This will probably be the last thread I ever start

CaTaClYsM · Post by **CaTaClYsM** » Wed May 21, 2003 2:29 am

So I would preffer it if the spamming and flaming of me were kept ot a bare minumim. I need advice now more than ever.

The short of it is. I'm sitting watching as the world falls apart around my best friend and me.

The long of it is, that my uncle (on my moms side) was married to an insane woman and tried to keep the marriage together, and succeded for 25 years. But she kicked him out, and he moved in with my best friends parents. (because my friends mom and my mom are also close friends.) After a few months things seemed to be going fine. My grandma (mothers side again.) moved back here. And then yesterday, my uncle and best friends mom ran away together. Now this is a very bad thing. Now two marriages are ruined instead of one. And whats ever worse, is that today, my friends SISTER decided to get on a plane and fly over to where her mom and my uncle ran away to. The worst of it is, that my friends dad talked it over and driver her to the airport.

Things are way out of hand. My frineds dad is devestated, 20 some odd year marriage just up in smoke. Hell David Copperfiend couldn't pull a disapearing act like this one. Now it's my grandma, my best friend, and his dad living together. His sister, mom, and my uncle gone in two days. And my friend and uncle got along real well, he'd let my friend watch anime on his comp (which had a 19 inch monitor and a sub-woofer like you wouldn't believe.)

The bottom line is, I like to think that I can take bad news rather well and that I am willing to deal with a helluva lot. But this is where I draw the line (even if it's in the sand.) Not during finals week, and not when it is happening to my best friend, his dad, and my grandmother.

So what can I do, I can't just stand by and watch my friend's family fall apart. This is the kind of thing I wish they had a Hallmark card for, because while I could think of something to say if a loved one died, or someone got a sex change, the words for this simply escape me.

OzzieArcane · Post by **OzzieArcane** » Wed May 21, 2003 3:23 am

Geez, I just join the board and I stumble into a topic like this.

I'll start by saying I'm really sorry to hear that something like that had to happen so close to you. I can't really think of anykind of advice to give you and somethings like this... you really can't do anything about. I remember when my uncle decided to cut ties with the rest of the family because of his greedy wife. Someone in the family died and left my dad more money then anyone else(He had alot of bills to take care of) and she just wouldn't have that. She wanted her fair share of the dead guys money and ontop of that she assumed everyone else got as much as my dad but was hiding it... Anyhow they cut off ties with the rest of the family and because of that I haven't seen my two cousins who I was good friends with in 10 years.

Course with that we just gave up on them... but I hope you for your sake can think of something to help your friends and family out.

EarthCurrent · Post by **EarthCurrent** » Wed May 21, 2003 3:36 am

Don't do shit. Just be a friend for him.

CaTaClYsM · Post by **CaTaClYsM** » Wed May 21, 2003 3:38 am

earthcurrent wrote:Don't do shit. Just be a friend for him.

Well should I offer some symathy right now or wait for him to open up the lines of comunication first?

EarthCurrent · Post by **EarthCurrent** » Wed May 21, 2003 3:51 am

CaTaClYsM wrote:
earthcurrent wrote:Don't do shit. Just be a friend for him.
Well should I offer some symathy right now or wait for him to open up the lines of comunication first?

Well, you can certainly ask how things are going: If he's heard from his mom, sister, and whatnot. But you can't think that you can solve your friends problems in this sort of situation. If and when he really wants to talk about how he is dealling with this, let him initiate it. The best you can do is to let him know that if he wants to talk about things, you'll be there for him. Stay objective, don't take sides, just be there to listen. I'm certain he is embarrased about this whole situation, no use saying how sorry you feel for him since that might make him feel more uncomfortable about his current state of affairs.

klinky · Post by **klinky** » Wed May 21, 2003 5:16 am

Call Jerry=/

Or get a Shotgun and kill each and everyone one of them! Then yourself.

That's depressing.

Nah man as much as you suck, you don't deserve that to happen :/

~klinky

Golden Saucer · Post by **Golden Saucer** » Wed May 21, 2003 10:16 am

go to the other side!!

The oother side could be better!!!

HAHAHA, Shoot yourself in the er 3 times ans you shall get to the other side

Org Profile · Post by **Otohiko** » Wed May 21, 2003 11:38 am

Harsh realities of life.

I suppose this is no fault of yours or your best friend's. That's one point.

Generally, in these situations communiction is important. I wouldn't let your friend get locked up in his own thoughts, that only makes it worse. In these situations, believe me, thinking too much is about the worst thing you could do.

One one hand, you shouldn't look for a distraction or avoid the issue.

On the other hand, you don't want to dwell on the negative too much.

How you balance that depends on the individual situation. Needless to say, I'm not in a position to talk about this in detail, having little knowledge of the actual detail.

I hope you find a good way to sort this out. Just don't avoid your friend and don't let him avoid you. That's all I can offer. Sorry to hear about the situation.

Lone Wolf · Post by **Lone Wolf** » Wed May 21, 2003 1:15 pm

Situations like this are extremely difficult to solve.

I'm assuming that you are feeling almost as confused and upset as he is. Don't go thinking that it is partly your fault just because it was your uncle, your relative blood, that had a hand in this event occuring.

Communication is a must-have. Do not sever ties with your friend, his family, or your family. Be there to help your friend, but don't get involved so much as to make others think you are being intrusive.

I'm not sure if what I'm saying will actually help, considering I've never had something like this happen to me personally. I'm no psychiatrist; I'm only 17.

However, I'm almost positive this quote will help:
Time heals all wounds.

CaTaClYsM · Post by **CaTaClYsM** » Wed May 21, 2003 1:30 pm

Right now I'm still having trouble believign this is happening. These people wwere merried beore I was even born, I would have expected something like this to be done by TEENAGERS not by middle aged adults. Especialy ones with CHILDREN who will now never see them again.