Relationships and Age Differences

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Aussie_angel5
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Post by Aussie_angel5 » Wed Apr 28, 2004 2:14 am

Excalibur00 wrote:
That almst sound lke a complete defile of nature. Men are not suppose to bear children. It's a law of nature that females r the mothers of children not the men. Doing so other wise would be as wrong as cloning.
To this I gotta say -
Female - Mother
Male - Father
Just because the male had the child, doesn't make him the mother. The father just had the child instead.

Although I do agree with you that it's against nature, though I honestly don't care.

NineBirds
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Post by NineBirds » Wed Apr 28, 2004 6:43 am

Erm, male pregnancy is complete bullshit. The site is fake. Read here if you don't believe me.

Age of consent around the world.

The problem with differences in ages between two partners is not so much physical maturity (though this plays a role depending how far along each partner is in puberty), but mental. The vast majority of teenagers, especially younger ones, do not have the mental maturity for a romantic relationship with an adult, much less a sexual one. There is a huge difference between a 15 and a 25 year old that isn't so much there between a 25 and 35-year old or a 35 and 45-year-old. Hell, there's a huge difference between a 12 and 16-year-old or a 14 and 18-year-old that you won't find in relationships where both partners are older. The immature status of the younger person makes them all-too-open for manipulation and power games by the older one. By nature the relationship will hardly ever be equal and is therefore considered unethical.

As a previous poster said, just because something is or used to be custom does not make it right. Before the early 20th century people considered children to be miniature adults. Therefore they saw nothing wrong with marrying kids off early--they didn't realize that physical and mental maturity did not coincide. Further study into psychological development has proven this to be the case, and so laws changed as we learned.

It was said as a joke, but do keep in mind that menstruation does not necessarily mean the girl is physically developed enough for sex and pregnancy. Her body is still growing, her sex organs still developing, her pelvis still moving into the proper shape. After all, some eight-year-olds menstruate--this doesn't mean they're ready to bear children.
Rorschach wrote:The modern women's lib movement brought us the gender wars, abortion-on-demand, man-hating stereotypes, and insane arguments over pronoun antecedents and "sexist" language.
Something to keep in mind is that what you consider to be the "modern women's lib movement" is neither women's lib nor feminism, but reactionary sexism. Feminists by definition believe in equality of the sexes, pure and simple. Women who hate men are not feminists, they are misanders.
Rorschach wrote:My point is that some of the very people who preach women's empowerment are the ones trying to take women's freedoms away. Those who accuse me of being hateful are themselves hateful and vicious, as your ranting amply demonstrates.
Err, what about that quote was vicious again? Anyway, exactly what freedoms are your so-called female empowerers taking away? The freedom to be discriminated against and regulated to housewifery? I'm confused. The feminist movement gave women the ability to choose between home or work or a balance of the two (though there's still some work to be done in eliminating gender roles). If freedom isn't the right to choose, then how do you define freedom?
Rorschach wrote:You were just too blind with irrational hatred to see my description through your own ranting.
Hmm, I guess I was too 'cause I didn't see anymore coherency than Madbunny did. So could you elaborate a bit more for all us stupid and blind ones?
Rorschach wrote:And no, sex is not just mechanics, although I definitely agree that pornography is.
Pornography is the depiction of sex. You call pornography mechanics, but not sex? Whaa? Again, explanation needed. Sex is the act of parts of people grinding together. Anything more than that is dependent on the relationship of the participants.
Rorschach wrote:What I'm mainly talking about is how pornography reduced sex to mechanics, taught men that women are just automatic teller machines with three slots where they can deposit their sperm, and taught women that men are just a bunch of walking prongs.
Really? It did? Where? Because my friends who've watched pornography, they totally don't see women or men that way at all.

The view of pornography objectifying/subjugating women has evolved. People have recognized that a woman (or a man) can choose to be sexually active in front of a camera without it being exploitation, and that watching pornography does not equate an opinion than women/men are meat. Yes, pornography, like everything else, is only poisonous dependent on the dose. It can be a part of a healthy sex life!

