JOURNAL: Arigatomina

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  • Japanese, college, ranting whining stuff 2006-10-25 16:35:17 So, I have a little time before I have to leave for the evening (lots of stupid family oriented things for Halloween that I wasn't fortunate enough to miss by going to yaoi-con). I was scanning some of my favorite bits from the djs and artbooks I bought. And once again I'm struck by the intense desire to learn how to read these things. I'm good with languages, a good mimic ability that helps pick up accents and things like that. And I know from Spanish that even if I don't speak the language fluently (forget too many words), I can read it very well even after years of not being around it. I don't have anyone to learn to speak Japanese with, but reading it should be something I can pick up and practice on my own.

    There's my recurring problem. I've found sites online that help with the symbols (hiragana and katakana mostly, since the kanji sites come later, I thought). The problem is they all seem to be geared at helping people who already have the basics down. I have nothing. The best I can do is recognize what they're talking about - sound, picking up familiar words and putting it into context. I can watch anime without subtitles and only have a word or two throw me for a loop. I know, anime isn't as complex as, say, drama series, but I've gotten a few 'soap opera' style Japanese shows and I understood those, as well. I just get the feeling I could teach myself if I had a good site or a textbook aimed at 'teaching yourself Japanese'.

    Are there any? Online websites or textbooks you can buy online that will let you teach yourself? Google searches aren't helping. I'm not sure why. I probably don't know the right key words to use to narrow the search down. Or maybe it's one of those languages you just can't teach to yourself, so no one bothers making sites/books like that.

    I don't think I'll be able to take a course anytime soon, unless it's an online course (doubt they have language courses online). Yeah. Just a little frustrated over here. I miss college. I never had the time or money to take courses that weren't necessary for my degree, so Japanese was like a pipe dream. I didn't even really get to take Spanish for my language credits. I skipped to the last class and aced it to get credits for the others to save time - since I'd already wasted years in the engineering program. Switching majors at the last second is hell when you're on scholarship that only pays for so many classes, and for so many years.

    I know, I was lucky (??lucky??) to get the free ride, but I was surrounded by people with a much lower grade point average who'd been going to school for 6+ years on scholarship - just because they were in athletic programs or their parents were on welfare. I think it's crap. I worked my ass off in highschool, took all the college level courses available, never missed a day, joined the Envirothon (we got 3rd that year - the first time for the school, and we were the second group because I was the only junior member - pissed the seniors off something awful) and Academic Honors program, everything I could get into. If we hadn't had 11 valedictorians (all related to members of the schoolboard, naturally), I would have had a shot at one of the better scholarships. We were definitely poor enough to qualify for a lot more than I got. I don't get how the distribution works. A 'C-average' student with a non-existent attendance record, taking the easiest classes there were, gets twice as much for college? Just because his mom stays at home popping out babies instead of working? We were on welfare once, when my mom was going to nightschool to get her accounting certification and stuff. Sure, we got off as soon as we could, but we were still poor as fuck. And the only special scholarship I got was for being a girl taking an engineering program? Bullshit. Utter bullshit. I had just enough basic "poor people" scholarships to still get a degree after I switched to Liberal Arts, but you'd think grades would count for something.

    Yeah, I guess I'm still strung out over that. Sad, since it's been a while since then. But looking back I could have taken at least four extra classes if I'd stuck on the engineering degree - had an extra, very nice, scholarship just for being a girl with good grades surrounded by guys with bad grades (and rich families). Stupid me. I would have been miserable working in that field - I realized that halfway through and switched - but I would have had more fun taking classes while they were available and paid for.

    Bottom line, I'm still resentful. Whiny baby me. I miss college. And I absolutely hate not being able to teach myself something I want to learn. It pisses me the fuck off. I'm not supposed to be that stupid. It's like livejournal. I don't even know where to start. >.<

     
  • home... 2006-10-24 00:31:00 Yaoi-con was fun. I bought a crapload of doujinshi, seriously, a crapload. My arm still hurts from carrying my check-in bag and it was light when I left for California. I'm glad I left plenty of room for the djs. Honestly bought every single book I was the least bit interested in. I'm sure there were more that I didn't see, but I bought the ones I found. So happy now. My collection is really taking off. Finally. I've been wanting a dj collection for two years now.

