My Stories

[Savia]

Creative writing is one of most beloved pasttimes, and I wanted to ask if any of you were interested in either reading some of what I've written (here, in this thread) or doing criticism / proofreading exchanges with me via PM. The basic idea is, you send me something that you want checked over and/or criticised, and in return you do the same for something of roughly equal length of mine.

I write mostly short stories, mostly fantasy or period set Japanese, but occasionly I stray off of that vein. I'm trying to wade through a novel at the moment, but I'm currently taking a break from it.

Now, here's a sample of something I wrote as a taster:



The poppy-man.

That morning,
In assembly,
They told us of wars long past
And of poppies,
Growing in Flander's Field.

They told us of 'symbolism',
Of 'memorial',
Of 'tribute'.

But we did not understand;
Did not care,
For it was a Wednesday,
And the week seemed nearly ending.

And the next day, they told us that,
Tomorrow,
There would be a man coming,
To sell poppies 'for those who died for us'.

But we did not understand;
Did not care,
For it was a Thursday,
And the week was nearly ending.

Yet that next day,
As the town woke,
The radios spoke of only one thing:
"It's war!"
They cried;
But all we saw was that the day was our own,
That the schools were out.

Our parents told us of a war,
A 'declaration',
That had stanted.

But we did not understand;
Did not care,
For it was a Friday,
And the week was nearly ending.

The next day, in the morning,
We saw the televisions cry of
Bombs, of 'nuclear attack',
Of 'treaties'.

Not until the bombs began to drop,
And the fiery red of spring flowers bloomed,
Not until the houses kneeled to the clouds,
As if in prayer,
Not until then did we understand;
Not until then did we care,
For it was Saturday,
And the week had ended.

The poppy-man had come at last.



A poem, not a story, and evidently not fantasy, but I'm very proud of this as I think it's one of my best works. Thanks,

Savia.

[Lyrs]

/end

[Savia]

/end

Well, somebody just found out where the emoticons are kept.

Seriously though, what did you think?

[fyrtenheimer]

That made my nipples hard.


Way to go

[Kamoc]

well, it's thursday, so what do you think i think.

[Lyrs]

/end

Well, somebody just found out where the emoticons are kept.

Seriously though, what did you think?

pick whichever one makes you happy. 8)

/end

[Savia]

pick whichever one makes you happy. 8)

This one?

Kamoc: go spam somewhere else.

Fyrtenheimer: likewise.

If you're not interested in the topic, don't post on the topic.

[fyrtenheimer]

NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR SHITTY DRAMA WRITINGS.


LEAVE ME ALONE

[Savia]

NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR SHITTY DRAMA WRITINGS.

You don't speak for everyone.

LEAVE ME ALONE

My thoughts exactly.

[fyrtenheimer]

Would you like your face cut?