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2003-01-01 14:23:58
We went out at 1:00am... Evrything was fine and we decided to go Downtown. We were 12 people, 10 boys and 2 girls (me and my best
friend). As soon as we went downtown my friend got all sad cause she had always wanted to spend New year with me and her boyfriend. Then everything turned out to be a mess, everything went wrong and I had a hell
of a night. First the guys were almost going to get into a fight and my friend is very sensitive so she got scared (about her boyfriend) and started crying in the middle of the street... they didn't fight (cause they're
not THAT stupid). So after that my friend(Maria) started yelling at her boyfriend bla bla bla... They kept on arguing and arguing. So I had to run from one part to the other part to calm them down... Then everybody started acting all weird and I had to keep on talking to 11 people at the same time... Oh My God... I wanted to go home so bad I was almost going to cry myself. Why is it that everytime I help people in one way or another I end up getting hurt myself. I always put, others happines before mine.
I'm tired of always making others happy at the cost of my own happines.
But thing is that I can't control it, I'll keep on doing it. I'll always choose what's best for somebody else but not for me.
Anyways after that everyone went home and for some strange reason I ended up walking home ALONE for 30 min at 4 in the morning, in the streets of toronto. Why do I do this I don't know. I love them and I'll always will and I know that they love me too but why is it that just I have to give up everything to make everyone happy? -
2002-12-31 16:42:06
I'm really scared about tonight... It's new years but I've got a really bad feeling about going out tonight... I would love staying home and celebrating it with my family... Thing is that on one side I have my cousin that says: Don't go out cause it's not going to be the same without you"
On the other hand I have my best friend that is moving in april that says
" You can't leave me alone... It's going to be the last new year together"
So now I don't know I'm very confused and I have a very very bad feeling.
I don't feel good..... -
2002-12-31 16:40:53
I'm really scared about tonight... It's new years but I've got a really bad feeling about going out tonight... I would love staying home and celebrating it with my family... Thing is that on one side I have my cousin that says: Don't go out cause it's not going to be the same without you"
On the other hand I have my best friend that is moving in april that says
" You can't leave me alone... It's going to be the last new year together"
So now I don't know I'm ver confused and I have a very very bad feeling.
I don't feel good..... -
2002-12-31 12:49:02
Ohh I'm very very happy that Earthcurrent doesn't hate me...
Cause I can be very annoying. But now reading his new journal I'm
getting confused. I need to have a long talk with that guy and his
ideas about PINK CLOUDS...
Asuka -
2002-12-31 12:36:25
I've lost a very good friend 4 days ago and since then I haven't been myself. I still talk to him but it's not the same anymore, it's weird and...
I've been avoiding all my friends phone calls and messages and I haven't
spoken to any of them. Thing is that I'm very angry for letting myself suffer. I've been soooo stupid for refusing everybodies help. I talked to my best friend yesterday and she was very upset with me. Her words were
" How Am I suppose to understand if you won't even talk to me... It's not
like you to keep everything in. Stop pushing people away and let them help you for a change..." That really helped me a lot. And I will not forget to mention my FRIEND Cheffy who's been wonderful. His humor is OH MY GOD... I love you Cheffy (Friendly Love... don't go and think something else there buddy). Well I'm not a person who accepts destiny as it comes.
I do not obey destiny.... I change it after what I think is best.
JOURNAL: Moonlight Shadow (Viola M.)
Current server time: Jan 01, 2025 01:48:28