JOURNAL: grayplague (Steve )

  • here we go....... 2003-08-26 09:47:44 If I wanted to commit suicide, I would take the bus downtown, walk up to a street corner holder a pop-up book, and go "Hey look G! Ain't this pop-up book dope!" and then shoot myself.

    :P 
  • How many of you will look at this entry thinking... "What's he up to now?" 2003-08-25 23:57:50 man, you know i am :P

    i love your shit ^_^


    im out 
  • ouch 2003-08-23 00:53:23 if i wasn't so emotionally desensitized right now i would maybe be able to shed a tear 
  • lmfao 2003-08-22 17:21:06 i figured it out. i cant believe its this simple.

    I guess what they say can be true; that you are infact your own worst enemy. 
  • my personal, abridged version, of my thoughts on the amv community 2003-08-22 01:06:22 Why did I start making amv you ask?
    I'll admit it. I watched a couple and said "hey that looks cool! maybe i could make one!"

    My first 6-9 videos were made in short time spans and were only made because I was so fucking ignorant about the whole damn thing.

    In the beginning of 2001 however I realized there was more to it; that there were actually several others around the country/world that were spending good amounts of the free time making anime music videos. I realized there was actually a community for amvs. Shortly there after, in March, I discovered the Org while browser the web at school. I immediately joined, listed all my videos, typed out my profile (which has barely changed since), and vowed to myself that I will put more effort into my amvs than ever before. I was no longer making my videos for my friends to go "oh that kicks ass" anymore. I saw that there were others that shared my view of amvs, and I wanted my voice (my videos) to be heard.

    I wanted others to see what I saw in an anime. I wanted them to feel the emotional connection that I illustrate through the video. I wanted them to view the anime from anothers light, to reveal something more.

    I started making the amvs with more effort than before. I was making the videos for others so that they can see what i see.

    My videos became an outlet for my emotions.

    I reached the pinnacle of my amv making in mid 2002, around April to July. I still strongly feel that my Distant Skies video is the best work that I have created; regardless to what others feel. It affects me more any of my other videos. I've never been able to explain as to why; lets just say it has something to do with the lyric "If your afraid to die, then you better not be afraid to live" which is in a different song by the Eels.

    I threw out my 3 best videos (in my opinion) during that summer. I unknowingly burnt myself out. I started created garbage and by the time 2003 rolled around, I had no active projects and was not in any situation to want to make a video.


    Now the reason I just explained my rise and fall, if you will, in the world of amvs is because I think every serious creator needs to look back and find the reason they started to created these works of art. I never made videos for myself directly, but instead in means to create an outlet for my emotions. Im sure everyone's reason is different in some way.

    I, even now, after being gone from amv making for so long, have not given up on it. Unlike how some banners on this site say, it is not a way of life, just a mere hobby, and I think people need to remember this.

    Just ask yourself why you are making amvs.

    If you cant give yourself a solid answer, then theres no point in reasoning it to yourself. If your not making them for others, or not for yourself, then why if there even a need to put them up on this site for others to download.

    If your just making them to use up your free time and because you think its fun, why waste this site's web space and bandwidth so other people can see your garbage, no matter how good it is.

    Like many have said, the amv community has been utterly destroyed. The clutter of such garbage being available at people's fingertips has made this site nothing more than an alternative to Kazaa or winMX.

    ***If it were up to me, I would eliminate all local hosting. Kill that motherfucking donut. It's caused nothing but trouble.***

    If you seriously make amvs for others to see them, then you should be willing to fork out the cash to get your own website up and running.


    Now whats my point in all this? Simple. The ability to locally host videos here, for FREE, has made this site nothing more than downloadable archive of videos. No longer is it a place for creators to converse, give advice, and share ideas.

    The free hosting is like free candy in a supermarket; its just too tempting to let it pass you by. So now this site, no longer a meeting grounds for creators, has been cluttered with mindless fools with no objective more than to get there hands on this free candy.

    I would tell everyone to just ignore the amv community and stick with the individual connections you got within it but thats too hard to do.

    idk. fuck it. too many god damn idiots.
    (yes, this was abridged :P ...I could go on for hours if someone wanted to listen ^_^ ) 
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