Right now the argument is over whether pornography degrades the participants. In my opinion, that's really dependent on the type of porn.
Rorschach wrote:By the way, wrong era, pal. The Puritans were actually rather progressive for their time.
I suppose you're referring to recent scholarly assertions of Puritan sexual openness? You're misinterpreting. Not being uptight about sex does not equate gender equality. They still maintained a strict patriarchal structure. Women were expected to fully submit to their husbands. Blurb on Puritanism.
Rorschach wrote:If freedom is the ability to do what you want to do, then surely it is also the ability to refuse to do what you don't want to do, don't you think? In any case, a Japanese woman can also seek a career in the office or give it the go-by; either way, no one will castigate her for her decision. That's social freedom in addition to legal freedom, something I wish we had more of here.
Rorschach wrote:I was thinking more of girls like Makino Tsukushi from Hana Yori Dango: well-raised, decent, and hard-working, but also unabashedly feminine, like the girls we used to have in America back before women's lib and the pornographers took over.
I'm totally going to ignore the all-too-common insanity of Japanophiles basing their concepts of ideal women or men (or what Japanese women or men are really like) on characters from manga or anime. But your wacky ideas about the freedom of Japanese women really have to be addressed.

Let's get this straight. Japan is a first-world economy with third-world ideas when it comes to gender equality. At UN prodding they've been attempting to make some headway, but the patriarchy is so deeply ingrained into the heirarchal social structure that it will be a long, long time coming before Japanese women come close to the social equality of their American counterparts.

Some links for you to peruse:
Asian Human Rights Commission Report
Summary of ICFTU Report
Paper Addressing the Equal Employment Opportunity Law in 1986
Concluding Observations of the [UN]Committee on Economic, Social, and Cultural Rights: Japan (2001)
U.N. Wire Summary
CEDAW Fifth Period report on Japan (2002)
Human Rights Watch 2002 World Report: Asia
Human Rights Watch 2001 World Report: Asia

Women are relegated to non-promotion-track, secretarial jobs. Nearly all of these types of jobs are filled by women, nearly all of promotion-track, managerial jobs are filled by men. When women are placed in the same promotion-track as men they are paid less, allowed less input, are not given the same amount leadership, and are expected to defer to their male colleagues. Getting on this promotional track is hard enough. Getting anywhere near the board room is virtually impossible. Political participation is, of course, abysmally low.

In the home women gender roles still rule. Women are expected to perform all homemaking duties even if they have a job. If it wasn't already impossible to advance in the workplace because of workplace discrimination, strict expectactions for them to fulfill housewife duties prevent them from devoting time to their career.

In school girls are trained to become housewives--the focus is on home economics, sewing, etc. Boys are trained in math, science, and job-oriented programs.

Sexual harassment and violence is rampant. In the workplace, in school, on trains, at home--women are discouraged from reporting, and when they do rape/sexual abuse laws make it quite easy for the prosecution to turn the trial into a "he said, she said" argument, even when there is overwhelming physical evidence that the act was forced. The defendant simply claims she wanted it rough. Reproductive rights barely exist. Divorce laws allow a divorced Japanese man to remarry immediately while a woman must wait six months.

Japan has still not provided compensation to the "comfort women" (i.e. sex slaves) it forced into service during World War II, nor significantly cut down on sex trafficking, prostitution, or child pornography.

Your Japanese ideal is created through a patriarchal, domineering society that practices systematic discrimination and repression of those members lowest on its social heirarchy. That's the kind of woman you're looking for?

As for the tentacle-monster-schoolgirl fetish--while the expectation of the mother to be a domineering influence in her son's life plays a role, you cannot underestimate the influence of Victorian Western civilization and the effect it had on Japanese pornography laws. It's a long story, but in summary the laws created by the ultra-conservative backlash in response to the Westernization of Japanese culture in the late 1800s led to fetishization of pubic-hairless women, leading to fetishization of naturally pubic-hairless pre-pubescent girls. Tentacles come in 'cause it was illegal to depicts penes, but it wasn't illegal to draw other things entering the vagina--like baseball bats or pipes or bottles or tentacles. The end result is a culture that is one of the most sexually repressed and sexually depraved on the planet.


