JOURNAL: MCWagner (Matthew Wagner)

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  • "Ursala talk later...George busy right now..." 2002-11-27 22:53:40 Why yes, I am watching the movie version of "George of the Jungle" on the Disney channel right now. Actually, this is the third time around for me catching bits and pieces of it.

    How on earth did this film manage to NOT SUCK? I mean, hell, it's starring Brendan Frasier, a man who's kept his star status IN SPITE of his career rather than because of it. I dunno. Not a great work of art, but thoroughly entertaining all the way through. I might be biased since I used to watch the late 60's cartoon religiously. It had the same snappy, clever humor as the Rocky and Bullwinkle crowd, but with enough consistent slapstick to hold my attention. Hell, they even got the Tooki-tooki bird in there, and the interaction with the narrator is just classic for those cartoons.

    Narrator: "Stay right here? But George was king of the Jungle! No four walls made by man could contain HIM!"

    George: "That not true! George have every intention of doing just as Ursula say!"

    Narrator: "Really?"

    George: "Well...for a little while."

    Anyway, George of the Jungle was one of the top three 'toons I always watched out for. Made a six-year old feel smart. Along with Super Chicken (Damn, I wish I'd managed at some point to actually memorize that theme song when I was eight...it was always the one that defeated me.) and Tom Slick they made up a block on the local Saturday morning cartoons. Funny how it never snuck into Cartoon Network, I'd have thought those rights would have been cheap to come by. (Hunh. Just found out that all three shows had the same VA for the lead. Bill Scott. Who also did Bullwinkle...and half a dozen other main voices.)

    Anyway...on to more expensive animation. I realized a little after the last post that I hadn't kept ya'll up on my opinions of the unfolding GITS TV series. Since I KNOW ya'll hang on my every word and use it to dictate the social status of all shows ( :) ) I realized I had to keep ya' up or you might be caught in the awkward social situation of being uncertain if you should publicly like a show or not.

    So, did it stay good? Allow me to quote Brainiac: "Look, all I want are some Pants. A DECENT PAIR OF PANTS!"

    Actually, I'm being continually surprised with the low-key nature of the episodes thus far. The roller-derby shoot-up of the second episode notwithstanding, the episodes show very little actual violence or battles...again the way in which a truly efficient elite police force would work. The third episode presents itself as something of an enigma from any angle you come at it. A handful of old-model personal-servant ghostless-bots are "committing suicide"...walking into deep water, grabbing live wires, or similar self-destruction methods. The show, atypical of anime, does not then go into a weird little screed wherein the bots turn out to have committed suicide to get away from abusive masters or anything so melodramatic (they are just robots after all), they've just been infected with a computer virus. An investigation follows (employing neat tech' gadgets, but no spectacular action scenes) and a suspect determined. The suspect, meanwhile, packs up his own model of the robot, all the while reciting how much he loves her, and they take off in his car. A couple of clever, but not dangerous, chase moves later, and the cops corner him...whereupon the robot disables and turns him in. And then, it's revealed that the two of them had just been reciting lines from a film...except for the last bit. What does it mean? Thus far it's left to the audience's imagination. Could be foreshadowing the independent "ghost" nature of the puppetmaster (if he's actually in this series) or it could just be a melancholy "throwaway" episode.

    The fourth ep. was even better. It looks like they're getting into the meat of the series now, with the very front end of a conspiracy puzzle starting to open up for the department, involving covert illegal maneuvers within other departments. (It's even a beauracratic "warrant" issue involving covert surveillance that tips their hand.) I won't go into it, but suffice to say that the department under suspicion is just as adept at maneuvering and manipulating the politics of the situation as Aramaki is, and they make a quick sacrifice to divert media attention from whatever's really going on. The neat thing is what happens when the cover-up begins. During the press conference to assign responsibility, the hacker involved in the first case hacks into the cybernetic body of one of the officials at the meeting and makes a condescending speech to the other officials in front of all the cameras....except he hacked all the newsfeeds as well and stuck his signature "smiley" over the head of the body he 'jacked simultaneously. Damn cool piece of work, yeah?

    I do have to complain once again about Kusanagi's outfit, though. It appears that as the sole female member of the team, Kusanagi's work clothes do, in fact, consist of a biker's jacket, white bustier, clear latex stockings (judging by the shine), leather boots, and a thong. Sore thumb city. (Oh, and she's wearing the thermoptics almost constantly.) It just grates on me. A series so thought-intensive and plodding in development has her walking through it just triggers a cognitive dissonance in me that pulls me outta the show every time she enters the scene. So far, though, she's barely got more scenes than Aramaki or any of the others. Bateau seems more of a central character at this point. I'm really disliking the youngin'in job they did on her too. I mean, I know she could be any age she wanted, but the general stance and figure they gave her in the comics always struck me as very-late 20's/early 30's. The film extended that slightly to around mid-thirties. The TV show, though, has dropped her almost a decade, down in the "demographic" range of very late-teen's to very-early 20's. That, and her lines place her in the "cocksure teenager" category for me. It just grates. In conclusion, then, I like everything about the show except the main character. Heh.

