My Stories

Veldrin · Post by **Veldrin** » Sat May 24, 2003 9:34 am

I can't say that I liked that story either, but it looks as though you do have good writing skills. Some parts of the story, though, could have been more descriptive. It was confusing. During the battle for instance I was un-aware that there was a second person until Sashin started fighting him. Mabye I missed something, i don't know. Also would it not make sense that if the two men aimed to kill Sashin that they would both attach at the same time? I would imagine that the first man, as he attacked, and missed, would be a decoy and the second man would punch Sashin in the back severing his spinal cord. Thats just how I would think it could have been becuase there were 2 men. Correct me if I am wrong on anything I have written.

AtomicWeezleman · Post by **AtomicWeezleman** » Sat May 24, 2003 2:33 pm

that story was really good.i enjoyed that, the story was well told, but how did a drunk escape an assasin??? maybe he wasnt drunk, but slightly inebriated, but still, hed have problem running from an assasin..........oh well, i enjoyed it anyway.......

yuppa · Post by **yuppa** » Sat May 24, 2003 3:26 pm

Ya did good man. I can tell you like ruroni kenshin,or rather samurai-X. You might want to consider sending a copy of this story to the producers of the show,and see if they like it for a idea. Also try to send it to some comic companies too,LIKE DREAMWAVE PRODUCTIONS, who do Shidima.It would make a good outline for a side-story of another manslayer who could have fought along side Buttosi,The manslayer in the revolution..

Savia · Post by **Savia** » Mon May 26, 2003 7:36 am

Thank all of you for your positive feedback, it's good to see that you like it. I'll try to answer all of your questions:

Veldrin: the disparate styles of the two is because the first (the one that Sashin hears coming) is not as skilled or professional as the second, who, to quote, "Sashin was surprised" to see. He just rushed in ahead of his teammate... Bad idea. Sashin- who eventually defeated his own master- is very skilled.

Atomic: Sashin is supposed to be inebriated, not drunk... a lot of his trauma is due to the cold and his internal struggles. The assassin doesn't catch him within the duration of the story- it is dark and the forest trackless and snow-covered, but after that... who can say? Sashin's eventual fate is left purposefully ambiguous.

Yuppa: The Kenshin inspiration is obvious

Batman 'Knightfall' and Love Hina (!) also have tiny references in there, for the observant. If you really think that this company of yours would be interested, then PM me with contacts.

Thanks again,

Savia.

yuppa · Post by **yuppa** » Tue May 27, 2003 4:49 am

Hey the company for the comics company is Dreamwaveproductions dot com. I think Gonzo Animation handles samurai x,bu ti don't have the link