If anime were on Peter Griffin's TV...

megaman917 · Post by **megaman917** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 12:50 am

Should I continue with my talk show skecth? I want to get to the next girl who thinks that her half-demon boyfriend is cheating on her.

The Origonal Head Hunter · Post by **The Origonal Head Hunter** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 2:28 am

go for it. this is getting hilarious

megaman917 · Post by **megaman917** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 2:47 am

KZZZZT

Jerry: We’re back with “GIRLS Who Think That Their Half Demon Boyfriends Are Cheating On Them”.

Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Jerry: Here, we have Kagome, a ninth grader from Tokyo, Japan. Next to her is her half-demon boyfriend, Inuyasha. The two of them have been traveling throughout feudal Japan in search of shards of a sacred jewel, and slaying evil demons along the way. Things haven’t been going too well between Inuyasha and Kagome ever since Inuyasha’s ex-girlfriend, Kikyo, arose from the dead.

Jerry: Kikyo, can you tell us what your relationship with Inuyasha was like before you shot him with your arrow and bound him to a tree for 50 years?

Kikyo: Sure! I was the priestess of my village, and I was also in charge of protecting and purifying the Shikkon Jewel. There were many demons and humans who sought the jewel, but they all failed. The humans I drove away and the demons were killed. Soon Inuyasha started to seek the jewel. I stopped him many times but I never killed him.

Jerry: And why’s that?

Kikyo: I felt compassion for him, for we both had our burdens in life. He, being a half-demon, rejected by both humans and demons alike, and I, with the task of protecting a protecting and purifying a jewel that was constantly being sought by demons and wicked humans. As time went on, Inuyasha stopped coming after the jewel and started to protect me. We got to know each other and we started to fall in love. But, as Inuyasha said we were both led to believe that we betrayed each other. I saw him deliver a fatal strike that soon led to my death, and he saw me shoot arrows him. He came back to my village to steal the jewel and I sealed to the tree.

Jerry: So what keeps you bound to this to the world?

Kikyo: At first It was my love and hatred for Inuyasha. Now I want to get revenge on the demon that really killed me, also I enjoy getting under Kagome’s skin. You know, I even tried to kill her one time.

Kagome:

AND I WONT FORGIVE FOR THAT, YOU UNDEAD WHORE!
*Kagome tries to attack Kikyo again but Inuyasha restrains her*
Inuyasha: Kagome, calm down!
Kagome:

INUYASHA, LET GO OF ME!

Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Kikyo: Oh, you’re one to talk, Kagome! Or should I tell everyone about what you wanted to do and almost did with that boy, Houjo!

Audience:

Kagome:

W-W-What are you talking about?
Kikyo: When that witch brought me back to life, using your soul, I gained many of your memories. Before you met Inuyasha, you would, and I bet you still do, spy on this boy from your school. You thought he was so hot; and everyday when you got home from school you would lock yourself in your room and you would think about him and then you would…………………………..

Audience:

Inuyasha: *still holding on to Kagome* WHAT!
Kagome:

SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH! I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS, EVEN IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!

Kikyo: and then one day you brought him home with you, and you tried to..........................

Kagome:

I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Inuyasha: *still holding on to Kagome*

Kagome, what is she talking about?
Kagome:

It was before I met you.

Jerry: Can everyone sit down please? I would like to introduce our next guest.
*Inuyasha lets go of Kagome and they all sit down.*

Jerry: Our next guest is also a ninth grader from Tokyo, Japan. Please welcome Momiji Fujimiya to our show. Can you tell us about your relationship with your half-demon boyfriend?

Momiji:

Uh, thank you for having me. Momaru Kusanagi is his name and he’s half Aragami. We go around destroying the Aragami that terrorize the country. I really like Kusanagi, but he won’t give me the time of day. He even tried to kill me when we first met, but then decided to protect from now on.
Kagome: Same thing with me and Inuyasha.
Momiji: I know he likes me too, but he’s always talking about my undead twin sister, Katie (Kaede). Also two of my co-workers have been putting the moves on him.

Jerry: When we come back, we’ll talk to Momaru and find out what the story is. Stay tuned.

