Anime and Growing Up

[EvaXephon]

I've been watching anime since before I learned that some things didn't come from the country I lived in. I was a big fan of shows like DBZ, but didn't start getting serious about anime until around 14. Then, I started watching deeper shows, like Neon Genesis Evangelion. It helped me connect with the characters that they were 14 and so was I. Between the ages of 14 and 17, I watched lots of anime with characters in that age range, and watched lots of anime that takes place in high school.

In a mere four months, I will be 18 years old, and high school will be over in even less than that. I'm really sad, because I will no longer be in the same place as my favorite anime characters. I will no longer be able to experience any of the things they are experiencing, and will no longer be the same age as them. All of the high school anime I watch from that point on will leave me nostalgic for high school and wishing that I'd been able to experience it as the characters had.

Even worse, I didn't really experience high school in the first place. I've been in an independent study program for the past 6 years. It's basically homeschooling, except I go to see a teacher at a school to get assignments and turn in work, once a week. It's not a real school, just a small building with some people who assign and recieve your work.

I don't have any friends. I've never had a girlfriend or gone to a party or done any of the fun things most kids my age have done dozens of times. I pretty much wasted my entire childhood. Watching high school anime makes me really jealous of the characters who got to have such fun childhoods and high school experiences.

I recently watched Azumanga Daioh. At the end, all of the characters graduate high school, and go off to college. I'm going to do that soon. But I don't get to watch the Azumanga characters do it, too. I got to watch them have the fun high school experiences I never had, but I don't get to watch them going through the same thing I am. That makes me so terribly sad. In the manga version, does it follow their stories after they go to college?

So, my dilemna is that I'm going to exit childhood and high school soon, and it makes me sad for several reasons - I'm exiting the realm that my favorite anime characters are living in, I never got to experience high school as they did, I never got to experience high school period, I'm going to be jealous every time I watch an anime with characters younger than me, and I don't get to see my favorite characters going through the same experiences I am.

Does anyone have any advice for me? What should I do? How can I make things better? Is it even possible to make things better at all? Are there any college anime you can reccomend for me? Any anime I should see while still in high school?

Please be serious, because this is very important to me. =(

[Kai Stromler]

First off, where do you live so that school ends in May? Even when I finished high school, and us senoirs got out like two weeks early, it was still like the first week of June. (Abitur students here in Germany do their examination at the end of April, but you don't write like a German. Dunno about anywhere else.)

Second, the best thing you can do about your current situation is to STOP ANGSTING ABOUT IT. All is not lost because you did not have a childhood like "everyone else". If you did not do these things you're now lamenting earlier, you must have both a) had your reasons for doing so and b) spent that time doing something else, which you liked more. Doing things that you don't like because you think they'll benefit you later on is most of the time a horrifically bad investment; in some of the classes I took for my master's, I occasionally wished I had done classes on the higher-level math that was involved -- but I learned the math in parallel with the circuit design or crypto theory or whatever, and probably got more of it and more out of it than if I'd just done some number theory class years before.

Unless you get hit by a bus tomorrow (in which case it won't matter), you still have a lot of time if you want to develop socially. If you have a strong interest in anime, go around on the convention circuit this summer, but not to just sit in rooms and watch anime so much as to meet people with the same interests. It'll probably be easier to make friends and interact in this setting, where you know you've got something in common, and you can apply that knowledge when you go to college and end up interacting with a huge bunch of people gathered there for totally divergent reasons.

For more help on this, see Genshiken, which seems to be exactly fit for your situation. It's also a pretty good 'average case' of a college anime club -- some are better organized and more active, and some are filled with worse and more dysfunctional otaku, but Madarame et al are pretty typical. (The manga hits harder and pulls fewer blows than the anime, which is still okay.) Sadly, Azudai does not continue into college.

You still have a couple months before school's out, and more than half a year before college starts. This is plenty of time to develop new interests, especially with your fairly loose school schedule. Get a job to make money for those convention trips; you'll get/have to interact with coworkers and customers, and you'll get paid for it, even if it isn't all that much. If there's an anime/game/comic store in your area, hang out there (if the possibility avails itself), make friends with other aficionados, and get into tabletop RPGs if you haven't already.

The situation "I regret not socializing because I was watching anime all the time, what anime should I watch to help me get over this" is a non-starter; the solution is not to either junk anime and try to remake your personality (which won't work) or to retreat and consign oneself to a life alone, but to develop beyond watching anime all the time, and to use the time spent (and to be spent in the future) watching anime as an avenue for socialization. You can do it, and if you're committed, it probably won't even be that hard.

hth,

--K

[littlekohitsuji]

Don't be so down on yourself. I've discovered that my college anime club is 20x better than my high school anime club. People know what they're talking about and just all around more mature about it. This is where the majority of my new friends in college (I'm a freshman) have come from - opening up and meeting people in my anime club. It was awkward, yes, and I still feel uncomfortable because they have been in college longer and have seen a buttload more anime than I am, but you know, you gotta start somewhere.

