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wow! a whole post and she never said the "L" word. not even once! wow!
2002-03-29 23:40:39
he he he...
I had a great day today. i got to spend time with my best friend Kat, who i hadn't really talke dto in a while. we went to Jim's and ate and talked. filled each other in on all we've been missing. she's still my best friend. no matter how little time we spend together.
i declined her offer to spend the night, i have to work in the afternoon so it'd be okay. I kinda wanted to stay up all night and sharing evrything i had been thinking all week with her, but i decided not to. I'd prolly just repeat myself a million times anyhow. he hee..
but she called Charlie (the emergency penis in glass -_^) and he came and hung out with us... damn that sounded dirty... and we just talked about stuff and things and all the good times we missed, but everything we looked forward to in life. and she told me "if you come be my maid of honor in Hawaii, i'll be yours in Greece!" she's cool like that. best friends always understand how you're feeling and even she could see that it was written all over my face.... yeah....
***getting harder to not say IT***
so we talked about our dreams and what we both wanted from a guy. and she showed me her new house she's getting w/ her roomies. and we boths shared what we want in our "dream house". You know that one: If i could afford to design and build my own house...
for me it's pretty simple:
picture any two-story shape (i still can't pick one) and hollow out the center. now install a walkway from one end to the other, and a small garden enclosed by the walls of the house. a garden inside/but outside. so now on the second story we have a balcony from the master bedroom that overlooks the garden. still all enclosed by the home, but open to the night air. I'd enjoy that.
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AMV stuff: yeah i'm still doing that too. believe it or not, i am working on ANOTHER mv. i am making a Bloodlust MV that will embody all that i feel. i am putting every emotion and desire i have into that MV. and if you don't feel that when it's done, then i have failed as an artist. ^-^ so here's hoping you all do!
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note to creators who feel in the slump: i will wave my magic wand and grant you the power to create! ***twinkle twinkle*** damn... it's broken. well, i'll just give advice: if you want to recreate life and all it's pain and joy. you must first live it. i've never heard of a decent artist who created in an empty box. so go live! and then come back to us and share what you have learned. ^o^
- i love id 2002-03-29 01:48:49 live with it.
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you're in love, taht's the way it should be, and i want you to be happy, you're in love but your not in love with me....
2002-03-29 01:40:35
if you never let her fly
you should cut her wings
let her bleed to death
and die at your hands.
if you never let her go
she'll cut her own
and crawl away.
i'd rather drag myself bleeding
than take this pain
i'd rather die of a broken heart
than hear those words again.
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love is just a fairytale to some
a dream that hangs just beyond their grasp
an ever looming starlight, taunting...
But i know that you can reach it,
if you just stretch a second longer,
if you would resist the urge to pull back,
squelch that nagging voice that discourages you,
and just reach.
reach out
reach forever
and someday you will connect. -
Jury Duty, Schmury Duty... Where's my check?!
2002-03-27 16:00:15
oday i redeemed my "get out of work free" card and went to Jury Duty. I was dreading this day all week because of all the horror stories i'd heard but it actually turned out great.
1. No work.
2. i get still paid by my employer for 8 hours of work.
3. i get paid an extra $6 by uncle sam.
4. i was only there for 2 1/2 hours because they only needed 20 jurors for this week.
yeahhhh... today was a pretty sweet day. only one thing can make it any better. and he knows who he is. -_^
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as for the rest of my day: i entered Otaku Productions' logo contest today since i had all the time in the world to kill on my computer. I just hope it hasn't ended yet. then i got started on my Bloodlust MV, "Immortal Love". so far everything is flowing like butter... uhhh, smooth like.. damn!.... it's going well. ^o^ -
no matter your age, 15 or 50, when you find love, you know, because love will always make itself heard in the largest and smallest of crowds.
2002-03-26 01:10:26
Machine: your journal really touched my heart today (night, whatever). It was very beautiful. Don't let people tell you how you feel. Don't ever let anyone else tell you that you don't know what love is. You're always going to hear that becasue when love is real you have to to be willing to fight the whole world to keep it together.
On a personal note: I've experianced this kinda shit for years. My mom has been divorced three times and she STILL thinks giving me advice on relationships is a good idea. uhhh... no thanks. Though i'm 21 now and do sometimes joke about "those crazy kids and their DBZ -_^..." i still hate that so many adults my age and older, are so quick to lump teenagers in to some "adolecent" group. hormones and exams are the only things they have in common. but the ways people react to their situations varies for each individual. no matter the age. and parents who can never admit that their child is an individual (even sadder when a teen wants to think he's like EVERYBODY else) are missing out on a part of that person's life. If everytime you scold someone you relate them to every "statistic" and "newspaper article" that you read, you're denying that person a fair trial. But that's just me ranting i suppose. I just really hated it everytime my mom said "you're just a teenager, what do you know?" Because nothing i ever said to her was the truth in her eyes, it was devalued to "adolecent whining".
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And now to the happy news: I am taking control of my life. Yeah i woke up the other day and saw all of the emptiness i had surrounded myself with. I saw all of the "things" and "stuff" that still had me feeling hollow. so i took a chance, i made a leap, and at the bottom waiting was someone to catch me and fill the holes in my heart. So fuck this world, fuck everyone else's opinion of what I should do. I already jumped. no looking back. and i'm never going to regret it. I am leaving the US, moving to Greece and living the dream i've been ignoring for years. I'm sick of listening to people who want to tell me that i can't have what i want in life becasue i know i can have it. I already do.
JOURNAL: treeprincess (Sarah Ashworth)
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