The Vent Thread

[aesling]

Mail-order Russian bride, George! \o/

But seriously, I don't know if it goes as deep as sad people being seen as dangerous, I think people just tend to polarize the issue, with very little space in between. I think Valentine's day can be pretty horrible if you're single, and I tend to hate it more when I don't have someone to be with, but I don't think raging against it publicly is going to change anything and is just going to make you look like a jerkish misanthrope that people in a relationship can easily feel morally superior to.

[JaddziaDax]

The way you phrase that is like just because we have an s/o now is the only reason we CAN enjoy the holiday. I don't think that's true because I've liked the holiday even before I was married. Even before I had any boyfriends, and I never had many boyfriends. I guess I was perfectly fine with being single. Truthfully, I never expected to get married and I always bragged to my friends about becoming the crazy cat hoarder. (Getting married has not interrupted those plans though.)

I always took it as a way of celebrating all kinds of love, not just romantic love. I would do stuff for my friends back in the day. I also happen to enjoy the colors red and pink, and I like the shape of hearts.

So for me what it comes down to is that I like the decor and I enjoy doing stuff for my friends.

If you don't like it that's fine. But it becomes tiresome to hear the same complaints come up every single year, that I can understand wanting to shut out those people for a bit. I personally haven't been blocking anyone, but I have been frequenting facebook less.

It's not about looking at people assuming they are dangerous, its more about not wanting to hear the haters.
Take this as a similar example: Do we enjoy AMV haters bragging about how much amvs suck? or do we like to defend ourselves saying that not all amvs are the crappy ones you find on youtube?

[Pwolf]

IMO, its disrespectful for those who choose to celebrate, single or not. I think about it the same way people complain about Thanksgiving being a holiday that celebrates the cruel treatment of Native Americans. I don't condone what early Americans did to them and I certainly wouldn't celebrate it but I do celebrate Thanksgiving. I find it very disrespectful when people do this because the day isn't about that. Honestly I would equate it to going up to a group of people in a store looking at Valentine's Day cards/gifts and saying, "Happy St. Valentine's Day Massacre Day!" Has nothing to do with the purpose of the holiday. At that point I'm just being a jerk and want people to feel bad but you get the point.

Everyone's entitled to their opinion and they're entitled to voice that opinion but just let the people who do celebrate the holiday, celebrate it. There are 364 other days in the year you can be vocal about being single, give couples this one day. Either make the most of it and find a way to celebrate it while being single, or just let everyone else have their fun. After Feb 14th, you can tell them to shut up about it

[Ileia]

My main problem is that if it's two sides of the same coin, then when you flip it, you mostly get the same side. You get way more Valentine's Day shoved in your face by people angry or upset about it than you do people being all lovey-dovey. Some of the people I hid from my FB feed, I hid because their comments were essentially attacking the people in relationships (which is honestly how a lot of V-Day rage gets translated) and some were just long vents about how no one loves them or ever will. Along with Bashar's comment, it's like those commercials. I can't NOT feel bad when someone is starving relationship-wise, except, unlike those children, I can't donate to them. As much as I would like to, I can't DO anything for them. Are there people who like watching those kind of commercials? Because I don't.

Of course, there are other non-relationship related problems that people take issue with that I just find ridiculous. "Corporate holiday"? Yeah, sure it is. Look here, pal. Companies take advantage of EVERY holiday, they will use any excuse to get people's money, it's not exclusive to Valentine's Day. I don't see any "Goddamnit, stop trying to sell me fireworks for the 4th of July!" or "If I see another add for a President's Day furniture sale, I'm going to go smash my head through my TV!" comments.

[Otohiko]

I didn't polarize it and I'm not raging against it. I just want an alternative view of it to be acknowledged. Otherwise this is about me, and like I said, I'm not running around waving my ruin-everything flag in public and at every excuse - I'm just doing it here. That's what vents are for! I want to get it out and I don't want to be mobbed by a wave of "no you have to stop complaining!", and I'm doing so in a place where IMO it's appropriate. Nor am I begging for material help, just understanding. Having a whole side of my personality essentially locked in with no legitimate outlet and no way to articulate it to even close friends can be very, very difficult.

As for being a jerkish misanthrope, well. That may not be far off, but at this point, it's not exactly somewhere where I arrive for no reason on days like this .__.

Again, underline: I'm not raging against Valentine's and I'm not even justifying some sort of school of Valentine-hating thought. This is not what it's about for me, and as I keep saying, I'm wishing others all the best on the day. And this is only in the vent cause this is the vent. I ain't ruining Valentine's threads or other general discussions here...

[Pwolf]

running around waving my ruin-everything flag

I would totally take a picture of this for lulz if such a flag existed.

[Otohiko]

running around waving my ruin-everything flag

I would totally take a picture of this for lulz if such a flag existed.

It already does.






Otherwise, again, I think there's a bit of a misunderstanding and perhaps a cultural one. There is always another way to look at sadness, loneliness and other 'negative' feelings. There's nothing wrong with them, and they're no less part of life or worthy of engaging in than the positives. At least that's the way I always saw that. I may complain and I may be miserable misanthrope on occasion and have a deeply fatalistic view of life in general, but it doesn't stop me from going to work, helping people, believing in good things, enjoying the company of friends, having fun. I did that through a 3-year depression, and I can still do it through one or two days that irk me. Being all negative and shit doesn't really take away anything from one's personal experience, and possibly enriches it. I really don't understand the repulsion and lack of acknowledgment towards it - unless someone is prevented from functioning otherwise by it and becomes a complete and total jerk, that's really not an issue. I hope venting in one thread and being a drama queen every once in a while doesn't suddenly make me a total and complete jerk though .__.

[Pwolf]

OF COURSE! THE CANADIAN FLAG!

[BasharOfTheAges]

Let the record show that, unlike Oto, I am okay with some people thinking I'm a complete jerk.

[Otohiko]

Also, on the point of children in Africa, I think that's also a false comparison. No, you can't give money, but you can give better acknowledgement to what you learn from it. And spend less resources and energy on stupid shit and less time pretending that you have no relation to their predicament and live in a bubble where you are free from responsibility towards them. That has always been my axe to grind with libertarianism, but that's a completely different discussion and I think I'll stop it here.