JOURNAL: Autraya

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  • Sex tip #7; Revisited 2007-08-10 01:14:47 So it seems measurement is beyond some people lack or an innate lack of ability to visualise things… it certainly couldn’t have been my somewhat confusing and poorly constructed sentence instructing people on how to measure bewb size….
    Yeah anyway, I’ve been requested to simplify bewb sizes so I thought I’d use 2 methods which are easier for people to under stand, not to mention are easier to relate to than basic maths :
    The Neanderthal and Anime character comparison methods will be used to explain cup sized.

    The Neanderthal method…. .
    Neanderthal’s are an ancient and primitive form of human which became extinct around 45,000 years ago when Europe began to thaw and the forests receded into plains. They built shelters, had fire and made tools they were the most carnivorous form of human ever to have lived, their brains were also 20% larger than ours and possible capable of complex thought, but lacking in social niceties as hunters often want. So this measurement method is simple and based on blunt and easily understandable concepts which theorise they might have used. ;p

    The anime character method….
    This required a bit of research and often judgement calls on my end, I’ve complied a list of characters who fit into each cup size category.

    A Cup
    Neanderthal: hmm feels like flat stone must be little boy not woman
    Anime Character: Cheza (Wolf’s rain), Chihiro (Spirited away), Sailor Saturn (as a child sailor moon)

    B Cup
    Neanderthal: seem to be chest muscle… you come hunting not stay with women.
    Anime Character: San (Princess Mononoke), Robin (Witch Hunter Robin)

    C Cup
    Neanderthal: moves like squishy when poke, not much bounce, whole thing fits in mouth though
    Anime Character: Lina Inverse (Slayers), Cleo (Orphan), Winry (FMA)

    D Cup
    Neanderthal: fits in hand good for suckling little ones
    Anime Character: Dita (Vandread), Kaoru (Ruroni Kenshin), Chidori (FMP)

    DD Cup
    Neanderthal: Nice big full handfuls, move much when poked
    Anime Character: Meer Cambell (The fake Lacus from Gundam Seed destiny), Tifa Lockheart (Final Fantasy Advent children)

    E Cup
    Neanderthal: make good pillows to big for most hands
    Anime Character: Mai Shiranuyi (Fatal fury)

    F Cup
    Neanderthal: good for speed punching practice to hunt sabretooth tiger
    Anime Character: Naga the serpent (Slayers), Dura (Vandread)

    G Cup
    Neanderthal: mmm chest weapon which drag on ground
    Anime Character: Junko (desert punk)


    I hope this aids in your understanding
     
  • Sex Tip #7 Bewbs glorious bewbs 2007-08-09 03:05:18 Well I’ve been talking a hell of a lot about males and male genitalia now it’s time for bewbs.
    So after asking around and gathering the cup size of 9 female editors (all of whom are 18 or older) I can tell you a number of things.
    1. The average size was a D cup
    2. None of the people I asked actually had a D cup
    3. So more importantly the median size is DD
    4. the average bewb size is actually a D cup (of course I’ve read 3 conflicting articles on this so I’m not sure what to believe) in America and a B cup for hollywood starlets… however in the UK and Australia it’s a C cup the average weight of women is also lower all countries outside the USA… so that should tell you a lot.
    5. None of these measurements are from padded bra’s
    6. If a chick is wearing a padded bra and tells you she’s a D cup… she’s got the female equivalent of small man syndrome. She really is a C cup with D-elusions. Padded bra’s make your bewbs look bigger than they are and seem to fit a larger sized bra…. Don’t fall for this guys … you have been warned.
    Note: most push-up bra’s are padded…

    Now when I was talking to a few people in #AMV I discovered that many males (and some females) don’t know the difference between cup sizes.
    So here’s how it works (I’ve included some phrases from some old joke email I saw once to help) get your clothing size in inches say 36 as an example and then measure the fullest part of your bust the difference in inches will give you your cup size;
    Cup size = Inches
    A (Almost there)=1”
    B (Barely there)=2”
    C (Can’t complain)=3”
    D (Damn)=4”
    DD (Double Damn)=5”
    E (Enormous)=6”
    F (Fake)= 7”
    These are the cup sizes available in Australia: A, B, C, D, DD, E, EE, F, G and regardless of the size of the individual cup size doesn’t change thus a swizzlestick with a C cup has the same sized bewbs a “larger” woman who also fits a C cup.
    The bigger they are the more gravity pulls em down so many women with larger NATURAL bewbs may find that they are a D for instance but their bewbs do not protrude that far from their chest (the dreaded teabag effect).
    So what can be done about this other than surgery? There is an exercise machine called a “Pec deck” if you add several sets on this machine into your exercise regime and use it 2-4 times a week you will find after 3-6 weeks you bewbs start to lift and seem more ‘perky’ you are actually just building your pectoral muscles underneath and toning but who cares as long as the bewbs stay up and don’t drop any more ;)
    Now here’s something guys should be wary of… if you are dating a “larger” chick and she has big bewbs when she starts exercising and loosing weight her bewbs will shrink (in about 90% of cases) the same goes for chicks with no- err small bewbs when they get fatter… their bewbs grow as well (of course pregnancy has this effect but often they shrink back to their original size once the baby weight comes off).

