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almost forgot.....
2004-10-11 20:22:10
i forgot to mention....i updated my profile(but not the picture yet) if you wanna check it.....and i've got a second vid working right now set to "Pain" by jimmy eat world.....dont expect anything before thanksgivng.....or christmas for that matter.....
-Later
Doc
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Have you visited the graveyard have you swam with the ship?
2004-10-11 18:35:30
Meaningless question that i shamelessly gleamed from a pennywise song. But that probably matters nil to you. I've finally gotten down the motions for the rainbow deke, and used it pretty well. I'm not saying that i can just do it everytime i try, in fact i can hardly get it most times, but like most things, as soon as you do it the first time, it should get easier. For those of you who dont know, i'm a soccer player, and the "rainbow deke"is when you rainbow kick the ball with enough spin so that hops over your body, dropping just in front of you on your way by a defender. Its extremely useful, especially when you strike the ball before it even touches the ground and score. of course, itd be just my luck that i do it while me and my brother are practicing, so "score" refers to the fact that i shot it accurately enough from 20 yards out to put it into the goal. Especially since the goal we use is a lot smaller than regulation. And dont get it in your head that my brother sucks at soccer. Hes only in seventh grade and hes better than half of My schools JV team, so hes gonna be really good by the time he gets up to my level. By the time hes a freshman he should be as good as i am now. Figures i picked this past summer to be the one where i worked my ass off to get better at soccer.(Those of you that i know and talk to know what i'm talkng about) My luck is the worst of all. Lot of problems recently. Such as my newest potential girlfriend, who got shyed away because an "acquaintance"(person that i know of but dont really know) of mine told her all sorts of bad stuff about me. It was mostly just true stuff that got told in a manner that sounded bad, or was otherwise altered to fit into whatever they were scheming, and it worked. she refuses to speak to me now, so i'm remaining single. When you finally decide that your tired of a life of one night stands, and this happens, you take it as a sign. On that note, i'm back to meaningless sex with people as opposed to emotional attatchment. my advice.....try not to do it. it sucks. it gets old. You feel empty. just trust me on it. Ta ta for now!
-Later
Doc
"I don't feel the way I've ever felt.
I know.
I'm gonna smile and not get worried.
I try but it shows.
Anyone can make what I have built.
And better now
Anyone can find the same white pills.
It takes my pain away.
It's a lie. A kiss with opened eyes.
And she's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Nevermind these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me.
I never thought I'd walk away from you.
I did.
But it's a false sense of accomplishment.
Everytime time I quit
Anyone can see my every flaw.
It isn't hard.
Anyone can say they're above this all.
It takes my pain away.
It's a lie. A kiss with opened eyes.
And she's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Nevermind these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me.
[Guitar Bridge]
I can't let it bother me.
[Guitar Solo]
It takes my pain away.
It's a lie. A kiss with opened eyes.
And she's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Nevermind these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me."
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Before i forget....
2004-10-09 22:15:57
Hey matt......nice pants......moving right along......
I think i should put a new pic of me up. The current one has really shitty resolution. You can hardly get a good look at my face, and i'm looking at the camera, but from a bad perspective....i cant believe i picked that one in the first place......i'm losing my photo abilities. The next one will probably be a full body shot, so i can show off my hot body i got from doing roofing......XD....anyway....
So i've got nothing to do this weekend....a three day weekend and i'm not doing anything.....i feel so....useless. I applied for a job today, since i'm out of work for teh season(you cant build roofs when its snowing) so i gotta go find some other job...and take a huge pay cut too. Minimum wage is 5.50 or something like that. I make 10. Thats roughly half my pay. It sucks. If i didnt need to do this i wouldnt, but like i said, i'm out of work for the season. I hate this. But you gotta do what you gotta do....i just hope i can find a good paying manual labor job when i go to college. Manual labor has to be the best work out there. it pays really good, and its like getting a paycheck to work out. Instead of paying for a membership at the gym, they pay you...its all i could ask for in life...lmao. But, all job talk aside....
