GIVE ME ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO GET A GF!!!!!!!!!!!

Mroni · Post by **Mroni** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 7:06 am

I always thought you just clubbed the girl when you wanted to fuck one. But then all these people started staring at me and a cop started shouting at me so I ran away from the Elementary school and hid in the woods for a while until things calmed down. Now I offer girls candy and they are far more cooperative.

Mr Oni

SarahtheBoring · Post by **SarahtheBoring** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 7:54 am

That would be funny if it weren't literally true. 8)

Anyway, the original topic - Some people just aren't going to reproduce. This is good for our gene pool. Consider porn! Gets you what you want, no need for those uncomfortable "human interactions", and it's free on teh intarweb!

Besides, afterward you can always come onto the internet and spout off teen angst about how you don't have a girlfriend. ("Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll listen to Disturbed...") Great for laughs. At least for the rest of us.

So cynical today. I hate Sundays.

jonmartensen · Post by **jonmartensen** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 11:21 am

I saw Oni post about clubbing a girl, and I just had to make this

The Little Mermaid
soundtrack lyrics...revised

There you see her
Sitting there across the way
You already know what she will say
But you still want to get her
And you don't have a chance
Of getting into her pants
You gotta club the girl

Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
But you know she don't want you too
There is one way to get her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and club the girl

Sha la la la la la
My oh my
She'll leave you dry
Ain't gonna get with the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl

Now's your moment
In the dark Alley way
You better hit that skull today
No time will be better
You need to give it a go
She won't be able to say NO
After you club the girl

Sha la la la la la
You can't turn back
Once you hear that crack
Go on and club the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't stop the act
You already got the bat
You want to club the girl
Sha la la la la la
You got a lot of clout
Don't let her firure it out
The song say club the girl
Sha la la la la
You swing that bat
You know where the target at
You got to club the girl
You've got to club the girl
You wanna club the girl
You've gotta club the girl
Go on and club the girl

Mroni · Post by **Mroni** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 2:57 pm

inspired way better than the original

Mr Oni

mexicanjunior · Post by **mexicanjunior** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 3:04 pm

SarahtheBoring wrote: Consider porn! Gets you what you want, no need for those uncomfortable "human interactions", and it's free on teh intarweb!

Damn straight!

Nestorath69 · Post by **Nestorath69** » Mon Apr 14, 2003 6:30 pm

Just because I'm getting my education in UT does not make me a 'Utard'. And I'm definitely not mormon. I just don't give a damn. porn is good. Get porn. convince yourself that you HAVE a girl, and pull off to porn. There you go.

Pie Row Maniac · Post by **Pie Row Maniac** » Mon Apr 14, 2003 6:39 pm

Tricking one's hormones has never been more strategic

jonmartensen · Post by **jonmartensen** » Mon Apr 14, 2003 6:48 pm

Nestorath69 wrote:Just because I'm getting my education in UT does not make me a 'Utard'. And I'm definitely not mormon. I just don't give a damn.

Just.....shut up