    The amv contest wasn't as good as I'd hoped. The videos were good. All of them were good. But a lot of the songs were...weird choices. There were a few that I died when I heard them - loved the song - like one that used a song from "The Princess Bride" - that brought back so many memories I had this shit-eating grin on my face the entire time. The vid was good, too, but wow, loved seeing that song get used. I think the biggest problem with the contest was that there were basically two sources - Loveless and Final Fantasy 7. Seriously. There was one Gundam Wing video, one Trigun video (that won best comedy), one Weiss Kruez Gluhen vid (action), one Gankotuso (sp???) (that won best romance), and one that looked like Kizuna (I'm not sure, it was an older series). And I sent one for Meine Liebe (that won the "theme" award). Then there were...what felt like 10 Lovelesss amvs. It was probably only four or five - I'll download them as soon as I can. And I think there were only two FF7 vids, but it felt like there were three or four. There just really wasn't a lot of originality with the sources. I don't want to say it was boring, but it *was* repetitive right from the very beginning of the showings. There were 28 videos, 4 sections of 7, and it felt like there were only 7 anime being used in the entire contest. I know, if you count them there was more variety than that, but it didn't feel like it when you watch them all in order.

    I guess that's how people felt the last year I went. I heard people muttering how they didn't want any more YYH vids to be in the contest because there were 3 of them that year. That's 3. There were a lot more than 3 Loveless vids this year. It does get a little predictable when every vid to the anime uses the exact same scenes. Even my multi-anime romance vid used the same scenes when I used Loveless in it. I don't think I want to use that anime anymore. ~_~;; I feel guilty now, like even when I'm trying to be random and unbiased (multi-anime), I'm still just flashing the same thing everyone else is showing. At least I got some squeals from the GetBacker footage - some Kazuki fans in the audience. That was nice. The little bits of Touya/Yuki went well, too. Ah, I love multi-anime vids. A little bit of everything. ^_^;;

    Other peeves - I didn't get to sit with the creators. I went the year before last and they had a row reserved for amv creators, and one guest each. This year they had a row reserved only for the creators - no guest. Now, I could understand that if there were a lot of creators, but there were like 7 editors in the entire contest. I only saw two of them sitting in that empty row - they were friends who came together, so they didn't need the 'guest' spot. With a whole empty row you'd think they could let a third creator hop up there with a friend instead of leaving all those empty seats. Tells me creators aren't very important. They can't be. Not when they had less than 10 creators and they'd rather have an empty row of seats than have the ones who showed up for the contest actually sit there. I ended up on the far right - with a beam cutting the right side of the screen. It was better than sitting by myself in that empty row, though. Gave me a chance to see the vids the way 2/3 of the audience did. Only the ones up front had a clear view, anyway.

    Then there were the girls sitting in the row behind me. I agree that the contest got really slow with each new Loveless vid that started, but they were being a little loud with their complaints. I think you should wait till you leave the contest to start bitching out the creators. It's just rude otherwise.

    Then there was my Meine Liebe vid. It got stopped halfway through. ^_^;; They had to fix something and start it from the beginning again. I'm really surprised no one groaned when they started it over - as much as they were muttering about the reptitive/boring categories.

    The comedy section came last and that really made up for all the repeats. I loved every comedy vid that was shown, and the winner - the Trigun vid 'Too Loud' - which I'll be downloading asap - was hilarious. Totally cackling outloud watching that.

    There seemed to be some problem with placements for some of the vids. The Gundam Wing one was a parody of the Brokeback Mountain comercial advertizement. Hilarious. But it was in the Romance category. I don't think it would have beaten "Too Loud" if it had been placed in comedy, but it still would have had a better shot than in *romance*. It was competing with sappy love stories. Or maybe that was an advantage since it did get a lot of fan appreciation for being so funny. ;p Really liked that one - Brokeback Gundam.

    I got a kick out of the fan reaction to the vids I submitted. I don't think my action entry got any squeals, but I'm glad I sent it becuase the contest *needed* a various video to go with those FF7 vids. Guilty Pleasure got squeals all the way through. It was great! ^^; Every time the scene shifted to a different pairing there were squeals. And it was the only video to use Sukisyo! I can't believe that. I've had that anime as long as I have Loveless - the amv contest was right before Loveless was out on dvd, so people were using fansubs, anyway. I don't get why there weren't as many Sukiyo vids as there were Loveless. It's just as angsty and pretty, and some Sukisyo would have added variety. Splish Splash got some squeals, too. My favorite was when it got the Prince of Tennis boys - there were some fans who must have recognized the 'official music video' footage. That, or they just liked Atobe. ;p

    When I walked away after the contest my first thoughts were - need more Sukisyo vids, and there should have been at least one Kuro/Fay vid because you just know there were fans of Tsubasa in that crowd.