KZZZZT

Quincy-kun · Post by **Quincy-kun** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 1:40 pm

I've got a funny one.

-----------
*Everyone's at the drunken clam and some1's playing an awesome guitar solo*

Peter: That guy's really good!

Brian: Remember the time when you tried to join a band?

~~~~~~

Peter: You know, that Eiri Yuki guy is a real dick.

Shuichi: He's my boyfriend you bastard!

Peter: Okay.....................

~~~~~~

Peter: Those are some good memories.

Joe: What about the time you tried to go Chang'an?

~~~~~~

Goku: I'm hungry.......

Peter: For the last time Goku, SHUT THE F*** UP! IT GETS SO DAMN OLD!

~~~~~~

Cleveland: The best one's gotta be when he went to Central.

~~~~~~

Peter: Hey Ed, you know where I can get that cool arm armor?

Ed: It's not armor, it's actually my arm.

Peter: Then....do you know where I can an arm like that?

Ed: The only way you can do that is if you chop off your arm.

Peter: oh.........*looks disappointed*

megaman917 · Post by **megaman917** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 10:23 pm

Should I continue with my Jerry Springer talk show skecth? I'm thinking up a lot of interesting things (if you catch my drift).

OtakuMan22 · Post by **OtakuMan22** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 8:35 am

Let's try something a little different:

*Peter and Brian are watching TV*

TV: Next time on Dragon Ball Z... even MORE powering up!

Goku and Vegeta: YEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!

Peter: ANOTHER one! They were powering up in the last episode!

Brian: I think what they really need is a good laxative.

Peter: Brian! That's disgusting! ... or is it? Heh heh heh!

Brian: Oh come on Peter, isn't there ANYTHING else on?

Peter: Alright alright, let's see here...

*click click click*

Peter: Ooh ooh! It's that show with the people that change into animals...

Brian: You mean Ranma 1/2?

Peter: No no no, the one where they change into animals and have all the angstyness over relationship issues...

Brian: You mean Ranma 1/2?

Peter: NO! The animals, the relationship issues, and the really wacky hijinks!

Brian: Peter, that's STILL Ranma 1/2!

Peter: FINE! No Furuba for you then! Alright, moving on...

*click click click*

Peter: Okay wise guy, how about some Case Closed? I bet you can't figure out who did it!

Brian: It was the lady!

Peter: HA! Show's how much YOU know! I happen to have seen this one already! And it just so happens that it wasn't her, but the overzealous candidate for mayor.

Conan: The Overzealous candidate for mayor is DEAD!

Peter: Awww crap! Okay, no more smarty shows for you!

*click click click*

Peter: Hey Sailor Moon! This show hasn't been on in ages!

Brian: Of for the love of... Peter, this is a show with pre-pubescent girls running around in mini-skirts fighting quote un-quote "EVIL". You think they might as well put a warning on it that says "Danger: Jailbait"!

Peter: Oh for shame on you Brian! I used to watch this with Meg when she was little!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter: COME ON SAILOR MOON! YOUR LOVE CAN CONQUER ALL!

Meg: Dad, I'm bored, can we watch something else now?

Peter: SHUT UP!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian: Oh yeah, I remember that all too well!

Peter: Okay! I give up! Here... why don't YOU find something to watch!

*click click click click*

Peter: Hey what's this?

Brian: It's called Serial Experiments Lain. Watch it Peter, you might learn something.

Peter: I don't get it! So what if she's some kind of computer nerd who... what the HELL kind of computer is that!?

Brian: One that requires the constant intake of fluids in order to run properly.

Peter: Wow! Can I get one of those!?

Brian: Hmmmmm...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter: Hey Dad...

Mr. Pewtersmith: Don't call me that!

Peter: Sorry... Sorry... Ahem, Mr. Pewtersmith... I think it's time I got a new computer, and I was wondering if...

Mr Pewtersmith: I could lend you the money to get one capable of sending you into a nirvanic state of mind where matter is maleable and only the mind is solid?

Peter: Uhhhhh.... yeah?

