JOURNAL: Lostboy (Lee Thompson)

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  • Saddle up 2001-09-29 03:22:46 The Pony Man is up. Man I'm exhausted. Nodding off at my desk.

    No progress made on my journal tonight. I was too busy chatting with two friends. Maybe tomorrow will see some headway.

    Bedtime for this puppy. 
  • Corned beef 'n cabbage! 2001-09-28 20:01:28 It's what's for dinner.

    Hmm, I should do my AWA 7 journal layout tonight. I'll get the thumbnails down, then I can start writing text day by day for a few more days til it's done.

    I TOTALLY resent my classes for slowing me down in writing my convention journal. Every day, more details will leak away. I like to put EVERYTHING into my journal that I can remember. I don't care if it's not entertaining to those visiting my site (although some people love the details). My main purpose is to create a perfect memory I can revisit years after the con, without it all fading into the haze.

    I'm compressing an MPEG-1 of my 'Pony Man' Totoro video right now. I should have it online within about 3 hours.

    I wish people would leave me opinions more often. 
  • Thoughts on living up to your own reputation... 2001-09-28 10:07:43 I read a remark in Jay R. Locke's journal, showing his concern about living up to the reputation he's made with Odorikuruu. It got me thinking, and I think I had some kind of profound thoughts. So I thought I'd go ahead and put them down in my own journal. Here's a copy of my letter to Jay...

    -------------------------------------------------

    Hi Jay. I saw something in your journal on amv.org and thought I'd drop you a line...

    JAY WROTE:
    > Every AMV producer wants to improve; to always
    > make the next AMV better, but now I'm thinking
    > that there's no way I can be any better. With
    > every edit I make, a little voice in the back
    > of my mind peeps up with, "But was that last
    > cut as good as Odorikuruu?".
    >
    > I'll bet at this point, all you more experienced
    > AMV producers - yeah, you d00ds with the multiple
    > AMVs and awards - are probably sighing and thinking,
    > "Ho, hum. Been there. Done that." And that would be
    > my point. You've been there and done that. How does
    > one deal with the follow up after the first real
    > big hit AMV?
    >
    > As much as I think, "Do it for yourself", I can't
    > help but feel, as well, the eyes of the audience
    > watching and waiting for the next AMV.

    One year ago, I was right there where you are now, feeling that I'd peaked and that I'd never do better than the popularity of Hungry Like the Wolf. I was crippled by self-doubt til this spring, when Ii realized that I was becoming psychologically video-impotent because of fears about my own inadequacies in fulfilling expectations. Faced with that, I decided to stop hoping to win awards or please crowds, and go back to why I started making videos in the first place. I used to make them all on my own, not knowing there were such things as conventions and competition. I just did it to entertain myself and a few close friends. No worries about what they'd expect. It was all just for fun.

    So I started editing, and anytime I worried about whether what I was ding was innovative or would garner favor at contests, I ushed that aside, and refocused on just pleasing myself. My ELO "The Fall" video grew out of this kind of mentality. I wasn't concerned about the fact that many people haven't seen Video Girl Ai, and that it's not among the top 30 most popular anime shows. I didn't worry about the fact that I'd already made two ELO videos in the past, and people might think I'm working in a rut. I just knew that I would enjoy making the video, and that's all that mattered to me. And perhaps it's that kind of motivation that made "The Fall" show enough heart and soul to end up in the Best Video spot (which, by the way, still surprises the heck outta me... I thought you'd win it!.. Odorikuruu remains among my top-5 favorite videos... it's just so darn catchy!).

    My advice to you, as someone who's edited upwards of 20 videos, is to relax, let yourself be motivated from the INSIDE, and if you don't make each video better than the one before, who cares? That's the attitude I've adopted. So what if I occasionally make a video people don't think is fantastic? People forget your failures and remember your biggest achievements anyway. When I say "George Lucas" what comes to mind? Howard the Duck? Willow? No, Star Wars comes to mind, doesn't it? Because forgettable works are forgotten and great works live on forever.

    So relax. Enjoy yourself. ^_^ Don't burn-out like Kevin Caldwell did. The world will forgive you if you aren't a "video god." 
  • Okaaaay... 2001-09-28 09:40:10 I'm going to try out this journal thing now. So here's my inaugural entry. I just posted a message in the Forum to correct some mistakes about who won what at the AWA 7 Pro awards. I'm pretty sure we've got all the right info up now.

    I finished editing all my con photos last night. 234 of them. Yow. So tonight I'll be making the thumbnails and setting up my base page for my convention journal on my website.

    I miss everyone. Brad, E.K., Daric, Patrick, Brett, Jessica, Greg, Karen, Joey, Vlad, Joe, Jason, Hsien, Mike (Wachter), Mike (Barranti), Mike's sister----she was real nice, and cute too... I should have talked with her more, darn it... As it is, I can't even remember her name... Started with an "A" didn't it?.. uh... Anyway, I was so busy when she stopped me at the back of the VAT room to talk, that I was too brief with her... anyway, back to topic----and everyone else... I wish I could go back and do it all again.

    AWA 7 was hands-down my best con experience ever. And I thought nothing would ever beat A-kon 8 for me.

    Anyway, those of you reading this journal entry, keep an eye out for my con journal! It should be done by the end of the weekend, I hope. It'll be at http://lostboy.dynodns.net/ 
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