    Other stuff...

    The game room was fun. I so need to get some Japanese games like that - there was one that had One Piece, DBZ, and Naruto and you could have characters from different anime fight each other. That was cool. Plus, we were like the only girls in there. Heh. I got to beat one of the guys who was running the room. It was funny. I was just hitting random buttons, but I have really good beginner's luck with games. I was sure to quit before I lost that beginner's luck. More fun that way. ;p

    I didn't go to the bishy-auction. I wasn't really that interested in the guys this year. Last year it was a shock, outrageous. This year, I knew what was coming and just wasn't interested. It was funny during the Bishy Bingo (was it ever) but I had more fun browsing through my newly acquired djs.

    I got pictures! I hope they come out. Vincent was there again this year. I swear, I love that cosplayer. She makes me wish I were gay. As it is, I just have to appreciate how gorgeous she is in that costume. She even has the red contacts. Love the way she looks. If she were a guy I'd totally have raped her. ;p Instead I just fangirled and got a picture with her. It's probably just as well. No sense lusting after cosplayers when they're female. I just wish she had a twin brother as pretty as her who could pull off that outfit as well as she does. Ah, so cool. I'm such a Vincent fangirl - he's even got me chasing girls now. >.<;

    We pretty much ate pizza the entire weekend because it was 'normal' priced. I don't mind if I never have pizza again. But that's what you get when you're poor and you blow a months' worth of paychecks in the Dealer's room within the first 15 minutes. I even had to go to a mac machine to get what was left in my checking account. Yeah, I bought everything I saw and wanted. Spoiling myself is fun. I can't wait to start scanning the covers of the djs. So many pairings, and so pretty. I even got a Naruto artbook and a Sukisyo...artbook? I'm not sure what the Sukisyo book is (Japanese), but it has pictures that look like they come from the game. Like Sunao having sex with the nurse - that *definitely* didn't come from the anime. >.>

    Altogether - I had a great time. I look forward to downloading lots of vids from the contest. And I have a sudden urge to make a Sukisyo amv because, damnit, I really honestly expected to find at least one in the contest. I'm going to end up searching the org for one just so I feel better. Do fans really like Loveless more than Sukisyo? I liked Loveless, but not that much. Sukisyo is LOVE. Maybe next year there will be all Sukisyo and Loveless will be the one having a cameo in a multi-anime vid. ;p

    Which reminds me... There was only like one multi-anime vid in the contest that wasn't sent by me. Various vids really *are* a dying breed. That's depressing. Why do I always have to fall in love with things no one else is interested in? It's no wonder I keep making multi-anime bishonen vids. Like I've said before, no one else is gonna make some for me. No one else is intersted in them. That sucks. >.<

    /org

    Yeah, and I read the panic thread in the forum about the tube. I'm not interested. If local goes down I'll just start rotating my vids on my site. Then I won't have to worry about telling lies to get my old vids removed. And worst comes to worst, we still have new free file hosting sites coming on line daily. And bittorrent all over the place. It's not like getting a free host is difficult these days. In the past, yes, but today? The local isn't needed as much as it was, so there's no reason the site couldn't function without it. I'll miss the stars and the quick comments, but I have no problem with the idea of only hosting my newest vids, and removing them when I get bored and want to feature something even newer. That's the way I want things, anyway. Silver lining? Meh. Just a lack of concern for the hosting part of the problem. And someone said it already. If everyone leaves just because they lose the local host, they weren't here for a 'community' to begin with. So the 'community' won't be affected.

    The only real problem is if the entire site is shut down and the members are all sued one by one. That would suck. I'm hoping that doesn't happen. ^.~ 
  • hrm... 2006-10-18 01:46:11 I got referred to as a 'vet' recently. As in, been around amv-org a little too long. I was quick to defend myself at the time, but now that I think about it, it's kind of funny. I've been here about 3.5 yrs. If I'm one of the vets, what does that make the people who've been around since 2001 and are still posting more than twice a year? I'm sure there are a few of them left. Pioneers? Oldtimers? Veterans, surely.

