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My Future (*waring do not read*)
2005-10-27 14:43:20
Its been a while since I’ve had the temptation to write in my journal. Ill warn you before you go on this has very little to do with the world of AMV but rather my life. So feel free to stop reading now.
Well in the world of AMV’s I haven’t done much in fact its been almost 9 months since I have done anything serious with editing. While I want to edit I find myself with out the will to do it. I don’t find it boring but quite the opposite. I find myself slowly getting the only working computer in my house ready for some sort of editing and at the same time coming out with different ideas for videos. While I don’t know how much longer it will be before I release a video (a serious video not a MEP section) I plan on having at least one video done by next summer at latest. Also I have in the works something to make my editing experience more present then it has been in the past. Instead of the POS Dell I am writing this on or another notebook I plan on making a computer (roughly $1700 in total) aimed at editing. How long this will take is undetermined due to money. Not that any of you really care about that but that’s all for the AMV part of this journal entry.
Well my future is quickly approaching me and I find that I have no clue what to do. My slacking off in school has finally caught up with me. I’m unprepared for what lies in front of me. I know I want to finish my time at Community College and then go on to a four year university but at the same time I don’t know if I have it in me. The only thing that keeps me in school right is my full time job at Best Buy and seeing all the shit jobs that my friends, who didn’t have any college, and well find that I don’t want that for myself. Hopefuly that will be enough for me to keep going. Then again looking at the curriculum is quite pleasing. It has its fill of unwanted classes like a need for more math and English but that is a small sacrifice compared to all the classes that I would actually like to take. I have narrowed it down to a few schools that I would like to attend eitherThe Art Institute of Pittsburg (http://www.aip.artinstitutes.edu), The Art Institute of Philadelphia (http://www.aiph.artinstitutes.edu/), or Full Sail (http://www.fullsail.com/). Each has its ups and downs but at this point and time these seem to be the most logical choices for me since my major would be either Digital Media Production, or Video Production both quite similar in course.
“My Life on Standby” is at the moment how I would describe how things are going right now. My job is, for lack of better word(s), dicking me around. (*warning small rant ahead*) When you start you are told that you can move to another department if you find that you no longer enjoy working at your current position. Well its going six months and guess what I’m still in the same department. If this was anyone else, other then me, I would have told them to quit almost five months ago. These false promises are on my last nerve and I want out. But for some reason those false promises, and the discount, keep me there. I guess I watch my friends move and think “ok cool they moved guess I should move soon,” I really need to get past that and just find a new job the BS that you have to put up with at a Best Buy is not worth the pay ,especially if your working customer service. I’ve noticed that my girlfriend and I have begun to drift apart, why, I’m not to sure of yet but I do continually find myself trying to mend all the problems; however, I am unsure if my attempts are working. And with her being the only thing keeping me gong as of lately I don’t want, or rather can’t afford to loose her now. Yes that is very selfish of me but I can’t find another muse, or reason to live at this moment. No I’m not suicidal I just don’t want to laps back into another period of depression again. And to top things off my car is in the process of dieing on me leaving “my broke ass” with no transportation.
By now if your still reading I am guessing that you are seriously thinking of finding my address and killing me for wasting your life with my continuous whining, ramblings or whatever you want to call it so with that said I promise that this is almost over.
With all of this said I know the only person that can help me is myself and I am not saying all this to try and get people to feel sorry for me in fact that is the last thing that I want. The reason for all of this is not for attention but rather I just wanted to vent and rather then put one of my friends threw an hour long of me doing this I figured that I would just type this and post it for people to read why put YOU threw this rather then a friend….simply because you have the choice to read this where as a friend, a true friend, simply must sit there and listen and try to find a way to help. I thank you for taking the time to read this and I will try to not post anything as “stupid” as what you have just read.
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New Year
2005-01-07 12:36:35
ok i have written, erased and re-written this opeing like 9 times now...hell i re-wrote this little bit about 6 time now....damn that is just sad. Well anyway. Well with the new year started i have decided that i have a few goals this year. Mainly i want to make it to the finals of a contest (Otakon mainly) I dont care if i win..hell i dont care if i get a singal vote id just love to make it to the finals. But then again i dont care if i do..i just love making the videos.
the second thing that i want to do is make a upbeat rythyem video. I dont know why but this idea that i have told only one other peroson just keeps going through my mind...then again i also need an excuse to try and use after effects.
With that said i do have about 4 videos planned for this year. In all honesty i expcet to spend the next 6 to 8 months on my first 2. Yeah sad but i feel that i need that amoung of time to make my videos the way i want.
For those of you that read my rambeling that most likely make no sense and my spelling erros are numerous <--- i think its spelled wrong. but anyway thanks for taking the time to read this. -
OMG im writing again
2004-11-15 23:57:01
Ok just so everyone know there will be a little complaining sorry i just need to get it off my chest.
Well not to long ago saterday to be exact but i found out that my freind has decided that it is best for her to take and snort pills than to take her problems on head on. Ive done all i can to try and help. Ok thats not true i tried to help her with AIM. Everytime i try to see her (before all this too) i cant find her. Shes not skiping school and she does work but i can never find her. I just wish she would realize what she come to me or anyone for help....i mean i told her that im here for her when she needed anything. I mean if i could id treat her like a sister and i haven't even known her taht long. I mean i would love to do anything for her but she wont let me. Whe the hell would she do this i see no good reason for any of it.
Anyway sorry....just be glad i compressed it a ton.. I mean i could have easyly typed for hours aout that but i thought id spare you all. All of you that read this stuff that is.
Ok on the amv side of my life. well i finished my MSI Track adn im abot 50% done with my Linkin Park Revolution Project Track. Honestly i singed up for this because i felt as though i needed to make up for my fist video. I mean it was such a piece of shit that im ashamed that i even stared making amv's. Anyway my Chevelle track is going no where with a beta due next monday. Hopefuly ill be abel to scramble something together if only for the purpose of haveing a beta.
As soon as all my multi-editor projects i have to start on my Otakon entry. I do plan on taking a very long time on this video so dont expect anything for me for about 4 to 6 months. Atleast. Then i have to make my video for awa at the same time. I really need to finsih my proejects so i can start on my video...granted my winter brake is coming up fro college so ill have about a month to get really editing.
well for thouse of you whoe read this i thank you for taking the time
toji - w00t i finaly did it. 2004-08-09 16:57:39 Well i am now a proud owner of Adobe Premiere 6.5. Yes it is a legal copy. Wow i must really be board to have typed this. Meh im going back to vacation to make an ass out of myself on ddr. bwhahahahahahahah.
- Stupid Virsus 2004-08-08 11:17:35 Ok I really hate this. For the second time in a year i have to reformat my hard drive. A virus got onto my computer from a dl'd file which then attached its self to another file, making it hard as hell to find. Well i did find it it was just that it fucked up my computer. I can still do everythin but one thing. EDIT. Oh well im in the process of getting a "legal" copy of Premiere. Yes im paying for it just not the 500 i normaly would have to pay for it. Oh well not like im really in an editing mood at the momment. Im planning just not editing. Could be worse i guess.
JOURNAL: Toji Fujawara (Bryan Moon)
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