GIVE ME ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO GET A GF!!!!!!!!!!!

Farlo · Post by **Farlo** » Mon Apr 07, 2003 4:16 am

getting a gf only ends up causing a feeling of self loathing

Nestorath69 · Post by **Nestorath69** » Mon Apr 07, 2003 6:45 pm

Okay, kittens, listen up. It's time for da Sermon on the Comp, Chapter 2 verse 1.
"Looks aren't everything, but they help. Keep yourself clean and neat. If you're going counterculture, make sure that you don't look like dumpster-worthy hamburger. CLEAN.
2. You must have the self confidence and attitude to back your play. You gotta be bold and assertive. For some people, it's going up to a girl and saying, "Lemme hit that shit." For others, it's working the shit and making her beg for your testosterone yogurt. Whatever it is, you cannot show weakness or cowardice. Always be strong.
3. Always be positive. "no" isn't the end of the fucking world. Move on. Flirt harder. Find the angle.
4. Ask open-ended questions that let them know you're interested, even if you're not. Reflective listening takes place here, too.
5. Lose your cherry to some easy bitch. Get that outta the way. You'll thank God and me later. After all, when you lose that, you mellow out a whole lot more.
6. Roofies are NOT the answer. Neither are household pets.
7. RELAX

Tune in to Sermon on the Comp, Chapter 3...

Pie Row Maniac · Post by **Pie Row Maniac** » Sat Apr 12, 2003 7:11 pm

Don't date loose women

It ends up just like the ending of any Cool Devices episode, only you're the girl.

:shock::shock:

gadoo · Post by **gadoo** » Sat Apr 12, 2003 7:28 pm

whoopah!

AznRAVEr1022 · Post by **AznRAVEr1022** » Sat Apr 12, 2003 7:32 pm

get her drunk and re-create the Evangelion hentai party

Pie Row Maniac · Post by **Pie Row Maniac** » Sat Apr 12, 2003 7:35 pm

AznRAVEr1022 wrote:get her drunk and re-create the Evangelion hentai party

The alternative situation with that is ending up like Shinji and wanking over her unconscious body. However, if you got it bad you could always take the initiative while she's asleep... *dirty thoughts, dirty dirty thoughts*

Nestorath69 · Post by **Nestorath69** » Sat Apr 12, 2003 8:32 pm

kids, getting a girl isn't one of life's greatest pursuits. focuson the things you need to do, and stop worying about things based on moral ambiguity. Girls will come to you. Give them the gift of your dick. send them on their way. Change your name and phone number. find a new girl and give them the gift of your seed, too. then rinse, repeat...
ha ha ha. relationships and girls are so trivial. focus on your responsibilities and obligations. for everything, there's a time and a place. Oh, and PLEASE stop whining.

gadoo · Post by **gadoo** » Sat Apr 12, 2003 9:57 pm

oh gag me with a spoon

EarthCurrent · Post by **EarthCurrent** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 1:31 am

/begin sarcasm

Now now, we have to tolerate Nestorath69. As you might note, he is in Utah, and as we have all learned, Utahan males are for the most part Polygamist barbarian savages who are only interested in proliferating their genes. They can't help themselves.

Blame the prophets...any one will do.

/end sarcasm

gadoo · Post by **gadoo** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 2:43 am