The Vent Thread

[Enigma]

Spoiler :

Despite how good things may be, or seem. My anxiety and paranoia are more so reaching peek. Schizophrenia not making it any easier, everyday feels a lot more interesting than the previous. I was considering dropping out from school and seeing what would happen from there on, if maybe i could start a business like my great grandfather did a billion years ago, or somehow finally muster enough will power to try an an-hero just based on impulse to see if that's what I'd really desire, or somehow resonate with me a new optimistic perspective on things, but as of now it all rather seems...bleak. Rather unhappy on the uncertain future, or at least what i perceive it to contain. It all just doesn't seem to be ideal, or something to at least chase for. But i finish high school in about 7 months and then I'll have 2 years before I'm legal to do what i want, so that could possibly inspire me to do something, or at least fix this problem to get on with things.

[Emong]

boyfriends suck a lot =3

Having no boyfriend has it disadvantages too

>=|

[gotegenks]

Having no boyfriend has it disadvantages too

>=|

really hasn't been any trouble for me...

[dj_ultima_the_great]

Hours at work are being cut (not just for me, but for everyone). I guess this is the slow season, so we won't see more until April or so. I'm part time anyway, so that takes my twenty-ish hours down to ten or so. So much for saving up anything.

[Mr. Fuzzyflippers]

Most days I feel like I'm not really myself. As if I'm watching someone else in my body go through the day while I tend to my own thoughts. My thoughts never stop throughout the day while my body moves along. I feel as if I'm a ghost wandering around my school most days. Every time someone interrupts my thoughts, I become very stressed, yet I still feel like I'm just going through the day as a ghost; a ghost going in slow motion. Most of this happens during school or when I'm in a public place and I can't leave. When I'm at home I feel more like myself, but it still feels like a dream to me, like I'm not really alive. The only time I really feel alive is when I indulge in my greatest obsessions such as video games or playing guitar (even then, sometimes I feel outside of my body just watching myself play).

[Enigma]

Most days I feel like I'm not really myself. As if I'm watching someone else in my body go through the day while I tend to my own thoughts. My thoughts never stop throughout the day while my body moves along. I feel as if I'm a ghost wandering around my school most days. Every time someone interrupts my thoughts, I become very stressed, yet I still feel like I'm just going through the day as a ghost; a ghost going in slow motion. Most of this happens during school or when I'm in a public place and I can't leave. When I'm at home I feel more like myself, but it still feels like a dream to me, like I'm not really alive. The only time I really feel alive is when I indulge in my greatest obsessions such as video games or playing guitar (even then, sometimes I feel outside of my body just watching myself play).

You should read up on depersonalization disorder, if you haven't.

In other news
I got a text message at around midnight-2 in the morning saying my girlfriend was in the hospital, apparently having a ulcer in her chest/heart area not letting her breath properly, so theres probably going to be some surgery involve. Probably not a bad thing, but still rather disheartening.

[Kitsuner]

Staying awake all night sucks.

[Enigma]

Grandfather died.


In all sincerity, i don't care. But the reception of my apathy towards him is most bothersome.

[TEKnician]

sunburn



but was totally worth it

[BasharOfTheAges]

Seem to have caught a super flu of some sort. Bouncing between hot and cold, fever, couldn't even keep water down for a while. So dehydrated from other symptoms that I'm getting severe muscle cramps. My car is also full of what now must be frozen vomit.