(Heh, is your username and your opinions about "screeching feminist harpies" purely coincidental?)
Don't you hate it when people describe something as "cute" when they really mean "God, I want to fuck that"?

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J-0080
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Post by J-0080 » Wed Apr 28, 2004 7:18 am

NineBirds wrote: The immature status of the younger person makes them all-too-open for manipulation and power games by the older one. By nature the relationship will hardly ever be equal and is therefore considered unethical.
Wanted to note that just because someone is younger, that doesn't just mean that they'll be the less mature one.
NineBirds wrote:Age of consent around the world
OMG Omad has none. *moves*

:roll:
paizuri wrote:There's also no need for introductions because we're generally a friendly bunch and will welcome you with wide open arms anyway.

NineBirds
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Post by NineBirds » Wed Apr 28, 2004 11:57 am

Wanted to note that just because someone is younger, that doesn't just mean that they'll be the less mature one.
Of course, but laws are tailored to the generalities, not the exceptions.
Don't you hate it when people describe something as "cute" when they really mean "God, I want to fuck that"?

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koronoru
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Post by koronoru » Wed Apr 28, 2004 12:46 pm

NineBirds wrote:
Wanted to note that just because someone is younger, that doesn't just mean that they'll be the less mature one.
Of course, but laws are tailored to the generalities, not the exceptions.
You are very close to using the same arguments that were used to justify slavery. Of course the age of consent is comepletely different, and shame on me for using such a tactic.

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madbunny
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Post by madbunny » Wed Apr 28, 2004 1:03 pm

ninebirds wrote:stuff, and lots of if
Thanks for that list of links, it's been a while since I've read any of the human rights commision reports, and those were mainly on Africa.
Always an eye opener, they are.
Build a man a fire, and he will be warm for a night. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Kitstune3
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I'm new to the arguement

Post by Kitstune3 » Wed Apr 28, 2004 1:04 pm

I don't think Age Matters unless it is like 12 and 16 or wider. :?
The gap could grow if the people get older. Like a 12 year old shoulden't date a 16 year old but a 20 year old could date a 29 wear old. Feel me?

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Nestorath69
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Post by Nestorath69 » Wed Apr 28, 2004 5:01 pm

Rorsharch wrote:
What I'm mainly talking about is how pornography reduced sex to mechanics, taught men that women are just automatic teller machines with three slots where they can deposit their sperm, and taught women that men are just a bunch of walking prongs.

That's funny! :lol: Some of the women I sleep with on a regular basis have bigger porn collections than I do! :lol: :lol: :lol:
And the fact that while I was engaged- me and my fiancee would go look at pornographic movies together...

In my book, that makes me believe that you really don't know just what the FUCK you're talking about. I'm also gonna go out on a limb and assume that you're a virgin with a decent intelligence. Enough intelligence to absorb a potentially controversial subject, but without the sexual experience to know the real story.

Try living in the real world, buddy. All the books say Win95 OSR2 supports USB, but you'll never get it to work in reality.

Funny, huh?[/b]
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koronoru
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Re: I'm new to the arguement

Post by koronoru » Wed Apr 28, 2004 5:29 pm

Kitstune3 wrote:I don't think Age Matters unless it is like 12 and 16 or wider. :?
The trouble with statements like that is that we'd all like to say much the same thing - "An age gap is no problem unless it's so big as to be OBVIOUSLY EVIL AND WRONG." The trouble is, your idea of what's OBVIOUSLY EVIL AND WRONG may be totally different from my idea of what's OBVIOUSLY EVIL AND WRONG, and there's no OBVIOUSLY GOOD AND RIGHT way that we can determine whose idea should win.

