My Dumb Engineering Humour... Part One

danielwang · Post by **danielwang** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 12:45 am

Japanese Pop Music Found Superior
Our pop music is better than yours, mathematicians say

In the culmination of 2 hours of research, graduate students and faculty from DuMieze Polytechnic released a groundbreaking report that, among other things, declared Japanese pop music superior to the American version.

The study was designed to measure certain mathematical properties of several recently released Japanese and American pop albums. A survey was conducted on campus, and properties of music deemed to be desirable were measured and compared within the sample through the use of computer algorithms and test subjects. Among the characteristics of “desirable” music cited in the report were layer-channel complexity, frequency range, and relative dynamics.

According to Mr. Shotaro Yachi, Japanese pop music typically averages from 1-5 layers and has increased complexity in direct relation to vocal segments, compared to American music. In terms of the relative dynamics, he also added that American pop music was “very repetitive” and “did not contain enough transformations, much less a oscillation regression”.

However, the study was not without criticism. Other students pointed out flaws in the investigational process, citing biased influence in the process recording. Many also felt that the choice of “desirable properties” was only arbitrary and was not the result of participant decisions. Some just said that it wasn’t fair to compare Ayumi Hamasaki to Marc Cohn.

Mr. Lee’s team tended to disagree. “Japanese pop music costs more, and it sells even better in Japan”, they argue. “If you can find a study to say track complexity is undesirable, then we can start comparing Yoko Kanno BGMs to Creed. How’s that?” Mr. Lee concurs. “And our music has more instances of the Golden Ratio, so don’t even try”

In related news, graduate students and faculty from MIT found Japanese animation superior as well.

Roke · Post by **Roke** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 12:49 am

What the fuck.

Neither of them are good.

the Black Monarch · Post by **the Black Monarch** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 1:19 pm

Roke wrote:Neither of them are good.

Incorrect. Pop has been clinically proven to trigger the release of antidisestablishmentarianides in the brain more than any other form of music in existence, which, in turn, improves mood and shortens post-surgical recovery periods. [/smackdown]

Savia · Post by **Savia** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 2:08 pm

Especially the bit about the Golden Ratio, because it's true that mathematical types (*tries to sound like that's not me) always makes something of it.

Tab. · Post by **Tab.** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 2:25 pm

Roke · Post by **Roke** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 2:52 pm

the Black Monarch wrote:
Roke wrote:Neither of them are good.
Incorrect. Pop has been clinically proven to trigger the release of antidisestablishmentarianides in the brain more than any other form of music in existence, which, in turn, improves mood and shortens post-surgical recovery periods. [/smackdown]

Well then why the fuck does it make me feel worse? /ihatethesefucking/postsbullshitthingsthatonlymakeyoulooklikeanarrogantjerk

danielwang · Post by **danielwang** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 5:48 pm

Savia wrote: Especially the bit about the Golden Ratio, because it's true that mathematical types (*tries to sound like that's not me) always makes something of it.

Yeah, it's used in Roman architecture a lot. There was a recent study that found faces containing symmetry and the Golden Mean to be more beautiful or something like that - a study about average eye and face geometry.

It also seems to close to Japanese/European legal size rule (1:1.65), as compared to American rule (8.5:11, 8.5:15).

By the way, phi is actually 1+(5^(1/2))/2.

Kill_You · Post by **Kill_You** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 8:14 pm

@_@ I need a drink.

kthulhu · Post by **kthulhu** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 8:19 pm

Yes, it certainly was dumb, but I don't think it counts as engineering humor.

Lyrs · Post by **Lyrs** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 9:59 pm

I'm wondering if you typed that up or if you plagarized...

/end