    Now onto the wonder bra… usually padded.. it angles bewbs to they are shaped and displayed in a more appealing manner and seem larger too. To be honest though… I’ve worn one… they are not made for bigger bewbs and there are other bra’s that do a lot more for me.

    Check this out though; An Australian company called “Wonderjock” has made the male equivalent of the wonder bra it “enhances your natural assets” I’ve seen the before and after shots…RAWR!!!
    http://www.aussiebum.com.au/en/new/?modelid=482


    Anyway up-next, the G-spot, C-spot and T-spot

    What’s the bet all the guys reading this entry click on the link ;)
     
  • Where for art thou Sex tips? 2007-08-06 20:48:26 Greggus1: What happened to your sex tips?
    Greggus1: I miss them.
    Autraya: I’m still gathering bewb sizes for the next sex tip.
    Greggus1: I miss being reminded that I’m still a virgin
    Autraya: lol
    Autraya: I’m also collecting penis sizes from the “Outer Circle” for another article
    Autraya: Hey! Donate your penis size for science? :p
    Greggus1: I don’t check it that often :p



    Thought for the day:
    “Handle every situation like a dog.
    If you can’t eat it or screw it, then piss on it and walk away”
     
  • Sex Tip #6; One Night Stands, the Interview. 2007-07-30 21:27:14 So you’re at a con, a party or maybe even a club (for those of you old enough to gain entry) how do you get laid?
    I could go on and on about what works but it’s better to hear it from someone who’s made it work for him. So I spent a few hours discussing with Warheart
    the in’s and out’s of how he tackles the 1 night stand situation. I hope you are taking notes ;)

    Autraya; So when you’re chasing tail which of the following describes you best?
    A. Troubadour (music, poetry, romance)
    B. Viking (rape, pillage, take anyone whose not strong enough’s, woman)
    C. Chivalrous knight (chaste by the book but somewhat romantic)
    D. Sleazy with ulterior motives (gets her drunks and eyes off any other potential targets)
    E. Shy nervous geeky type (laughs nervously)
    F. Bad boy (they flock to you, you got ‘tude)

    Warheart: A little bit of A and a bit C because the “shy nervous geek type” can’t get any girls ;p

    Autraya: Pickup lines… do you use them and if so what works for you?
    Warheart; Usually I try to get into a normal conversation and then decide if she’s the kind of girl I’d like to suck my cock. If I asked a girl if she wants sex straight out, I’d get turned down mostly. So I use/get the “lets go somewhere else?” “or shall we go somewhere more quiet?” and that gives the hint as to what you want, then you can decide if you want to take it further but to be sure it'll work out you'd have to wait until she drops the line which I do most of the cases because it can get pretty embarrassing to get turned down sometimes.

    Autraya: Bedroom antics…Who’s in control?
    Warheart: That depends if you get the “busty disco chick” then you have to know when to be in control and when she will get feisty. If it is an emo chick… who don’t usually know what they are doing then I’m in control, the type who usually fall for me are emo chicks ‘cause I wear black, I am in a band and I work out so I seem to fit into their predatory-pattern.

    Autraya: is missionary overrated?
    Warheart: yes

    Autraya: Can you tell if she’s faking it?
    Warheart: Sometimes, if she’s ‘untalented’ then I notice but usually if it’s a 1 night stand they want to play so… sometimes you think they are faking it but you can’t really turn around and ask.
    Autraya: Have you asked?
    Warheart: Yeah I have and she was like “yeah, yeah, yeah” and shaking her head
    Autraya:Wadda ya mean by “likes to play” are you more adventurous in a 1 night stand?
    Warheart: Yeah because you don’t know what they like, so foreplay is more in-depth, since you have to find out what they like, since most girls are hesitating to tell you if you ask, only the more experienced girls actually tell you; but because I usually get the shy looking emo type of girl it's more of trial and error sometimes which can be kind of annoying …*shrugs*

    Autraya: What’s the shortest/longest time you ever got off?
    Warheart: 12-14 hours if I’m on campus I often stay overnight since most of them actually live near campus… but the shortest was like 30 minutes (I was on the toilet and then the girl I was just talking to walked in and grabbed my penis and it’s like “what!?”)

