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Strange Dayz -Zero-
2005-09-13 17:50:24
“Still here?” Shin flopped himself on the unmade bed in his brother’s room
“Yeah new semester doesn’t start for a week.” His brother said, while facing away from him. His eyes focused on the computer. The only actions his body made were the precise movements of the hand that controlled the mouse.
“No I mean, here. On the computer. Can’t you leave your game for a few days without flipping out?”
“Yes I can. I choose not to.”
“I can stop anytime?”
“Yes.” He deadpanned.
“I hate that game. There’s no point to it! Is it fun? There’s no way to win.”
“Its an MMRPG. Your not supposed to win.”
“Why would you want to play a game where you don’t win?”
”Dunno. Cause its fun.” The click-click from the mouse intensified
Shin could only see a part of the screen from over his brother’s shoulder. The little soldier that represented his brother was running around and hitting monsters one after another. He let him go on for a while before getting his second wind.
“Look, you’re just running around whacking the same things over and over. How is that fun? “
“I get Credits from those things, then I buy new stuff inside the game with it.”
“Like what?”
”well… you can buy new hats. See that hat?” He pointed to a random player.
“The one that looks like a bird is on his head?”
“Yeah.”
“That cost 23 million credits.”
“How much do you get for whacking that stuff?”
“About 200 credits.”
“200 credits?”
“Yeah.”
“So let me get this straight. Mom and dad bought this PC for 15 hundred. It cost 40 bucks a month for net access and you pay these guys a monthly fee so you can whack about 10 thousand of the same monsters over and over for a hat that looks like a bird is on your head?”
“Its 10 thousand? You did the math?”
“Well about that much, im rounding down.”
“Ahh.”
“That’s not the point! This is fun?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s the saddest thing ive ever heard.”
“Ah! I found a rare!”
“A what?”
“A rare! Every one of these monsters has a one in a thousand chance to drop a special item. COOL I can sell this for lots of credits.”
“Look! Outside! REAL PEOPLE! And their doing things! WOW!” Shin exaggeratedly pointed to the window.
The audible action on the high res monitor paused momentarily, I notice that his digital counterpart was lying on the floor of the dungeon cave. He swiveled the creaky desk chair that Dad had lifted from work and stared at me laying on the bed with a look as if I dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
“You think this is pretty dumb don’t you?”
“Yep.”
His eyes flickered for a moment, first on the floor then on the wall housing old comics and schoolbooks long ravished and forgotten. For a short second I sensed a dawning come over him as if he was able to drop his memories and see everything as a stranger would. The look was gone before I was able to guess what it could have been about. He swiveled back to the monitor before I could say anything.
“Maybe it is.” The click-click of the mouse resumed.
“So why do it if its stupid.”
“It’s no more stupid that working overtime to afford that new car, or the second mortgage, or that trip to Hawaii.”
“No its not because those are all real.”
“To some it’s the same whether it happens in out there or in here.”
My peripheral vision caught his gesture. He was pointing. But I didn’t want to extend the effort to turn my head to see it. I knew what he was pointing at. He was pointing to the monitor. I’ve heard many times about “otakus” from Kei. People who get so obsessed with their hobbies or whatever that they prefer them over everything else. What causes people to do that I wondered, and as I did I turned my head in a unconscious effort to override logic. It was then that I saw that what he was pointing to was not his monitor; it was his head.
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Strange Dayz -Zero-
2003-07-01 23:32:34
“Son, get you ass in here.” From the dim glow of the dinning room his father called to him in a not-to-happy tone.
“Right. Sorry dad.” Caught! He thought. Shin took a seat at the table. His parents’ meal was long over but his cold food was still waiting for him.
“I know your getting older now son, but that doesn’t mean you can disappear without telling anyone.”
“Right, it was an accident.”
“Accident?” His mother inquired.
“I fell asleep outside.”
“You fell asleep? You could catch a cold like that.” His mom said in a way only moms can.
“Well I wasn’t really paying attention….” He trailed off while memories of what happened, made him both nervous and fidgety. We’re skirting around the subject, he thought. Not good. Not good.
“Whets wrong Shin?” His mom said taking note of the “I’m hiding something” look on his face. Mom always saw right trough him.
“Nothing.”
“You cant have your head in the clouds all the time son.” His father remarked, while himself not really paying attention.
“I know. Where’s Dan?” Shin changed the subject deftly.
“Where else? Locked up in his room doing…. What does he do again?” His father asked in a sarcastic tone.