And as for feeling nostolgic, reading manga or watching anime that deal with pre-teen/teenage issues are quite comforting to me. I didn't watch anime when I was younger - only really been into it for about a year now. Watching these rich, detailed stories make me feel like "Hey, I wasn't that weird of a kid." One of my favourite manga, "Othello", actually portrays a character, Yaya, doing what I wish I could of done at her age - turn into the ass kicking Nana and making sure "Justice is done!" to all the bitches who made my junior high years hell. In others words, its cathartic. I can't directly identify with these characters, but I can read these manga or watch the anime like an older sister watches her younger sister begin to experience life. It's a different want to experience anime, but its not a bad transition. It's a part of growing up.

That was a bit babbling, gomen, but all in all please don't be so hard on yourself. I symphathize with feeling like you missed out on a lot of things by not being as social as a lot of people...but soon you'll realize there's a lot more important things in life. Worry about your education first and foremost. I'd rather be in the 10am Japanese class and actually learn the language then be the 11am class with my friends and not learn a damn thing.

[ShinMasaki]

Worry about your education first and foremost. I'd rather be in the 10am Japanese class and actually learn the language then be the 11am class with my friends and not learn a damn thing.

Very, very sound words...I learned that the hard way and failed my Japanese 101 class because of that. That was three years ago and in the past, but anyways...

Don't stress yourself over things that are going to change, things are ALWAYS going to be changing like that with or without your ability to control things the way you would like to. Instead, just try to go with the flow and enjoy things the best way that you can. That's what I picked up from watching Azumanga Daioh...the bittersweet ending still left me in tears, though. (The books do not continue onto college level for the girls. It ends ...<<<spoiler warning>>> shortly after their graduation and acceptance into their colleges with them spending the last moments that they can together before leaving one another ... *cry* ) one of the most touching moments, in my opinion...i know the feeling well...

As for what to do once you enter college, if you are still as interested in anime as you are now...you post on an anime based webforum regularly, and know what you are talking about...then try to find some club or activity that would fit with your appeals...an anime club, for example...most colleges/universities nowadays have at least one.

As for the anime you should watch currently...kick back and relax with some Doki Doki School Hours for simplicity, or look for the manga Kanpai!...they are just totally random, out there stories that have a basis on the school. Or go back to grade school level with some Akazukin Chacha...if you can find it...

As for college anime, I suggest trying Ah! My Goddess, the TV version, Keichii represents the lonely, single college student that a lot of us know first hand, and then throws in the most amazing wish-come-true scenarios.

*****

Exiting childhood you say...ha!...I graduated high school four years ago, it's what you feel inside that defines whether you are an 'adult' or a 'child'...in my opinion anyway. I like dipping into the realm of both every now and then, being an 'adult' in most situations will be helpful, but be mindful of the 'child' inside and don't be afraid to let that child out every now and then and let loose.

[SarahtheBoring]

One thought about not being in "the same place" as the characters - You'd be surprised at that. Since I didn't get into anime very much until just after college, I've never been in the same age range as any protagonists. (Occasionally some side characters. Misato, or the teachers in Azumanga, or the Mabudachi Trio. But I'm older than them now, too.)

But that shouldn't prevent you from enjoying the story. The story doesn't have to be "about" you, in this moment - it can be nostalgic, or even entirely different. You can still relate to it. Try it sometime, if you're used to series about people very similar to you. Check out a series about kids in elementary or middle school, for example. You'd be surprised.

Anyway, life is what you make it, kiddo, and if you move forward always grieving for your adolescence, you're never going to be happy. I don't think the problem is anime. I think the problem is buying into the high-school-guidance-counselor line of BS that high school is all that life is, that it's never going to get any better than high school, ever. People who say that have stunted adult lives and are sad individuals.

Also, LIVE LIFE YOURSELF. Jesus. The experiences you never had? Have them. You are in control. Consider therapy, and I mean that in the kindest possible way. This internet board will not help you with your misery.


At any rate, to answer the least important part of this intensely depressing journal entry turned board post: anime about grownups. Let's see. Monster. Very good. Look to the "old people" in series you know. I name-checked a couple that came to mind - you probably didn't notice it, but the teachers in AzuDaioh have an interesting little sidestory about them, too. Grownups are people too, you know.

Also not to snark, but consider books and live-action movies, too. It might be a cultural thing or it might be a case of what gets translated into English, but the entertainment world at large is not as youth-obsessed as anime/manga is.

...but consider living first. You'll enjoy it.

[EvaXephon]

Sorry I haven't been here in the past five days! Computer problems >_< I hope this won't count as Necroposting...

First off, where do you live so that school ends in May? Even when I finished high school, and us senoirs got out like two weeks early, it was still like the first week of June. (Abitur students here in Germany do their examination at the end of April, but you don't write like a German. Dunno about anywhere else.)

I'm sorry, I didn't word things correctly - my birthday is on June 30th, which leaves lots of room in the month of June for highschool to end. But another important detail is that I'm probably going to finish high school a few months early, because I'm way ahead in credits.

