So I check out how the VCAs are doing and see I made the final group for Most Helpful. Of course I start laughing my ass off. I'm not talking about a mild chuckle here, I'm talking a long loud laugh that lasts for a good solid minute or two and leaves me gasping for breath and seeing red spots before my eyes. I also, as it happens, laughed so hard I pissed myself. So I get up and go to the bathroom to clean myself off. I swear I didn't know my cat was in the bathroom at the time, not till I stepped on his tail at least. So the cat goes insane and starts running around the bathroom yowling in pain and this sets me off laughing again. Of all the times to see what I was up to my wife choose this one. She opened the door and saw me with my pants around my ankles and wet stuff dripping off my dick while I'm laughing like a maniac and the cat is running around screaming it's head off in pain. So anyway, long story short, now the SPCA is taking me to court. When I'm sitting in jail waiting for Bubba to look at me and say 'So you like AMVs? Wanna recreate the end of Date Rape?' I will blame each and every one of you that voted for me. Thanks, I appreciate it. So much so that I made another stupid self-pimping poster.
And now the pitch for why you should vote for me one last time:
I'm a very helpful person. Few people in history have been as helpful as I am. There is, in all honesty, absolutely no end to my helpfulness. People often gather together in large crowds to discuss how helpful I've been. I've been given helpfulness awards, the cub scouts gave me my helpful merit badge, and a small country in South America has awarded me several helpful medals of honor. Granted I don't have them here with me. I keep my medals and awards in my other pants. But trust me, the pockets on those other pants are so heavy from all the helpful awards I've gotten that it's a struggle just to keep them from falling down. Really. Honest. Would I lie? About this I mean, telling my wife I love her isn't a lie, it's self preservation.
Besdies, Pwolf bakes little babies, grinds them up, and uses them as a topping for his waffles. Last week Scintilla was caught beating a 12 year old newbie with a baseball bat for not compressing his audio. Zarxrax is currently waiting trail for child porn because of AMV Hell 0. You wanna vote for guys like these? Didn't think so.