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Rorschach
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Post by Rorschach » Wed Apr 28, 2004 5:33 pm

NineBirds wrote: Something to keep in mind is that what you consider to be the "modern women's lib movement" is neither women's lib nor feminism, but reactionary sexism. Feminists by definition believe in equality of the sexes, pure and simple. Women who hate men are not feminists, they are misanders.
Glad to see you make some distinctions. Not everyone does, unfortunately.
As usual, the problem lies in the difference between mere names and actual practices. The self-proclaimed "feminist" movement of today is rather different from the feminists of, say, 1900, which is why I used the older name "suffragette" to refer to them.
NineBirds wrote: Err, what about that quote was vicious again? Anyway, exactly what freedoms are your so-called female empowerers taking away? The freedom to be discriminated against and regulated to housewifery? I'm confused. The feminist movement gave women the ability to choose between home or work or a balance of the two (though there's still some work to be done in eliminating gender roles). If freedom isn't the right to choose, then how do you define freedom?
Depends which quote you're asking about. The one fellow accused me of being some kind of knuckle-dragging Puritan, and then launched into an attack on my opinion of pornographers that made me sound like I was taking a women's lib line. Uh... am I the only one who doesn't follow the "logic" here? In any case, it was an ad hominem attack.

Then, MadBunny had to jump in and start ranting about how I must be a troll for answering this attack. His particular line was a guilt-by-association ad hominem: "Oh, you're one of those people!" (In this case, the association was with Rush Limbaugh, and the claim was apparently that on the basis of this imagined association, no one should listen to me.) Well, two things about that:

A. I've only heard Rush Limbaugh about two times in my whole life. I don't watch TV or listen to talk radio.

B. Everybody's arguments should be judged on their own merits. Rush Limbaugh may or may not be reasonable. The same goes for me.

As for what freedoms feminism has tried to suppress, you mention one of their obnoxious utopian schemes yourself, as if it were laudible: "eliminating gender roles." Feminists don't want boys to act like boys, or girls to act like girls. Anyone who does is cruelly ostracized and punished wherever feminists have power, such as in the public school system.

Moreover, no, feminism has not "given women a choice" about work! It has done its worst to regulate them into the office, and demonized any who refuse to go. Freedom to choose between these occupations has only come where feminism is beginning to recede.
NineBirds wrote: Hmm, I guess I was too 'cause I didn't see anymore coherency than Madbunny did. So could you elaborate a bit more for all us stupid and blind ones?
Nice one, Ninebirds. I guess you're into guilt-by-association tactics, too: "Anything you say against him, you say against all of us!"

Concerning my arguments, well, let me give you a little refresher concerning what I said of modern feminism (a.k.a. women's lib). According to women's lib:

Raising children is not "real" work; if a woman stays home instead of pursuing an office career, she's a parasite; women who don't work in the office should be castigated.

That's only one subject feminist discussion covers, but it is basically the relevant part of the modern feminist philosophy.
NineBirds wrote: Pornography is the depiction of sex. You call pornography mechanics, but not sex? Whaa? Again, explanation needed. Sex is the act of parts of people grinding together. Anything more than that is dependent on the relationship of the participants.
Glad you asked. Put simply, pornography portrays ONLY the physical act. The sex act itself is an act of the heart and mind as well as the body. Note that I say sex is not "just" mechanics; that is sex involves mechanics, but other things too. Since the camera can't capture the activities of the heart and mind, pornography is entirely mechanical.
NineBirds wrote: Really? It did? Where? Because my friends who've watched pornography, they totally don't see women or men that way at all.
That your friends resisted pornography's lessons does not absolve pornographers for teaching them, or others who do absorb the lessons. You must have a rather select group of friends, given how many guys I've heard bragging about their sexual exploits.
NineBirds wrote:The view of pornography objectifying/subjugating women has evolved. People have recognized that a woman (or a man) can choose to be sexually active in front of a camera without it being exploitation, and that watching pornography does not equate an opinion than women/men are meat. Yes, pornography, like everything else, is only poisonous dependent on the dose. It can be a part of a healthy sex life!
First, I should point out that it was my detractors who were doing most of the talking about pornography's effects on women. What little I said was on how it's degrading to everybody.

Second, as I've just said, that some people resist pornography's lessons does not excuse either the "teachers" or the "students" who do absorb the lessons.