    Autraya: Are you a ass/leg/bewb??? Man?
    Warheart: bewb, yea. The face is actually the most important thing for me, but also the clothes she wears. I can tell from the dress code if she more sexually orientated, like if she’s wearing short skirts or showing cleavage but the face is what tells you most about her personality so I usually look at that first.

    Autraya: Do you prefer blow jobs or intercourse?
    Warheart: I pretty much prefer a bj but most girls like to be pleasured as well on a 1 night stand so intercourse is more common of course.

    Autraya: What is better than sex?
    Warheart: I can imagine, playing live with your band or base jumping would be better.

    Autraya: Onto the main discussion 1 night stands:
    How many have you had?
    Warheart: About 12 different partners, 25 if it comes to orgasms or actual nights, sometimes it doesn’t work out … I actually don’t count since I never thought I'd be doing something like this survey. I've been doing that since I started university so not long ago (maybe 9 months), I guess there are way more experienced people then me.

    Autraya: Ever have that problem where the chick gets attached afterwards?
    Warheart: yes
    Autraya: What did you do?
    Warheart: I don’t like to give out personal information though I did that a few times and the next day I got this call ‘you want to go shopping?’ and I’m like “Nooo” and then cleared up that it was just a 1 night stand and then she called the day after that as well…. It’s kind of good for the ego when something like that happens but it’s hard to turn them down, since I am a stupid asshole, but still it's not easy.

    Autraya: On how many 1 night stands did get drunk beforehand and not remember much of ?
    Warheart: I’d say 3, interesting sidenote about getting drunk: Your standards decrease so it can be scary when you wake up the next morning.

    Autraya: So a guy has a bunch of one night stands that makes you a player right?
    Warheart: No no no; I’m not a player just because I like to satisfy my appetite. I don’t go around tell other guys I did that girl and that girl, I don’t talk to other guys about it only closest friends maybe. I think this applies does also not to girls who have 1 night stands; it doesn’t make them a slut. I don’t see that having a 1 night stands or fuck buddies as a bad thing, I mean it's only human that you have to satisfy your sexual desire. It's how we humans work.

    Autraya: So you’ve got a friend and lets say she’s found a different guy each week just moving from one to another and sleeping with whatever she finds interesting that crosses her path, does the word ‘slut/whore’ come to mind?
    Warheart: Maybe it would pop up because other people might ask me, is she a slut or a whore, seeing me being friends with her. I don't think that's a bad thing although it's already a bit extreme since finding a new partner each week must eat up alot of time. However if she says she has feelings, and is all like 'Oh I love you and shit' and still keeps moving on then she’s a slut. Basically lying and deceiving others with sexual backgrounds or egoistic views makes you a slut or a player.

    Autraya: Do guys judge chicks to be sluts or is it just other chicks?
    Warheart: I’d say it’s both. The word “player” is like an insult for me and if there are many other people there they might say that I am a “player” but I think the word has negative connotations. Normally guys would say ‘slut’ because they're jealous that they can't have her although others can and the same goes for the girls; they are jealous because she gets a guy they want to have but can get. The 2nd reason could be that they have weird Christian values that have been antiquated for decades now. Still more often girls would call some other chicks a slut because, jealousy is most likely to be found coming from females I'd say.

    Autraya: Contraception? Do you use a condom even if getting a bj?
    Warheart: Only for intercourse not for a bj
    Autraya: Do you trust that she's on the pill?
    Warheart: I’d never trust any girl who said she’s on the pill. One of my friends told a guy she was on the pill and she wasn’t. She just wanted to get pregnant. Now she has no contact with the father, but she used to smoke and drink a lot but stopped for 9 months which shows that she is responsible and confident about having the child however, I don’t like the idea of my children running around and me not knowing about it. And I bet there are worse cases that I don't know of.

    Autraya: 1 night stands or a relationship, which is better?
    Warheart: Neither the first nor the second; I’d have to say a fuck buddy is the best option. You have to give up a lot to be in a relationship like your freedom which is the most important thing to me. But if I had to chose between the two I’d have to say 1 night stands because the girl I’d want to devote myself to… well…. I haven’t met her yet.
     
