My stories

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Savia
Chocolate teapot
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My stories

Post by Savia » Fri Oct 24, 2003 3:29 pm

It's been a while.

Back when I was an unashamed n00b, I started a thread with this selfsame title. I wasn't really used to the Off-Topic crowd, and I got offended, and was pretty short with some people, and eventually I left the thread to steadily sink into the Abyss.

Whilst it existed, it got a little positive feedback, and some useful criticism, too. In all, it was probably worth keeping.

This is my 1,000th post, at least for the time being. Some people make a big deal out of postcount; others don't. I like to think that it's quality that counts over quantity, but nevertheless, reaching 4 figures made me think about the earlier days of my (admittedly short) time here.

The demise of the original 'My Stories' is my only real regret on this board. I hope to rectify that.

It's been great everyone. Here's hoping that I'll enjoy the next 1,000 just as much.

~

To start, something that I wrote on a whim, inspired by something half-erased on a blackboard, for a competition. Word limit was a harsh 200, but I'm very happy with the piece. I hope you enjoy it, and maybe post some constructive criticism if you don't. I'm anything but a professional writer, but I endeavour to improve in all things that I do.

Anyhow, I digress:

A Day: The Life Of…

An early beginning; sun barely over the horizon. Her wakening is a fresh slice of freedom. Rising, she preens herself, relishing nature all the while. The clear air invigorates her; the smell of dew-damp soil makes her feel incredibly alive.

The day begins. She has no shackles of drudgery for a day; only worriless hours of freedom. The sun rides a chariot-arc across endless blue as she meanders by the waterside, drinking in the placid surface with her eyes alone. She fills her senses with a dozen new experiences. She wanders amongst the green of the world, and savours the brilliance of the flowers. The feel of earth beneath her tread, of Earth, brings amazement at its beauty.

Some call the food of the gods nectar. She takes a moment to sup the headiness of this divine liquor in blissful reverie; then moves on to newer glories. Birds raise their sonorous voices, as much enveloped in the joy of life as she is.

The day dims steadily, and she plays on into the night. The setting sun is a backdrop to her discovery of more wonders: a beetle, its shell an oily blue, struggles to right itself after a fall. The grass beneath her seems to pulse with life.

Her own pulse races with exhilaration. She hovers by the waterside to contemplate for a moment how splendid her life has been. Her tremulous heart flutters, stops. As she falls serenely to the water, the mayfly thinks that life is beautiful.
"A creator needs only one enthusiast to justify him." - Man Ray
"Restrictions breed creativity." - Mark Rosewater

A Freudian slip is where you say one thing, but mean your mother.

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Flint the Dwarf
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Post by Flint the Dwarf » Fri Oct 24, 2003 3:32 pm

Good work. I hate working with word limits, so I can't really criticize. And, believe me, even here in college that looks professional compared to most of what I see. :?
Kusoyaro: We don't need a leader. We need to SHUT UP. Make what you want to make, don't make you what you don't want to make. If neither of those applies to you, then you need to SHUT UP MORE.

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Moonlight Soldier
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Post by Moonlight Soldier » Fri Oct 24, 2003 3:40 pm

Ah yes absolutely beautiful ^^

Nice Savia ^^

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J-0080
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Post by J-0080 » Fri Oct 24, 2003 3:58 pm

That was great, especially considering there was that limit on.

Just curious but did you have to come up with this on the fly, or did you write it before-hand?
paizuri wrote:There's also no need for introductions because we're generally a friendly bunch and will welcome you with wide open arms anyway.

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Savia
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Post by Savia » Fri Oct 24, 2003 4:03 pm

J-0080 wrote:That was great, especially considering there was that limit on.

Just curious but did you have to come up with this on the fly, or did you write it before-hand?
It was a submit-your-work thing- they gave you a topic or title, and from there you had to make a 200-word story and mail it in. One of the topics was 'A day in the life of...', and I just started to look at it written on the whiteboard, and suddenly I had the idea for this story. It took several drafts to squidge it down to 200 words. For this kind of thing, the semicolon is your best friend ^_^;
"A creator needs only one enthusiast to justify him." - Man Ray
"Restrictions breed creativity." - Mark Rosewater

A Freudian slip is where you say one thing, but mean your mother.

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angelx03
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Post by angelx03 » Fri Oct 24, 2003 4:13 pm

Very vivid! Nice work. :P
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Satomi
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Post by Satomi » Fri Oct 24, 2003 4:22 pm

Very nice, Savia. It's really beautiful.
guy07 wrote: they know me as the ball licker of hell

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methinksIMweird
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Post by methinksIMweird » Fri Oct 24, 2003 6:21 pm

very pretty :) nicely written
'someone up there must hate me...'
'someone down here hates you too'
'shut the hell up...'
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)v(ajin Koji
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Post by )v(ajin Koji » Sat Oct 25, 2003 4:50 am

Really great work! :D
Out of curiosity, did you get a grade for this work?
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Last edited by )v(ajin Koji on Mon 21, 2011 9:36 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Savia
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Post by Savia » Sat Oct 25, 2003 2:32 pm

Thanks to all that have posted their appreciation :oops:

And Koji- no, it was just for this competition thing. It was never graded or anything.

I should be posting something else in here relatively soon. Any constructive criticism on this one?
"A creator needs only one enthusiast to justify him." - Man Ray
"Restrictions breed creativity." - Mark Rosewater

A Freudian slip is where you say one thing, but mean your mother.

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