Finally, I'm don't really see how watching someone else doing something can even begin to compare to doing it yourself, so I don't really see any way that pornography helps the sex life at all.
NineBirds wrote: Right now the argument is over whether pornography degrades the participants. In my opinion, that's really dependent on the type of porn.
Given that just about any kind of pornography tends to portray people as nothing but sex machines, it certainly degrades humanity, whatever one might think of what it does for the individual participants.
NineBirds wrote: I suppose you're referring to recent scholarly assertions of Puritan sexual openness? You're misinterpreting. Not being uptight about sex does not equate gender equality. They still maintained a strict patriarchal structure. Women were expected to fully submit to their husbands.
I'll grant this openness was not a full granting of equal rights. Still, it was a step in the right direction, given how women in Victorian society had been secluded and isolated during pregnancy, were not supposed to know much about sex, and were basically shamed for any sexual desire they might have. Liberation from that kind of thinking allowed people to start getting the idea that maybe women didn't need all this smothering protection and could take care of themselves.
NineBirds wrote: I'm totally going to ignore the all-too-common insanity of Japanophiles basing their concepts of ideal women or men (or what Japanese women or men are really like) on characters from manga or anime. But your wacky ideas about the freedom of Japanese women really have to be addressed.
Most people tend not to live up to ideal depictions, but am I to believe that what a culture portrays in its ideal characters has nothing to do with what it advocates as its moral objectives? The portrayal of slaves in Roman plays was hardly true to how those slaves actually lived either, but it did amount to a statement that masters should treat their slaves well, that slaves are humans too, etc. In any case, as I'll explain in a minute, my ideas are not "wacky" and they don't originally come from anime at all.
NineBirds wrote:Let's get this straight. Japan is a first-world economy with third-world ideas when it comes to gender equality. At UN prodding they've been attempting to make some headway, but the patriarchy is so deeply ingrained into the heirarchal social structure that it will be a long, long time coming before Japanese women come close to the social equality of their American counterparts.
I'll put it this way: the UN and its minions are hardly trustworthy sources for information, given their radically leftist and "feminist" biases. ("Feminist is in scare-quotes because I am referring to the modern women's libbers) I trust neither their data nor their commentary on that data.
NineBirds wrote:Your Japanese ideal is created through a patriarchal, domineering society that practices systematic discrimination and repression of those members lowest on its social heirarchy. That's the kind of woman you're looking for?
Again, your picture of Japan comes to you through the crooked glasses of the UN, an organization whose claims I do not trust. No, of course I don't want a caricature of a woman from some UN caricature of Japan! Don't assume that I agree with everything your favorite authorities say on anything. What I want, if I should ever bother to marry at all, is a woman who acts like a woman.

I notice you mention "reproductive rights," which pro-lifers like myself know to be a euphemism for abortion. While what I think of the "freedom" to murder an unborn child should be obvious, I find it a bit unlikely that women in Japan don't have this "freedom," given the number of idols to their murdered children dotting the landscape there.

You've given me a few interesting links to examine. In return, if you're wondering where I'm getting my ideas about Japan and feminism (which are apparently rather unfamiliar to you), you might look into a book by F. Carolyn Graglia called "Domestic Tranquility: A Brief Against Feminism," which has influenced my views quite a bit. It details, among other things, the philosophical arguments behind modern feminism, and how modern feminism is different from earlier forms of feminism.

I've also drawn certain conclusions from news stories that drift in from Japan from time to time, such as bits about Japanese men working themselves to death, and a story about how Japan's prostitution business is increasingly providing fantasy scenarios for its customers involving young schoolgirls. I've also read about these "home jobs" (I want one!) which are apparently something like telecommuting here in America. Real freedom for women brings freedom for men, too: it's not like we males all appreciate having to go to the office either, you know.
NineBirds wrote:(Heh, is your username and your opinions about "screeching feminist harpies" purely coincidental?)
Mostly coincidental. If you wonder about where I got my name, though, you can check out the lengthy self-description I provided in my profile.

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