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Of all the dreams to have...
2001-10-09 11:59:29
I had to have one about being in a car wreak. You have no idea. It was unreal. I was truly and genuinely scared in my dream. Then later, I started CRYING. I can remember what I said when I started.
"You dont understand! I disappointed people! I disappointed my mom, my dad, my friends who trust me to drive with them in the car. I let them all down!"
*shudder* And now you know how I am constantly in real life. Im afraid to let anyone down. Afraid that theyll be disappointed in me again. It constantly frightens me into doing schoolwork, homework, being responsible when I should be enjoying myself...*sobs* ..i dont want to be like this... it requires perfection from me...i dont want it... -
Ah, nostalgia...
2001-10-09 03:09:28
Went to A Fan's View and looked at the pictures from AnimeExpo 2001... Ah, nostalgia. *sniff, tear* I remembered seeing so many of those people, and I really wish I had talked to more of them. Of course, looking at Fans View got me to dig out MY pictures from AX2001.
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/FiriaUlCopt/Convention/
*sniff* Such nostalgia.. I think Im going to cry...
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Actually...
2001-10-08 16:41:01
I never did get around to writing an angsty scene in my Inu-Yasha fanfiction, but I DID finish the fight scene thats been looming over me for months. Well, I finished it to a degree. Can we say rough draft? We can? VERY good children...-.-;;
On the offhand, my mailing list "The Dragon and the Demon" (Slayers fans who support Xelloss/Filia), has been talking about hentai fairies and its very alarming. Id tell them to stop, but the point is pretty moot. Theyre not causing a ruckus, theyre not being disgusting or over the rating of PG-13. And they would probably not listen to me anyway. *laugh* Even if I am moderator. Fans who like X/F tend to pick up their qualities... Stubborness, the ability to annoy those they choose, etc. etc. et. al. *chuckle* Ah well...
Im sitting here listening to an odd mix of songs.
Bjork - Bachelorette
Barenaked Ladies - One Week
Madonna - Don't Tell Me
Sugar Ray - When Its Over
Record of Lodoss - Barefeet of Light
Inu-Yasha - Dearest (Ending 3)
Tangerine Dream - Is your love strong enough? (from the movie Legend)
...I am so weird...
I still need an inkpad...
I still need to read my book report book...
I still need to write the next 'report' thing for family history...
And I have 20 pages of family history photo album I need to work on. >.<
Dammit. Procrastination is great.
Currently working on a website layout. Bwahaha...Beware. Its bright green and yellow... -
Very tired...
2001-10-08 01:21:21
I know. Thats a stupid statement. After all, if Im tired, I can just go to sleep. The truth is, this is the first time Ive closed Adobe Premiere 6 (even though I worked in it once maybe in the past three days). This is the first time Ive had enough memory to work internet explorer and winamp. And I suddenly realized how much I missed my Kagome/Inu-Yasha (very pink) winamp skin. Its all pretty with a pink background and cherry blossoms as buttons. ^^; I know its sad, but I have a certain attachment to it since (even with a skinner) it took me a week to finish. *cough*skinnermessedupplaylistskin*cough* Im thinking I should start another one as soon as I finish that Miroku t-shirt...
Both of my videos are on hold until I have schoolwork I need to procrastinate on. -.-; Please dont torture me about it... Gee, why would anyone do that? >.< Everyone is sooo busy with their lives that they dont have time to comment on my videos. Cant even get a critique that someone writes over a period of time. Geez people. Why do I even bother when I dont know if people are SEEING it? >.<
Now I feel depressed. Ugh.
Im gonna go write some kinda very angsty scene into my Inu-Yasha fanfiction. >.< -
The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead....
2001-10-07 19:12:10
I rented some anime last night. The first tape of Trigun (family owns 2-7) and the first tape of Serial Experiments Lain... Lain is some freaky shit... It didnt help that I was practically brain dead/exhausted while I was watching it. Trying to figure it out wore me down even further.
Ive been drawing severly ansty things. Lessee... Couple of pictures of Vash crying, couple of pictures of Inu-Yasha crying/looking sad, and one of Kagome crying. Maybe I DO need anti-depressants... After I got done watching Lain, I drew this really weird sketchy face study of Lain. She looks like she's drugged or something. I might scan it in and post it on FanQuarter (elfwood: http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se ) later. I have a bunch of Slayers/Legend of Arthur crossover pictures up there right now that no one gave a shit about when they were up at my main gallery. I sense deletion. Mostly because I dont care about them anymore...
I think my drawing style is going through metamorphosis again... Either that or Ive gotten worse and cant see it...
Called my friend. Told her to come over and watch Trigun with me. Called just a minute ago to find that she was waiting for her parents to come home so she could drive over. As soon as her p-rents walked through the door they yelled at her for forgetting to do some kinda chore. I mean, screaming. Bastards. It was an honest mistake, I forget to do things all the time. Hell, unless I have a shopping list I forget what Im going to buy when I go shopping for groceries! >.< Grr.. I hate Val-chan's parents... They understand nothing and dont bother to try and understand.
After writing this entry... I think Im more awake than I was. I might see if I can drive over to Val-chan's if she doesnt get here/call here in about five/ten minutes... Go and drag her away from hell, sit her in front of the TV and pop in Trigun tapes...
JOURNAL: D. Shimare (Dralore Shimare)
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