I dont get it [Why so many metal subgenres?]

[Kher-za]

If Metal Was a Hot Chick You Were Copulating With

(a study of different sub-genres)


Death metal: She strangles you with the umbilical cord of her 3rd-trimester aborted child and chops off your testicles with a rusty knife, then urinates on your corpse.

Progressive metal: She ignores you completely and masturbates instead.

Black metal: She drags you to the forest and sodomizes you with a crucifix, then accuses you of being a Zionist, communist homosexual and stabs you to death. She then burns your body for the glory of Odin and offers herself to a goat.

Power metal: N/A. No hot chick listens to power metal. Unless you're a chubby-chaser.

Doom metal: She whines about you thrusting too fast, then begins sobbing. She wonders why no one understands her, passes out from too much absinthe, and you don't get laid that night.

Grindcore: She gets you off in 30 seconds or less.

Folk metal: The session ends in disgust before it really started, because flutes simply aren't meant for certain orifices.

Thrash metal: You both have really sloppy, fast-paced sex then never see her for years. When she shows up again, she's gained 40 pounds, and she's bald.

Metalcore: You have awesome sex, and then you find out she's 15. You get arrested.

[Iamshadowkiller]

You sir are out of order


/end

[CerebralAssamite]

Grindcore: She gets you off in 30 seconds or less.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, I love that one

[Dr.Mabuse]

Might come as a pretty silly question...but i hear so much different types of metal/rock, i dont know the difference...me being mostly into hip hop and alternative, i just want to know the difference between stuff like heavy metal, power metal, death metal, black metal, goth metal...i see soo many different types, but whats the difference?

and where would a band like slipknot fit under?

Hmm:

Death Metal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6I4-dWDGPo
Power Metal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iOeA06_vOs
Heavy Metal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgqxQmAbTBc
Black Metal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BI4_NMxPb8
Goth Metal: No video, goth metal is gay
Thrash Metal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUDWLp1yIWw
Progressive Metal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMauyB8zaKQ (Napalm Death feat. Dream Theater covers Metallica)

Ok, now, we can
differentiate in Death Metal... There are also many diffent styles.

[Iced Earth Fan]

Well, alright then. I've listened to Metal for ten years of my life, so I'm going to try my hand at explaining sub-genres. Remember, this is all my own opionion, so feel free to debate:) Heavy Metal is mostly considered to be the bands that appeared in the early to mid eighties: Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Sampson, AngelWitch, are the ones who are mostly identified with this genre.

Power Metal and Epic metal are good, but stand pretty much the same to me. They're both based around fast paced and atmospheric melodies. Bands like Kamelot, Human Fortress, Domain, Dragon Force, Sonata Artica, Black Majesty, Blind Guardian, and Beyond Twilight are good examples of that genre.

Gothic Metal is a genre that is widely debated, as some bands that aren't really even metal try place themselves in it. In true gothic metal, you can expect heavy keyboard usage, and a dark, brooding presence within the music. But, a wide variety of sub genres appear in the Gothic metal, that allows bands to spread out to a wider audience. Nightwish, Epica Lacuna Coil, Dimmu Borgir, Evergrey, Within Temptation, Cradle of Filth, Penumbra, all can fall into this catagory.

Death and Black metal can be confusing, but when I think of Death Metal I think of bands like (Old) Therion, Celctic Frost, Cannible Corpse, Suffacation, Crytopsy, Slipnot, and HateBreed, these bands are more agressive, brutal sounding, and less based on melody. While Black Metal you can mainly find much more melody and rythems, and expect a decent amount of keyboards. Agathodaimon, Children of Bodom, Dimmu Borgir (Yes, again a band can fall under multiple genres), Winter Sun, Borknager, Empyrean Sky, all have a home here.

There are many, many other genres in Metal but those few are pretty much the basics. Some bands like Rhapsody Of Fire create a sound so uniuqe, that you fit the sound to one genre that already exists. That's when bands form their own genres, in R.O.F's case, they created "Film Score Metal". I hope that this helps in some way. But more than likely it'll confuse people even more:)

[Dr.Mabuse]

Death and Black metal can be confusing, but when I think of Death Metal I think of bands like (Old) Therion, Celctic Frost, Cannible Corpse, Suffacation, Crytopsy, Slipnot, and HateBreed, these bands are more agressive, brutal sounding, and less based on melody. While Black Metal you can mainly find much more melody and rythems, and expect a decent amount of keyboards. Agathodaimon, Children of Bodom, Dimmu Borgir (Yes, again a band can fall under multiple genres), Winter Sun, Borknager, Empyrean Sky, all have a home here.

First, it calls "SuffOcation"! Than, Slipknot and Hatebreed are shit, not Death metal!
Celctic Frost is more a kind of thrash/black metal, NOT death metal. Wintersun are also melodic death.

[liya-chan]

I think there'are so many subgenres cause metal could sound really different. I think you would find the differences while listening death metal and gothic metal for example

[NS]

There are tons of sub genres for just about everything. Most of them are formed by influencing the pure sound with another

I have yet to see a Metal Punk Band though

[Otohiko]

I have yet to see a Metal Punk Band though

Isn't that called thrash metal?

[NS]

Haha, Yah. I suppose you're right. I didn't really think about that.