Mr. Pewtersmith: HELL No!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian: I think it's best you not even try.

KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

~Otaku-Man

yuppa · Post by **yuppa** » Sat Aug 13, 2005 8:15 pm

Kzzzt

Stewie: hey what you watching lois?

Lois: its something called Gravitaion.. its bout this pretty singer boy.

Suichi and his BF start makin love*

Stewie: EGAD what the blast are they doing?

Lois Covers his eyes* There um.. Playing catcher!

megaman917 · Post by **megaman917** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:02 am

KZZZZT

Jerry: We’re back. We’re here with Momiji Fujimiya, who says that her half Aragami boyfriend may be cheating on her. And we’re now being joined by the young man in question. Momaru Kusanagi. Momaru, can you tell us what your relationship is like with Momiji?

Kusanagi: Just call me Kusanagi. Momiji and the Terrestrial Administration Center, otherwise known as the T.A.C. go around the country destroying the Aragami, and I show up when I need to. Momiji tends to be kind, shy, and for some reason or another she always lets me get a peek at her underwear, which is always a good sight.

Momiji:

Kusanagi!

Jerry: Kusanagi, what is this I’m hearing about Momiji’s undead twin sister?

Kusanagi: You mean Katie. It turns out that Momiji and Katie are descendents of the Kushinada dynasty, who have a property in their blood that can put the Aragami to an eternal sleep. But the only way to do this is by sacraficing one of the Kushinada. At first myself and the T.A.C. thought that Katie was the only one, and we had no idea that she had a twin sister in Momiji. Before I met Momiji, I used to follow Katie and I started to fall for her, but then we lost her. Before I met Momiji, she was the nicest person I ever met. All of sudden she comes back and is trying to destroy mankind. Right now, I can’t stop thinking about her.

Jerry: And what about Momiji’s two co-workers?

Momiji: Did I say two? I meant to say one. Sorry, but I’m a little nervous here.

Jerry: No problem. Kusanagi, care to answer?

Kusanagi: Oh! This girl that joined the T. A. C. and goes to school with Momiji, I think her name is Sakura, has been trying to one-up Momiji from the day they met. She’s been trying to put the moves on me, which really pisses off Momiji. Come to think of it; I think she’s trying to put the moves on Momiji too.

Momiji:

I think she has too, and it’s kinda creepy.

Jerry: I think it’s time that we hear Sakura’s side of the story. Sakura, come out!
*Sakura comes out, audience boos her. She waves at them*

Sakura: Hey everyone! *walks across the stage, caresses Momiji’s face and proceeds to sit on Kusanagi’s lap*
Momiji:

HEY! HANDS OFF, BITCH! *tackles Sakura to the ground and fights her*
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
*Momiji pins Sakura on the ground, Sakura caresses Momiji’s face again and gropes her*
Momiji: HEY!
Sakura: Wow Momiji, I didn’t know you liked it the rough way. Hey Kusanagi, you wanna join us?
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Kusanagi: Uh……………..
Momiji: Huh?

Sakura: Kagome, Kikyo, Inuyasha? Any of you care to join in as we……………
Audience member:

CAN I JOIN YOU? ORGY-GASM, HEH HEH ALRIGHT! GIGIDY GIGIDY GI-GI-DY!
Inuyasha: Uh…………….. *looks over at Sakura and Momiji*
Kagome:

SIT BOY!
Inuyasha: UMF! *hits the floor* WILL YOU STOP THAT!
Momiji: HEY! *gets off of Sakura rather quickly and returns to her seat*
*Sakura gets up and goes to her seat*

Jerry: Sorry, but we have to go commercial break again. When we come we’ll talk with Sakura and have some audience feedback. We’ll be right back.

KZZZZT

Lil' Sesshy · Post by **Lil' Sesshy** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 11:25 pm

Peter: This is just like that time I was on that childrens show from Japan that I was on.

James: Now we're going to take your pikachu away!

Peter: Uhm, you're gay.

James: How did you know?

Peter: Hello.. you're soo gay I mean look at you. You acts gay, sound gay, and look gay.

76 · Post by 76 » Sat Nov 05, 2005 11:38 pm

TOO MUCH READING *head pops*

(but that kagome, jerry spinger was funny as hell