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2004-01-28 21:34:51
I wrote song lyrics to my story, they're not bad but not professional, story was 19 pages long, I think Mr.Putnam is gonna hate me for making him read this... I better get an awsome grade though.
Moms acting weird, she's all I dont want you to get that job, just go to school. But I ask for supplies and its horrible. I neeed a jobn., to do well.
Night -
OKay its got its ups and downs...
2004-01-25 14:32:59
Um, well you see, I got an nterveiw at Mickey D's at4 on Thursday, and I put n my ap today so Im getting there, god I need this job, mom also said I can get a portable CD player, yeah your all like "woopdy do" but you see, Imay be 16, but Ive had one once and its broke now because i got mine eheen I was in Sixth grade, Hey Im writing a stupid story for english Ill post the first two paragraphs because i can, Ive got to get an ending to the damned thing.. buyt I like how its coming.
English Story
A Nights Tale
The days and nights are usually warm here and should they grow cold there is a fireplace to replace the lost heat. I like the heat, but it gets lonely in the apartment. I’ve grown used to the noise of home, but should the thought of going home even drift into my thoughts it’s immediately banished. Its pathetic how much I look up to my brother, Andrew, you cant tell by looking at him but he’s got it all planned out, not a step he takes hasn’t been foreseen by him at least a year ago. In a way I envy him, although I would never tell him that, he tells me freely though, that he envies me. I guess that’s because all I ever did was watch the fights, he was always in the middle. Looking back I realize how hard he tried to get recognized by Mom. He was always an A student and never did anything to get into trouble, a perfect angel, rejected none the less. I feel bad at times, being alone does that, it makes you think of all the things you could’ve done, maybe even should’ve, but never had the bravery to. I never wanted to get in the middle, the shouting unnerved me quite quickly and Andrew’s pleas to be heard were usually ended with a sharp “Go to bed!” and the slamming of the front door. Dad usually was the one to leave and that left him alone with Mom and her criticism.
You see, my brother literally wore a mask to hide himself from others in order to push them away. And even if you could talk to him despite the fact of his habits he’d usually just tell you to go away. He wore the gothic makeup and clothes, it drove mom up the wall, his only flaw and she exposed it like it caused every problem in the house. He always wore his hair long and would even at times leave the house in those skirts that they ware. He painted his nails and also wore those long. He was better groomed then most girls for the most part and was extremely thin. Mom tried to force feed him something once and he ran into the bathroom and coughed it all back up. He had his reasons though, his past was not one that he would tell anyone; he was hurt by someone as a child and carries the bruises still no longer trusting others to be around him.
He brought home Vincent from a concert of some band he liked a while ago. It was quite startling though because Vincent wasn’t just some kid moshing at the concert, he was actually the bassist in the band. I have no idea how that hook up started, Andrew said something about seat number and trouble at their hotel, but he really doesn’t talk long enough to get out the entire story. I was quite surprised when he allowed Vincent into his bedroom and no one said anything for fear of him pushing Vincent away too. For the most part he seems to cherish that friendship more then anything in his life, and that’s saying something and a half.
The charector Vincent belongs to my friend but the rest are mine. I barrowed him though.
^_^
I dunno its dumb but if I get a good grade Ill be happy. -
Amazing...
2004-01-20 22:38:00
Today, went awsome, I mean I about died today in Art History when my teacher told me my project was due today, I hadnt even stared it, so he moved me to Friday... I need to do that and get it finished tomarrow so I dont have to worry about it.
Other then that it was great, classes are classes but thats high school, I had midterms coming up and need to see when I need to be in school.
I went to Krissy's house today, called mine at 5:30 and said I needed a ride, my mom said no problem and I got home without being yelled at, turns out my moms sick as can be, but I took care of her for an hour then passed out. I woke up an hour ago to see someone bought me a 24 case of Pepsi.. you have no idea how much I've wanted Pepsi, but have been refusing every offer for it because of money, I really think mom's getting this second job, if she does she'll be working 9am-10pm but she worked harder with the daycare here and she really wants to do it, she'll be on comps from 9-1 and then a secretary fron 2-10, and she'll be bringing home a very nice paycheck. So I get Gravitation 4 when it comes out guarenteed ^_^V.
I bitched about Amanda today but I got that out and have no worries now. Only problem that remains in my life is getting the courage to call Micky D's and ask for and interveiw so I can work there..
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2004-01-19 20:56:17
My friend dropped out a while ago, her junior year. I think im disappointed now. She said she'd go for the GED, that she'd kill herself if she was in the school much longer. Not only did being out of school assist in the attempting of suicide but now it seems she just wants to live with her parents, she needs a job, but she doesnt want to be around people, shes happy spending all day on the computer and crying about how much her life sucks. Her lifes pretty good, I mean f she can do that. She's too attached but dont want to talk to anyone. I really dont care at this point of time if she reads this or not. Maybe she would yell at me and tell me how everything sucks so bad. Everyone has problems, but your arent overwhelming, your just making them out to be. I dunno, if anyone on this site is like that yell at me, tell me how much life sucks, how I have no idea what problems are, please Im willing to listen I really want to see this for real.Give me a veiw damnit! I want to know.
<p>Just tell me what it is that makes you life so not worth living? What is it that makes your life any less of an impact on peoples life in comparison to anyone else? What gives you the right to make your parnets and siblings cry? What makes it okay to worry your friends? And what is it that gives you the right to take a life?
<p> Beacsue thats what your doing. Thats what I see. And none ofthats a lie. Alright so one person dies. We all are sad and uypset, boohoo this persons dead. And okay you loved them.. and theres many other situations,.. but we'll stick with this one because its half of my friends problem... or a portion at least... anyways.. can you honestly tell me that you can love no one else? That his death will haunt you the REST of your life? That youll NEVER get over it? That you are the person that is hurt the most? I mean please. Im surprised she says hi to me at times. I dunno Im upset. I wish shed satrt doing something for her future and not mope in her house saying its all useless. I get mad at quitters, at the week, I mena in todays world we arent living in a third world country where your struggling to survive and theres no jobs and no food and no hope, we live in today and now, where you cna strive if you try and she drops everything and says "I give" . I think Im tired of it. -
Midnight...
2004-01-18 12:41:34
I got up at midnight, Im sick, I feel like ubber crap, my sister was on the comp, I was pissed, she was suppost to clean, she didn't Im sick and Im cleaning her mess, mom left with her boyfriend last night so I was stuck with her. I booted her and let out my frustrations on the movie maker.. thus I now have Gravtitaion "If your Gone" uploading. On a more positive note I drew this really pretty picture of a charector of mine, Nate, sleeping, I want to put it on my profile but I need to reinstal our scanner, the stupid peice of crap just decides on occation, and everyrtime the computer gets shut off to disconnect. So Im gonna do that now. I need to do homework after this too.. hehe, yeah that would be wise .. I think i have to present my project on Tuesday.. I havent even started it and i need to get slides made... I swear Art History makes me feel like Im outta high school.
>p>Speaking of I am happy for the dumbest of reasons.. Im going to summer school! Im taking classes there so I dont have to do them my snior year and i can take computer courses in BOCES, and computer 1 and 2, thats all computer programming, I was getting nervous being a junior and majoring in sciences, languages, and art and having no idea where i want to go. But I feel better now. I mean an occupation of being on the computer 40 hours a week, thats a dream to me, I dont care what Im doing if Im a comp its better. Well thats all for now.
JOURNAL: InweSilimaure (Katelynn Rumpf)
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