JOURNAL: OhMyBelldandy009 (Sarah Jesse)

  • 2007-05-18 10:12:31 Prom today! :p Like I care. The morning announcements song was Ballroom Blitz today (I guess they got to use a song with words just because it's prom). That song would be great for a Host Club AMV. I think people need to focus less on the romance and more on the comedy in that show.

    Now I'm listening to Question by Rhett Miller. He's such a wonderful person. I was thinking about the banquet Mom took me to with him. We ate dinner together! I was really happy to be talking so familiarly with him. At the end, after the dancing and some drunk guy hitting on my mom way too much, I was sortof sad to see it end. I wanted to go home. Because I suppose those things are fleeting.

    Then I remembered that the art festival was at school this week (hooray?). My old best friend Adam had a piece in it. It's just a nice acryllic painting. I was happy to see him still persuing art so well. He's a really good friend. ^.^:; He knew me really well when I was unstable and horrible to be around and he still loved me after all that. After I was with so many other guys that weren't great at all when he was right there. In a way, he was the only one I would feel shy to think about in that way.

    The way he and I fell apart was sad. I miss him being such a big part of my life. During senior sem, we had 40 minutes to kill, so we went to look at the art. After a while, I sat down to put my laptop down on a table next to a chair. After a while, the strap on the back cramps my shoulder. But anyway, Adam showed up. He talked about his painting (what it was of and about other peoples' paintings, too) to about 10 kids our age. I guess you'd just call them seniors. After a bit, he put his binder down on the table to my right (by my laptop) and (avoiding me) talked to someone to my right. Then he sauntered down the hall and went outside for a while. Probably for a cigarette. The whole time he was there, I had been watching him, but I took my glasses off so I couldn't see him see me looking.

    It was something Fiona Apple says in one of her songs. "I took my glasses off when you were yellin at me once, more than once, so as not to see you see me react, shoulda put em, shoulda put em on again, so I could see you see me sincerely yellin back."

    I really related to that... I always take my glasses off if I feel like crying or if I'm angry. Seeing nothing but a blur makes me feel less panicked in a way. Maybe it doesn't though, since I'm aware that they're probably still reacting to me in a way I'm worried about, and it's my interpretation of their reactions more than their actual reactions to begin with...

    :p

    So then Chris (art teacher) was talking to us for a little. He made me giggle. I felt a little sad because I can't take art with him (since I'm graduating) now. That's okay, though. I'll see him in the halls if I visit sometime (maybe next year's festival of the arts). He's a neat guy.

    And then I felt a little cheered up. I remembered that even though Adam and I can't really talk that openly anymore, he's still Adam and I'm still me. So I thought I'd write him a note that I like his painting and stick it in his gnarled binder so he'd see it later.

    Only then, so much time had passed that Adam was creeping inside and down the hall again. He saw me (I probably looked dejected) and said "what're you lookin so cheerful about?" and I saw him smile. I still didn't have my glasses, I believe, but I was so happy. I told him I like his painting, and he asked if I saw Lizzie's (best in show). He asked me about Hannah. So I found myself blabbering about Hannah when I could have been talking about how much I miss him. >.< I would have been too afraid to. So many times, I see him and just desperately want to embrace him, and I know I can't. I hate how he acts like I'm so foreign to him now. 
  • I uploaded the first AMV I ever made (brings back memories) 2007-04-27 22:10:17 http://www.animemusicvideos.org/members/members_videoinfo.php?v=143209

    For any of you who are interested, I only showed my first video to a limited number of people, so when I found it today, I put it online. The only person I actually remember showing this to was Kham, so it should be new for anyone else.

    The resolution is hilariously bad. I don't know what I was thinking. >.< I think I just picked some numbers I thought looked alright when I recompressed it. It's not really something to be proud of, but I've noticed how much more I know now since I made that, and I think it's bad points are cute in an endearing way.

    And it made me laugh. All the little goofy effects I tried to use. My favorite is the part where I synched the boar demon (I don't remember his name) sniffing in heavily to some groan Axel was doing. Good times. 
  • Assholes. 2007-02-10 17:07:53 I shouldn't have to hear about a new AMV Hell project from Google Video. Why didn't anyone tell me? Maybe I should be a little more active and actually pay attention to the community from time to time.

    Assholes. 
  • Full Moon Wo Sagashite 2005-02-14 06:35:28 I've stayed up all night watching the last ten episodes of Full Moon Wo Sagashite. It's my most favorite anime in the whole world. ^_^' It makes me cry.

    I don't like that Takuto loses his memory, and that Izumi is stuck being a shinigami with Jonathan.

    I guess when Mitsuki announces that Full moon will be taking a hiatus, she means she'll actually wait until she's sixteen and in that body to perform again? 
  • 2004-05-04 12:19:45 I finally recovered all my Old 97's albums (well, one's backordered)!

    "Lonely" (1997) is so cute. I was thinking the other day - about how it's only the false realities that make infidelity seem ethical. Rhett Miller talks about loving women who are already taken, and should they indulge in him, I'd understand.

    Musicians and artists do that to me, but they usually have their own lives aside from what you know, and then Michael looks like the best thing in the world. T.J.'s like that. He's so attractive and cool, but he does have his friends and his house and his life. It's too much to invest in.

    But - as they say - the search for a soul mate ruins true love. 
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