“Computer science major” His mom answered.
“A don’t-talk-to-your-parents major. I swear, why does he even bother coming home?”
“Its semester break, right? Where else is he going to go for free food?” His mom said, hitting the nail on the head. “Tomorrows your last day of school isn’t it” His mom inquired turning to Shin. “What are you gonna do with your summer vacation we cant afford to send you to camp this year.”
“That’s okay. I don’t really want to do anything. I just want to relax and enjoy the time off.”
“That’s a good idea Shin.” His dad said with a bit of nostalgia in his voice. “You know after you enter High School , its all over.”
“What do you mean?”
“This is it. These are the last days you can look back on with out really knowing where you were going or where you came form. Everything that happens in High School changes you into the person you are going to become.”
“I’m not gonna change….” Shin felt a little uneasy.
“Its not a bad thing.” His father said reassuring him.” And its not like anyone wants to change, its just one day you wake up and you realize something and that is what separates you then from you now. Before you know it you’re a fat bastard.
“Hon, stop scaring the boy.”
Shin wondered what was so special about this time in his life. It certainly didn’t feel special to him. This is what he thought as he finished his dinner.
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Strange Dayz -Zero-
2003-07-01 02:34:43
Shin woke up lying on his back on the floor. The stars were out. A chill blew and made the hairs on his arms and legs stand up. He hugged his arms and looked around. He was in a field quite a ways from his house. What had he been doing last? He remembered coming out here to read after school, and then…..
I was with Kei. It suddenly came to him. Did that really happen? He looked about the ground as if it was about to answer him. Kei and I…. He trailed off. I know what this is. He thought. This has happened before. Something will happen, and I think that it has happened before and if I remember hard enough, it turns out that it was a dream I was remembering. Or something that I’ve known for a long time will be confirmed to be true, and ill say “I knew that” and they’ll say “We just found out! How could you know.” Like that time I knew the words to that song that hadn’t come out yet. Yeah, that’s what happened. Confident with his explanation, Shin got up and stretched.
Where’s my book? Shin looked around in vain. His copy of 2000 Leagues Under the Sea was nowhere to be seen. I had it when I came out here. Defeated, he began walking back to the house.
He paused in mid step. What if that wasn’t made up. What if Kei… He thought back to the image of her forearm lying over his shoulder, the heat of her body resting on his. Would that be so bad? Wouldn’t it be a good thing if it did happen? Well at the least it would have meant that she liked me. If only I…. Another thought edged it’s way in front of the others. Do I like Kei? Well she is very cute. She has red hair and already has a nice rack…. But do I like her? He quickened his pace back to the house. It doesn’t matter anyway. He concluded. I must been having one of those dreams. That all it was. Shin left the cold of the
night behind him as he entered the back door of his house.
Home for Shin was good-sized two story house in Tarson Texas. The city had a population just over fifty thousand. His home resided in one of the many suburbs created to service the workers of the RGIH plant located on the southern edge of the commercial area of Tarson. Less that 10 miles outside of Tarson lay nothing but bare wilderness, save trees and some lizards. Almost as if not to be reminded of this fact, the homes built on the solitary streets that branched throughout the desertscape were place close together, giving the illusion of a highly populated place. However, one would only have to walk across the street and past the nearest house (for none of them had fences) to realize that nothing lay beyond it but earth and dust.
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Strange Dayz -Zero-
2003-06-29 18:25:00
+++
I had a strange dream while i slept. Usualy when I dream, it always feels as if I am trying to accomplish somthing. Like Im trying to go somwhere, someone is calling me, or I have to tell someone somthing. I would have never thought dreams would be a source of stress, but that is how they often make me feel. But this dream was diffrent.
I saw an old man, he looked to be over sixty. His hair was long and oily, and his skin hard and brittle. His face had such a serious look and was so set, that it appeared he could never smile even if he wanted to. It was not within his power. He was sitting in a large reclining chair, but he was not reclining. He held his hands in his lap in such way that it looked like there was somthing of great value in his possesion, but his hands were empty. He wasnt staring up in hope, or down in dispar, but strait; strait into nothing. His eyes were glassed and unfocused. The thing that was most unusual about the dream was the feeling. It wasnt as though this old man was waiting for somthing or that he had to do somthing, intead it felt while watching him, as though there was nothing to do. Nothing to wait for. Whatever sadness whatever joy there was, it was not coming. Everything had happened, and there was no more. Then he closed his eyes.