i really dont have much else to say, no achivements, no emotional distresses, (at the moment...at this rate i wont be single much longer.....thats right...i'm breaking)but i promise to keep you all in the know
-Later
Doc
"late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
red light, can't stop so i spin the wheel
my world goes black before i feel an angel lift me up
and i open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white
they flip the siren, hit the lights, close the doors and i am gone
now i lay here owing my life to a stranger
and i realize that empty words are not enough
i'm left here with the question of just
what have i to show except the promises i never kept?
i lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets
[Chorus:]
i hope that i will never let you down
i know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound
look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares
it gets me down but i'm still gonna try to do what's right, i know that there's
a difference between sleight of hand, and giving everything you have
there's a line drawn in the sand, i'm working up the will to cross it and
[Chorus]
rhetoric can't raise the dead
i'm sick of always talking when there's no change
rhetoric can't raise the dead
i'm sick of empty words, let's lead and not follow
late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
red light, can't stop so i spin the wheel
my world goes black before i feel an angel steal me from the
greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands
they've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance
[Chorus]
can we pick you off the ground, more than flashing lights and sound"
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OH MY GOD I SUCK AT SOCCER!!!!!
2004-10-09 11:52:19
WE WERE PLAYING SOCCER IN GYM CLASS AND I COULDNT KICK THE BALL IN A STRAIGHT LINE!!!! OR WITH THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF POWER!!!!!!! AND I FELL DOWN WHILE DOING MY SPIN DEKE!!!!!! 3 DAYS IN A ROW!!!!!!!!! I think i'm losing it. Being sick has attributed to my sudden drop in performance, but sweet jesus not this much! Jeremy even got an ole on me. (Spanish word....pronounced olay......its when you put the ball between someones legs to get it by them........also called a meg) I'VE NEVER BEEN OLE'D IN MY LIFE!!!!! It was so dissapointing.coach Below was like..."Murdoc, what the hell happened to you buddy!" and i told him to tell the team to stay in soccer, or else they'll end up like that, ad we started laughing. I hope it just blows over. I've hit a slump in a lot of sports. In hockey i've had trouble keeping my backhand below th crossbar. i hit the f***ing bar 8 times in one game, and only got one goal. I suppose i'll just have to work harder to get back up to my skill level. Thats all for now.
BTW.....good job on the goal Miaka! After you get the first they keep getting easier...trust me
-Later
Doc
"Why the hell are there babies hanging from the walls?"-me
"Its a marching band thing."-will
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!"-ME
(Me commenting on the baby dolls hanging by nooses from the walls in the band room) -
God hates me
2004-10-04 17:53:36
Seriously. Hes beating me with a metal pole right now. Vicariously through somebody else, mind you. God seems to be good at getting other people to do his dirty work. Dont beleive me? It was called a crusade, back in the day. millions of people dying all because god said it was a good idea. Fucking asshole. Ranting and religious motives aside.......
So i ran lines for the team last friday. (If you dont know what running lines is, or what team i'm talking about, then you should do some back searching, i'm not nice enough to re-explain myself) And i think that i was a major reason that the team only lost 4-0. let me explain.......Our midfielders dont come back to play defense, which lets their midis jump up on the play and crash our box wth bending and diagonal runs. if it wasnt for me calling out to the defense, they wouldnt have marked the runner and stopped at least 20 crosses that could have led to goals. i was proud. So was coach and the team, as they later told me. the players thanked me for helping them, and coach said he really wished i was stil playing so we could have more size, speed, and skill from the offense. I said i'd been dying to play, but the head soccer guy wont let me. Cause hes an asshole. I hope he dies. Unfortunately coach lawrence cant just draft kids, or i'd have an easy ride onto the staring line up. After all the work i did over the summer, and playing against our team and others, its become quite apparent that if i dont score in a game, it would be considered a disappointment. Coach seconded this. i feel so needed, yet so unwanted at the same time. A very awkward feeling. My friend Jeremy, whos pretty much been the god of our soccer program for 2 years, said that he could tell i got better cause i was able to beat him consistently throughout this one game. If only Sarkozy liked me................but for another day.
-Later
Doc
Me-"6+4 is 10."
My math teacher-"No it isnt."
Me-"What the hell are you smoking?!?!"
(Trig class this morning)
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