    What's the earmark for the transition from newb to vet? Are there stages inbetween? Like the first time you win at a con and people spam your announcement thread you're a 'seasoned' editor? And the second time you're a vet? Or is it completely separate from con status? We're talking amv-org vets, after all, not AWA vets. In that case, would it be the VCAs that stand as the 'next level' or is it some unseen compilation of the member's participation?

    I don't remember moving from newb to non-newb. Time passed, yeah, but I didn't really have any earmarks. My 'earmarks' are more like a little fond memory attached to certain vids that has nothing to do with my 'member status'. Like vid #45 was the first one where I got a nod of approval from ssjVegita0609, meaning I'd finally hit that 'can do action sync' mark. That was also the review that I used to write my own ops from there on out. But you'd never know it to look at my profile, and I'm sure no one but me noticed anything different from the day before to the day after.

    I figure it has to be a gradual process. Con or VCA wins might mark the difference between good and great, but the difference between newb and no-longer-newb is so subtle. Spread that out over a few years and all of a sudden you get called a vet? Maybe it's just the join date. I remember a lot of people who joined in 2003 and I don't consider them vets. Maybe a few goods and some acknowledged greats, but not vets.

    Vets are like oldschool. Vets are people who were well-known when I got here. Ah. Ah! Lightbulb!

    So maybe that's it. Anyone who was known when you joined is a vet to you. And the people who joined with you, or after you, aren't. I'm sure you went through someone's body of work, you could mark their movement from newb and up, by looking at the changes over time. But something like 'vet' would be more of a gut instinct. Still don't like the term on me, though.

    Castor Troy's a vet. Omnistrata, Dwchang, those are vets. And then there's the oldschool guys, we're talking Aluminum Studios, AbsoluteDestiny (before he was known by the new generation only as that name in the guide). I think you have to disappear, or start fading from memory, before you can be a vet. And you have to retire to be oldschool. Caldwell, anyone? Yeah.

    I think I'd fall in the 'older but not gone yet' group of '03. I wonder why I remember there being a lot more active people that year than any year since. Probably the whole OT debacle. Or just because freshman survive better when they stick together their first year in a new school. Then they turn into Sophomores and Juniors and go their separate ways so by the time they're Seniors they forget they all started together. Meh. Need more sleep. The whole forum/highschool thing is rotting my brain.

    Definitely need a RealTV comedy sketch about that. It'd be like 90210 (???am I dated or what???) for the next generation. 
  • hrm... 2006-10-17 01:02:37 I wonder. Is it a bad thing that it takes me an hour or more to tell someone (in an op) how much I like their video? It's so much worse when I dislike the video, talking hours+ just to defensively explain the scores and try to helpfully offer advice for improving them in future vids (if it's basics like quality/sync). But just to gush. An hour+ for gushing? Seems a little excessive. Not that I'll stop writing till I've said what comes to mind. Just...seems excessive.

    Meh. I think I'm gonna die in a plane crash on my wait to California Thursday afternoon. Or get lost in an airport and miss one of my connections. Or die on my way back Monday. I've never flown alone before. And the four times I have flown, all I remember is my ears hurting (chewing gum does not help, no matter what they say). And feeling sick to my stomach at every pocket of turbulence the planes hit. And the smell. And not wanting to go near the closet (bathroom) no matter how much my bladder might hurt by the time the thing lands. And running to find the next terminal between stops.

    And the view over unsettled areas. That's the highlight. I would have loved being a Geologist. Mountains. Deserts. Oceans. Plateaus. Crevices that you never notice on foot but take an almost eerie shape from the air. I'd like to pass over mounds some day and see for myself how people used to make signs before (supposedly) they had any way to view them from above. Like it's really that hard to hangglide. Just because civilizations were old and eventually disbanded doesn't mean they lacked imagination. I'm more a fan of history than the modern day. The earth is beautiful when you remove the people and their waste (buildings, roads, clearcutting, orderly boring farmland patches and the discoloration in the water surrounding port cities). If I don't die, I look forward to enjoying the view. ^_^; 
  • dumb dumb dumb 2006-10-16 00:22:58 So. Turns out one of my siblings' kids had a birthday party Saturday. My brother's daughter, she's like...learning to read in school, that age. Anyway, I didn't remember until 5am Saturday morning, after pulling an all nighter. I ended up running to Walmart - the only place open 24hrs aside from gas stations - and nabbing something. Spent a lot more than I wanted to. I don't even buy presents for my mom's birthday or Mother's day. No one in my family has celebrated my birthday for as long as I can remember (meaning, not once since I was 12 at the oldeest - my memories don't go back further than that). So I was a might irritated when I got there. Then there were kids everywhere. Naturally. Then I got roped into staying - free food, never turn that down, they realize I never turn it down and make it a point to have it any time they want me to come over. Didn't get away until after midnight since my brother quit his job recently and has way too much free time on his hands now. Obviously that screwed the last minute shopping plans I had scheduled for Saturday.

