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Sex Tip #4 Disclaimer
2007-07-19 09:17:17
Ahhh I forgot to add this to the last entry.
Please note that during the Skype convo; Minion was slightly drunk, Niotex had just crawled out of bed and Autraya had taken a "few" pain killers -
Sex Tip #4 - How to stop geeks from breeding
2007-07-18 21:47:57
Now when I first started posting these tips I didn’t realise the potential consequences, if someone actually manages to get laid (highly unlikely considering the audience) that might result in baby amv-ers running around and lets be honest 80% of the .org shouldn’t be breeding for reasons other then naruto/dbz/bleach worship and their average age of 13.
So JaddziaDax raised and interesting point, I should talk about contraception.
Condoms; this might seem like the obvious answer, well here’s a dilemma… heat of the moment and you just dive straight in... the big brain doesn’t have enough power over the little brain to say “just hold that position while I fumble around for a condom and attempt to put it on in the dark” some of you may wonder why a geek wouldn’t turn the light on… weeell… if the lights were on it’s highly unlikely he/she’d be getting laid in the first place, considering what’s on offer out there. Here’s problem number 2, if you carry a condom around in you wallet,, the chick is as dry as sandpaper, you’ve been playing with sharp objects or your just damn unlucky, condoms break. So use lube, it helps with one of those problems and it actually makes sex with a condom feel better for the chick.
Excerpt from Skype conversation.
Minion: “You know there are other forms of contraception other then condoms like the pill, make the chick do the work instead of us guys having to wear a rubber sock all the time. “
Autraya: “So when she forgets to take it at the right time for 1 day in the month it messes up the pharmacokinetics and she ends up preggers. Not to mention it takes a month to start working and makes ppl fat as one of the side effects”
Niotex: “what about that thing in the arm? And pharma-what? “
Autraya: “I’ve had 3 condoms break on me btw”
Autraya: “it sends many chicks psycho, it’s the oestrogen in it and the pill that messes with chicks minds, so if your gf is already a bit moody gtfo when she starts taking that shit. An IUD doesn’t have oestrogen only progesterone so less psycho chicks and it last for 5 years and it’s cheaper and it starts working the day it’s put in. “
Minion: “abstinence “
Autraya: “Bite me “
Minion: :
Niotex: “Lawlz”
Minion: “You know there is one form of contraception that a chick will never get pregnant from “
Niotex: “oh shi~ Iknowrite”
Autraya: “Masturbation doesn’t count “
Niotex: “nah lol “
Minion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
Niotex: “Indeed haha”
Autraya: “grrrr, wtf is guys obsession with chicks taking it up the arse – “
Niotex: “We like it dirty thats all “
Minion:” well there no pregnancy “
Autraya: “How about YOU take it up the arse! There is no pleasure centre there for chicks at all! “
Minion: “bull, some chicks get off on it. “
Niotex: “uh hu”
Autraya: “They are fucking faking it and porn movie shit isn’t real!, guys get wild orgasms from taking it up the arse when the penis or strap on hits the prostate. You’d need to play with the clit at the same time “
Niotex: “Well then do so! “
Minion: “So? Doesn't mean it doesn't work for us “
Autraya: “I just don’t get it, it’s like the obsession for hairless pussy”
Minion: “Shaved it better “
Niotex: “Yeah a full bush just doesn't do it for me “
Autraya: “Jesus fucking Christ! It’s like shagging a 10 year old! “
Niotex: ” hmmm...”
Minion: “hair gets stuck between your teeth “
Niotex: “Mike your not supposed to eat the bush.. that shit is bad for you man “
Autraya: “dude if she shaved her pussy all the time then she’d end up with a 5/6 o’clock shadow and it’d be all prickly “
Minion: “oh I don’t care how she gets rid of the hair as long as it’s not there when I mmfff “
Autraya: “GAAHHHHH!!! “
Niotex: “Instant get haha “
Autraya: “Fuck you guys haha”
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Sex Tip #3 “Outta your League!”
2007-07-11 21:19:18
How many times have you heard some one say “he/she’s out of your league”?