Then it felt like someone cried. It wasnt me, and it wasnt him. But someone did. Can the dreams themselves shed tears? Maybe not, but thats what it felt like. like cold being spread in and through you.
cold.
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Strange Dayz -Zero-
2003-06-27 03:48:34
“You know, I don’t think there are enough sex scenes in the good movies and animes.”
Kei leaned over Shin’s shoulder purposely pushing her breast into his right arm. Shin looked up from his book, trying for all the world to hide how flustered she made him when she teased him.
“That’s cuz people don’t like sex as much as they say they do.” Shin replied, trying to concentrate.
“Why?? It feels so good right?!”
“And how would you know?”
Kei turned away, her face flushed. turnabout was fair play he thought. He knew full well that they were both still virgins, but he was curious as to where she came up with these ideas. He looked at her body as she was playing with a weed-flower. Her jeans weren’t tight, and neither was her shirt. But he knew that her boobies were a good size, ever since he snuck a peek that one time.
Did I just say ‘boobies’? he thought. She still wasn’t looking at him. Even though she has a big mouth, she is still easy to embarrass. he guessed. Suddenly the image of Kei masturbating came to mind. He saw her belly down on the comforter, shirt bunched up under her chest. Her panties pushed to one side as she stroked, eyes closed and clenching her pillow. Panting, panting, moan-
“HELOOO?!” Kei screamed in his ear.
“WHA?” Shin looked up, startled out of his reverie
“You MUST have been thinking something nasty.”
“Can you read minds now?”
“No but I can read your pants.”
“Oh.” He shifted away from her.
“What were you thinking?”
“Well I…..”
“Tell the truth!”
“I was picturing you masturbating.”
She took this in stride as usual. If this had been an H manga she would have blushed and then offered to give him a hummer. Reality doesn’t blow as much as he thought, he realized sadly.
“I guess you are a man after all.” She said as she hit him on the shoulder. “Trying to play the mature guy saying you don’t go for sex scenes and then making up one yourself! What a hypocrite!”
“I didn’t say I didn’t like em! I said PEOPLE don’t go for them cuz its not all that. Sex messes up the story.”
“No, it makes is cooler!”
“Yeah, sure. But then what? People like it but they don’t think about the consequences.”
“Now you sound like my mom”
“Its true! Sex messes with peoples feelings. That’s why it messes with the story.”
“Whatever.” Kei said while looking away at something else.
“My dad said sex used to mean something, back when people used to like each other. “
“Is that where your getting all this information smarty pants? News flash! Your dad scores less that you do. Its probably all that beer he drinks.”
“Leave my dad outa this.”
“Besides whatever you say, I know what you REALY think. I’ve seen the pile of dirty comics in some writing I cant read and they’re crazy hair colors.”
“I’ve told you! Their called MANGAS! God I would think that you who watch so much anime would know what they are!”
“Whatever. I only watch them in English anyway.”
“Besides those only make me sad after a while.”
“What, cant get it up anymore?” Kei said, feeling clever. Shin ignored her and continued.
“No, its that there are, and never were any girls like the ones in those books.”
“Of course! They’re just boy’s fantasies. I would of thought that was obvious with the unbelievable amount of stuff that comes out of their cu-“
“And that’s what I don’t like about them. Its just like you said, when they’re in the books and movies, it just makes them ‘cooler’ but it doesn’t mean anything.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Well your still a child.”
“I’m older that you are.”
“Only in body”
Kei walked to where he was sitting, and sat down behind him. She draped her arms over his neck, pressing her chest against his back. And spoke softly into his ear.
“Hey, shin? Wouldn’t it be great if we could stay children? If we were to young to understand sex, we could have it all we wanted and not have it mess us up. Wouldn’t that be great?”
“You want to be a boy’s fantasy?”
“I want to enjoy something with someone I like.”
“And what if another boy liked you? Or another girl liked me? Could you choose?”
“Would you want me to? You make it sound so complicated”
“That’s cuz it is.”
“If that happened, then I would just do this…”
Kei began to unzip the Shin’s jeans and stroke him. His mind exploded in a hundred different directions. Could this be happening? Did he drift into a wet dream? Did he fall into a hole and land on a spaceship full of big breasted women?
“Kei? We….”
“Would it help if I colored my hair green or purple?” Gently, stroking back and forth, she continued.
“No…. red…. Is…. close enough….”
JOURNAL: Hexus
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