    I got home around 1am and crashed for a few hours. Then I was up at 6am - nervous because my schedule was royally fucked, talk about some screwed up dreams that night. I went cruising shops to see what their hours were. Should have known. I live in Hicksburg. That's only a few inbreds shy of Peewee Valley. Wouldn't you know, nothing is open on Sunday aside from Churches, the Funeral Home, and Walmart. Oh, and the gas stations. Not gonna get much in the way of dress shirts at the gas stations and I don't buy clothes at Walmart. Shoes, maybe, if I'm looking for a pair of black tennis shoes and have to get a really small size in guys' shoes because the girls' shoes are ugly as sin at the Shoe shops. Clothes? No. Jeans, maybe. If I'm really hard up for time. I'd sooner get shirts at the Goodwill store down the block - at least there's older designs there. Not everything is made for anorexic 12yr olds with no curves to speak of and the fashion sense of a Bratz comercial.

    Now I'm stuck trying to schedule a very, very, last minute stop at my preferred store sometime after work. It's open till 9pm on the weekdays. Who'd have known. I sleep when I get off, so I'm rarely up and about between 5pm and midnight on the weekdays. Unless my brother calls and wakes me up with an offer of free food. I really have to figure out how to "accidentally" turn my cell phone off. Unplugging it won't work. Takes forever for the battery to die.

    On the plus side, my brother's girlfriend hates the present I got for his daughter. Beads. A few tags, and enough accessories to last for months. Turns out beads get lost in the carpet. Aw, shucks. Oops. I got it because the last time I saw her, a few weeks back, the kid was showing off this "necklace" she'd made for her mother (they're divorced). It was a piece of thread tied in a circle with three clear beads on it. The most pathetic thing I have seen since I realized I could make necklaces with weeds and not bother whining for toys during my own 'kid' days. The girl's got a big screen television in her bedroom, a playstation2, more games than she'll ever play (she's only there every other weekend at most), and they can't supply her with enough beads to make a decent necklace when she's feeling like playing with something outside the tv? Ridiculous. I hope those little clear beads in the set get lost in every carpet in their apartment. And clogs up the vacuum so they have to buy a new one. Cheap asses. It's no wonder the kid has next to no imagination, she has a theater in her room. Blegh. In my day we had one tv and one movie - and we had the movie for two years before we got a vcr to play it on. I swear, if you're gonna spoil your kids with everything you never had, remember the basics. My brother as a kid would have killed for a basketball. He didn't discover the playstation until he was working - 17yrs old and self sufficient. The kid's barely able to make a "wuu" sound when she tries to pronounce her "R's". She doesn't need a new ps2 game, she needs a speech specialist and a few books. I'd have gotten a few books, except I know they'll get thrown away or left to rot under her bed. At least the beads will stimulate her imagination a little (colors, aah, pretty) - and annoy the heck out of the girlfriend. Bonus points. ;p

    So, yeah. Weekend was screwed halfway through. Whatever. I'll get stuff done tomorrow afternoon. There's not enough time to start anything new, so opping, cleaning, and being bored will about cover it till I can get out and try that shopping thing again. God, I hate shopping. I need to start ordering clothing over the internet like my mom does. It's so much simpler, and they'll make it just the way you want it. Yeah, spread of the internet encourages laziness and hermit behavior. It'll have to suffice until I'm rich enough to move to Colorado and plant down a few miles from the nearest civilization. Or an old folks' home with my own room and a low bill so no one is paid enough to bother checking in on me more than once a week. That would be nice. ^____^
     
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