Studies show that men tend to desire women with features that suggest youth and fertility (whether they are aware of this or not); a low waist to hip ratio, full lips, soft facial features.
Women have strong preferences for men with taut bodies, broad shoulders, clear skin and defined masculine facial features all of which indicate virility. Now this man not come a s a surprise to some of you, women are also attracted to men who look as if they have wealth or the ability to attain it.
However both men and women value intelligence.
So this helps to explain a number of things;
1.) Why there are so many couples that look alike, those chick magazines have those articles a lot ;)
2.) The reason so many Hollywood stars many other Hollywood stars and why us poor shlubs will never get a chance with Jessica Alba or in my case Antonio Banderas ;_;
3.) Why some one is “out of your league” and now you can say that that persons “Attractiveness, intelligence and status is not of a similar ranking to your own”
Of course there are exceptions to every rule, my father is a prime example he preferred his women to be as dumb as dog shit, that way they were easier to control.
An example of his view point; In the early 90’s I went to see a Hollywood Shakespeare adaptation where they were using ‘ye olde english’, I asked him why mum wasn’t coming and his reply was simply “Danielle your mother is to stupid to understand Shakespeare”
I think the next topic (#4) is about contraception raised by JaddziaDax and has input from Minion and Niotex as you might guess it goes on a complete tangent.
And in tip #5 I’ll be tackling “Size does matter?”
Remember if you’ve got a request or question let me know and I’ll try to dig up something interesting on it.
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Sex Tip #2 - It’s about the way they smell.
2007-07-10 23:01:11
Work in genetic and mate preference shows that we are attracted to people who possess certain genes.
This is called Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC).
Breeding with someone who has different MHC produces offspring with better immune systems, but how does this affect your choice in partners?
Well people with difference MHC find each others scent more appealing, did you ever wonder why some ppl smell good enough to eat or bend over and fuck? Well it’s not the “lynx effect” (lynx being a popular deodorant in Australia that gets men raped in elevators if you believe the adds) it’s their MHC turning you on.
Now here’s a spanner to throw in the works, if the female is taking oral contraceptives (mostly known as the pill) or it’s a “certain time of the month” she will prefer men with similar MHC to her own…. Soo when it wears off, watch out guys your ass is so gonna get dumped!
All that said, I originally thought that the way a person smelled was based on star signs why?
Well I’ve been with 3 Sagittarius’ and dumped them all because of the way they smelled.
Sagittarius #1- started out nice but slowly poor hygiene habits caught up with him, not washing his bedding for 6+ months and leaving all his clothes on the floor unwashed and just re-worn for the same amount of time gave him a stench aura of about 2 metres. The break up went like this.
“I think we should break up” ~ Me
“But why I love you” ~ him
“Well I don’t [gets out of car] bye” ~ Me
What I could have said was “because you stink so much that you touching me or being in you very vicinity makes me gag violently” but sometimes omission can be less painful.
Sagittarius #2 – Smelled great for the first week and then through no fault of his own his pheromones or MHC just started turned me off, nice guy but his scent was making me feel ill.
“Lets have sex, I’ve got a g-string” ~ Him
“uh, nah, it’s been fun, see ya” ~Me
Sagittarius #3 – Well this was a one night stand, I woke up then next morning , smelled what I’d slept with and decide to leave it at that.
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Sex Tips
2007-07-09 23:42:40
So it's come to my attention that there are waaaay to many single people on the .org
That and my IQ type is rated as a "Fact Collector" so i have all these weird thing floating around in my head.
What does this all mean? Well it means that i'll be posting interesting sexual/dating tips/facts as i come across them.
Tip #1
Kissing helps fight tooth decay.
It stimulates saliva which helps to dilute bacteria in the mouth.
This does not mean you can get away with not brushing your teeth, 'cause no one is going to want to kiss you if you don't.
Now a few weeks ago I was kissing some guy... and i think he must have been from a drama school (actually he's a cop) becuase all he was capable of was a "hollywood" kiss. That is, no tongue just put mouths together like 2 fish. Booooorring and more important than no tongue is the lack of saliva.. so my teeth didn't get cleaner ;)
If you are boning a chick for god's sake learn to kiss!!
JOURNAL: Autraya
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