- 2006-07-22 01:17:29 go to awa mmkay? |:
- 2006-07-21 05:31:21 i must be emo. |:
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uhhh
2006-07-21 05:25:31
who writes in this piece of crap |: ???
i know.
jews.
PS vote for my upcoming bologn"E"
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low...
2003-04-05 03:42:03
Hmm..
It's finally calm down I guess...
This is going to be my longest entry if anyone plans to read this.. so here goes..
Anyways, my week started out with a bang. I finally got out of my spring break and at the edge of finishing my latest video. Monday night rolled around, and I was practically done except for some video encoding problems which came up and caused me to stay up till 5AM before I just gave up for the night. Tuesday rolled along and after hours of struggling to fix up the encoding, I came about another problem as my editing program just started going nuts and wouldn't export anything, so I couldn't make bumpers. Luckily, flint came along and helped me out and it all came together very nicely, and I thank him for that. After I compiled the whole thing, I watched it several times to make sure nothing was wrong, and as soon as I felt it was good to go, I released it on the org and began adveritising it in the chat and several forums as I always have with every release. The initial reaction I received was very relieving and enjoyable because it made all my efforts all worth it. I was on a natural high as people seemed to be enjoying what I made.
Unfortunately, I guess it intimidated a few people which I had not intended for. It caused quite a bit of controversy with people doubting their abilities and I really didn't know how to react to it, so I just tried to stay out of it. People started turning that intimidation around though, which made me relieved and many were even inspired to continue doing what they liked to do, some even at a higher level. There might still be some of the intimidation lingering about, but it has more or less become a positive thing in a way.
To add to the overwhelming feeling, the video received quite a bit of reviews one after another, which totally took me by surprise. Many kind and encouraging comments were made in the reviews which just caused my head to explode with glee. Most of the reviews left me speechless as I couldn't believe what I was reading. Everything seemed to be going my way it seemed until the topic of being and artistic and original came about.
While many felt and saw the artistic and original qualities of the video, many others didn't and made remarks (kind and unkind) about the video and my creativeness, and/or lack of. I can understand where many of them are coming from, but many of the remarks gave me doubts about what I had made the video for. The thing is, I truly did make the video because of what I had envisioned, but the remarks made it seem like I had sold out and that I turned into a trendy fad. I won't deny that the sudden 15 minutes of fame has caused great joy for me, but being called a fad just doesn't make one feel great in anyway. I pondered it for awhile and came to the conclusion that I guess it doesn't really matter whether people think I'm a fad or not, because I didn't do anything wrong. All I did was create something I loved to see and people (for the most part) just seemed to enjoy the vision as well. About being original, I felt bad for being labeled as one that follows the current trend, as I do have great pride in trying to be as original as I can, but to the extent of what I enjoy to see. "The fusion of effects and drama" is my ultimate goal in this hobby and it's what has motivated me to continue editing through long projects. It is both a challenge and an enjoyable endeavour for me.
Anyways, the hype of the video seemed to have spread farther than I could have ever imagined and allowed me to meet other people who had my same interests. However, as I found out, the negative side had reached far as well.
"Pretty for the sake of being pretty"
I won't disclose who said that, and although it may have some truth to it, it was quite hurtful to me. I've always stood by the notion that I am always a drama editor before anything else, and that line just made it seem as if I had placed no emotion at all in the video. The angry part of me says that they're just jealous because of the sudden jolt of interest about the video, while the other made me doubt myself once again that maybe they are right and I didn't place any effort in the substance of the video. I calmed down and thought about it for quite sometime, questioning my motives in making videos and whether I had just become the fad that some say I have become. I watched some videos, some of my own and I just tried to enjoy myself... I realized then that I guess it all doesn't really matter.. People will always see what they want to see and even if I explained to them why I did certain things, why I edited a certain way, or how its supposed to look; it wont matter because everyone will perceive things to what they expect it to be and their experiences that have lead them to that conclusion. I guess the sudden hype has caused the impact of what others say to be amplified in my eyes because of all the people that it reached. Ultimately, I'll continue to edit because I enjoy doing so and if people like it, then so be it. I guess I just wasn't ready to be hit with the hurtful negative side of being in the spotlight.
Sorry, I just had to let that out..
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It's done!
2003-04-01 17:16:40
Euphoria is finally done! Whee!!
http://www.animemusicvideos.org/members/members_videoinfo.php?v=15698
*shameless*
JOURNAL: Koopiskeva (Jay Naling)
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