Second, the best thing you can do about your current situation is to STOP ANGSTING ABOUT IT. All is not lost because you did not have a childhood like "everyone else". If you did not do these things you're now lamenting earlier, you must have both a) had your reasons for doing so and b) spent that time doing something else, which you liked more.

It's true that I had my reasons and spent time doing something else that I liked, but the problem is that I feel like I could have had so much more fun doing something else, and I feel bad because the oppurtunities are lost.

If you have a strong interest in anime, go around on the convention circuit this summer, but not to just sit in rooms and watch anime so much as to meet people with the same interests. It'll probably be easier to make friends and interact in this setting, where you know you've got something in common, and you can apply that knowledge when you go to college and end up interacting with a huge bunch of people gathered there for totally divergent reasons.

I've thought of that, too, but there's something I'm worried about. I don't know what to do, say, or how to act around other people. I have a very hard time interacting with anyone. I think that if I went to a convention and tried to talk to people or make friends, I'd just look stupid the whole time and would make no friends.

The situation "I regret not socializing because I was watching anime all the time, what anime should I watch to help me get over this" is a non-starter

Owch...I realize that I sounded pretty dumb, when you put it that way...>_<;

Thank you for your advice.

[Scintilla]

If you have a strong interest in anime, go around on the convention circuit this summer, but not to just sit in rooms and watch anime so much as to meet people with the same interests. It'll probably be easier to make friends and interact in this setting, where you know you've got something in common, and you can apply that knowledge when you go to college and end up interacting with a huge bunch of people gathered there for totally divergent reasons.

I've thought of that, too, but there's something I'm worried about. I don't know what to do, say, or how to act around other people. I have a very hard time interacting with anyone. I think that if I went to a convention and tried to talk to people or make friends, I'd just look stupid the whole time and would make no friends.

I felt the exact same way in high school.

The only things that helped were:
1) observing how other people acted and spoke in similar situations
2) eventually, managing to stop worrying about what people would think

[HeavyMetal]

Hmmm.....I think I can help you with this one.

First, high school sucks. Don't believe the teen movies, its all a lie. The only ones having fun are failing with no future plan.

I think Johnny Cage (Mortal Kombat) said something like I don't know where I am, I am completely unprepared, and surrounded by people who probably want to kick my ass. Its just like high school.

Second would you really trade your memories for Shinji's. (Okay so I might, but that's me.)

If you like in depth anime like Eva etc, are they really about high school or is that just a familiar setting to most viewers to relate.

The characters are related to on an emotional basis, age should not be too big a factor, as well. Insanity is insanity, Shinji losing it is still good.

Finally, you will find new shows to interest you. Personally I like Ghost in the Shell. That sure as hell does not take place in high school.

However, you should not forsake the high school shows they are still good. I never saw Eva in high school, but it still kicks.

Besides nostalgia for what? You live at home, you have no girlfriend, no car, few friends, friends that move away, and teachers bitchin all the time. Yeah, who wants some more high school. Even a bad day is better than that.

I say go off to college, get a crap job, make friends there, go to concerts and party it up. Anime gets even better when you have more life experience to relate to it.

[Zalis]

(sorry to dig this up, but it looked interesting and I don't come to these forums very often)

I think one solution is to sever the connection between your physical age and your mind. Just because one grows beyond a certain age doesn't mean they can't enjoy things designed for that age any more. I did this ages ago because I wanted to remain a "child at heart"--I'm currently 24 (male), and I feel little to no shame watching shows with much younger characters, like Kodocha, Full Moon wo Sagashite, CardCaptor Sakura, etc. (And no, I'm not lolicon, before you start in on that.) If the anime is fun/cute/enjoyable/emotionally moving, then I don't see any problems watching it, no matter what its target audience may be.

Kimi ga Nozomu Eien is, btw, an anime dealing with the post high-school world, though not with college--it's a romance/drama anime with a love triangle and 125% RDA of angst. It might not start out that way, but make sure to watch past the first few episodes.

[oldwrench]

Hah, only 24? I just became an official senior citizen last Sunday, (that's 55 if you didn't know) and I very much enjoy anime that have characters younger than I. In fact I don't think you often find characters my age in anime, maybe a few venerable old uncles or grandfathers. Age has little to do with your enjoyment of a character or identifying with an anime character. We can be whatever we want in our imaginations. There also are quite a few animes with college age or older characters. Cowboy Bebop, Berserk, Samurai Champloo, Tokyo Godfathers, Dai Guard, Blue Submarine 6, Blue Gender, Ghost in the Shell, these are a few I can think of right now.

My school experience was opposite yours in many ways, but like yours in others. I live in school dormatories from the time I was 14 till I finnished with school, but I never really had any girlfriends and most of my school memories center around the sports I was in. Actually my college years are much more memorable. I think if you just be yourself, you will find friends you have things in comon with. It would be good for you to have more of a social life. The suggestion of anime conventions is a good one. If you are attending a college (I hope you are) check for an anime club, or try to find other anime fans and start one. There seem to be quite a few college age people who appreciate this artform. there are many other college clubs to try out also. Don't give up just because you are growing up, imagination lives on at any age.