  • Sex Tip #5 Size Does Matter!? 2007-07-26 03:01:12 We live in a society that pushes a myth that the male with a larger penis has a better sex life than one with a smaller penis. This is constantly noted in sexual jokes, in comments heard on TV, or in the movies and in many other places.
    I really think that sometimes chicks put some pretty unfair expectations on guys and their penis size. Studies also show that chicks who think they are attractive have a preoccupation with penis size as a status symbol… which means you should look at sex tip # 2

    The size of your penis is simply determined by factors, called genetic traits, which you inherited from your parents.
    This process of normal penis growth can be disturbing to many males. Since the testicles enlarge first and then the penis starts to enlarge, first in length and then later in thickness. Many young male teens do not notice the testicles growing and worry that they are not changing and that their penis is too small. If you are overweight, fat tissue can hide the penis somewhat and give an impression that the penis is smaller than it really is. The final penis size is reached four to six years after the testicles first started to enlarge.
    It is difficult to know how large a penis will be in its erect state, simply by looking at it when not erect (or when flaccid) so here’s a hint ladies don’t laugh till he gets it up trust me guy number 2 & 3 on table #2 below had the same sized penis while flaccid.

    Table #1: Here’s some statistics pulled from a study conducted by a genealogical institute, erect penis lengths by ethnicity (participants were 16 years or older)–
    Black (African) – 6.89” (or 1.7.5 cms)
    Asian – 5.33” (13.5 cms)
    Caucasian (white/European) - 6.22” (15.8cms)
    Hispanic – 6.15” (15.6cms)
    Native American – 5.66” (14.4cms)

    Making the average Male penis 6.05” (15.4cms)

    Table #2: Now here’s some of what I’ve come across and more importantly how it felt
    No. -Length” - Width” - Shape - Ethnicity - Good times rating
    1.) - 7 - 1.7 - straight, slight upward curve - Serbian - 0/10
    2.) - 6 - 3 - straight, points to the left - Scottish - 4/10
    3.) - 3 - 0.8 - 45% angle upwards - Vietnamese - 0/10
    4.) - 7 - 1 - top half bent to left - Australian - 2/10
    5.) - 8 - 1.5 - Curved upwards - Australian - 2/10
    6.) - 4.5 - 1.2 - straight - Australian - 6/10
    7.) - 3.9 - 1.7 - Straight, top half bent downwards - Australian - 7/10
    8.) - 5.6 - 1.5 - curved slightly upward - English - 0/10

    This makes me think that really size isn't everything but hey that's just me.

    Back on topic you may wonder how this applies to you.
    Table #3 Here’s the results of an internetz survey on erect penis lengths

    12 yrs old – 4.1” (10.4cms)
    13 yrs old – 5.1” (13 cms)
    14 yrs old – 6” (15.2cms)
    15 yrs old – 6.1” (15.5cms)
    16 yrs old – 6.3” (16cms)
    17 yrs old – 6.5” (16.5cms)
    18 yrs old – 6.4” (16.3cms)
    19 yrs old – 6.2” (15.7cms)
    20 yrs old – 6.2” (15.7cms)

    The average adult penis size is about 6.05 inches or (15.4cm) and stops growing around the age of 16/17 and penises do not get smaller as a male approaches age 21, it can be concluded that boys aged 16, 17, and 18 are most likely to exaggerate the size of their penises.
    How many times have you seen a Ferrari in it and thought the guy was compensating or perhaps a braggart or jock who picks on other people and thought the same thing?

    Lets explore this in amv.org terms.
    Many of you have probably seen the “Inner Circle” banners floating around if not here’s one for you:
    http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o231/autraya/IC.jpg
    The “Inner Circle” as it was dubbed during a flame war between a group of talented editors and a few n00bs (resulting in some bannings) is really a collection of editors who have been around for a while and are well entrenched in both amv.org politics and have a tendency to tell people what crap is when they see it. Now, are they all just a bunch of nerdy assholes blowing their own trumpets and compensation for something?
    After gathering the erect penis lengths and widths from 9 of these ‘elite’ editors I can tell you that their average penis size is 6.78 inches with an average width of 1.56 inches. Some of you may think that they lied or exaggerated their measurements somewhat… that may be but I do know without a shadow of a doubt that several of them are not lying. This leads me to one conclusion, they may talk geek better than most but they are hung like stallions and are most definitely not compensating.
    Note: All you rabid fangirls out there, no amount of Yuri, cheesecake or hot bishie action will get me to release the information that made up the calculations so don’t bother trying it’s been deleted.
     
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