    I really should send a thanks by way of Quu for providing a forum for the group to watch GITS. The other shows we're watching on Mondays are Hack (when we can locate the last few), Guu, "My Girlfriend...(uh..don't want to give away really cool plot involved in story through title...it's the same one ErMaC was talking about a while back)", Chobits (bleh), and "Here and There, Now and Then." High, high quality stuff. I'd say that drama had once again made a comeback in anime...but I'm pretty sure it was always there and I've just missed the best examples the last few times. The last one is especially excellent, and one of the few shows that everyone shuts up for. Deathly silence is a rarity in our group (all right, I admit it, I'm one of the worst offenders...but I'm pretty quiet and everyone seems to be appreciative...so tell them to stop encouraging me) and a welcome event for the powerful, painful scenes of HTNT. We watched the third episode this week, and the treatment of Sarah....let's just say the pure strength of depiction and desperation of the scenes involving her put that other over-melodramatic crap anime to shame. Also adds more than a touch of cynical legitimacy to the situation. Up till then, you could almost take the whole "kids at war" with a Gundam-Wing-inspired aspect of fun. More and more I appreciate Zabet's "Blackbird" video, and it's quickly climbing up my "best of all time" list. It started out in the top 10 and is now fast approaching the top 5. (Sorry, I don't give OP's, since I'm a contest director.) Tough competition up there, though. What with "Why me", "Turn on the Light," "Girls with Guns," "Momma said" and Jingoro's FFS, there's little room for newcomers. :)

    Oh. Buffy. Yeah, I was hella wrong. I'd feel stupid for not recognizing the cultists earlier...except I don't think I ever saw the episode where Buffy fought them before. There are a few back in the annals that I just never caught, and I guess they were in there. I suppose "The first evil" should be a good series-ender. We'll have to see how it plays out.

    This is probably going to be an atypically-short post, because most of my thoughts have actually been caught up in politics as of late. A subject that never held any fascination for me in the least until...well, guess... but it's now occupying most of my critical facility, and just in this last week the amount of bullshit I've stumbled into from the other side of the aisle has me so utterly staggered that I don't trust myself to start talking about any aspect of it lest I wander off into a world o' screed and end up offending half my readers.

    Not that that's ever concerned me before...

    But I don't feel like granting the topic the proper amount of attention it would take to elevate it above the rote recitation I hate so much and taking it to the level of beneficial debate that would serve some purpose. Right now I'd rather just shout "U R STOOOOOPID" and throw shit, followed by the IR victory dance.

    Be thankful I'm sparing you this. I don't dance pretty.

    I'm also avoiding this because I've discovered that many individuals I respect highly for other fields hold opinions diametrically opposed to my own, and I dislike driving wedges between myself and my creative idols. It took me a long time to accept the hideous, vitriolic bigot that HPL was, but I've assimilated the fact and can enjoy his work despite it. (Yes, I know it shouldn't matter if it doesn't affect the works themselves, but it's still a nagging thing in the back of my head. If Stephen King turned out to be a furvert, you'd look at Cujo a lot differently...and be glad it ended where it did. It's like the first time you found out about tentacle hentai.) Anyway, one artist I've talked about here in the past has already had a public political explosion that's driven one such wedge, and I doubt I'll ever be able to listen to those works in the same light again.

    On the other hand, that's just how I feel tonight. I'll probably dive straight into the shitpile some other time.

    So, what will I do instead? Well, I doubt it'll challenge nails "best journal post ever" (kidding) but I'll go ahead and review the latest Harry Potter flick.

    Short version: if you liked the first one and you don't mind the scary stuff, this one is even better than the last. Harry returns to Hogwarts and to a strange mystery involving "The Chamber of Secrets." I don't think I'll even bother with a full plot review here, 'cause, let's face it, if you're any kind of worthwhile human being, you've already read the book.

    The film is really damn fun. It's also, however, a little under 2.5 hours, so make a trip to the can beforehand and go easy on the supergulp. (I never get food at the flicks or I'd be running out halfway through or getting popcorn hulls stuck in my teeth. Those suckers HURT.) The storyline follows the second book almost letter-for-letter. I think. See, I haven't read the book in over two years now, so I'm a little hazy on the details. Actually, this is probably the best way to see the film, 'cause I knew the general arc of the story, but couldn't piece together all of the elements in my head to form the complete plot. I kept forgetting important moments. I kept realizing, along with the kids in the audience, what was happening at exactly the point I was supposed to, but still had enough inkling of what was to come to look out and look forward to each event. It was all "oh yeah, spiders!" or "oh yeah...parselmouth!" or "oh yeah...boneless!" (That bit was actually a little disturbing...) Hell, I couldn't even remember who'd been responsible for the whole thing until it was directly TOLD to me.

    Just about everything from the book was in the film. The only bits missing that I could spot (understandable considering its already enormous length) was that the time Harry spent at the Weasely's was considerably compressed down to a few days. That was a bit disappointing, as I rather looked forward to the development of the Weasely family and seeing the everyday life of a "regular magical family." Less disappointing was the truncating of Harry's time with his Uncle, but no one misses that part. The awarding of the house cup was cut from the very end of the film...and replaced with a rather stupid Disney-esqe group hug to the applause of the main hall. (Really, a rather dumb note to end on. The film suddenly felt like a kid's flick again.) There was some talking with Dumbeldore about Voldemort "passing on" some of his power to Harry during their first battle that I don't remember, but that could be my memory playing tricks. But, other than that, everything else was there. Hell, they even kept the Mandrake-repotting class in the script. (Incidentally, that is roughly what a Mandrake root looks like. I saw one that had been confiscated from a witch in the early 1500's on display in the German torture museum in Linz. It's roughly man-shaped, about seven inches tall, and sort of wooden-fiberous-looking. The real things were pretty rare, as the root only occasionally grows in that shape.)

    I've said previously that I felt the first book really was the worst written of the four so far, and I think this film bares that out. In contrast to this film, you can plainly see the "seam" running through the middle of the first film, with the "Harry makes good" on one side and the "Voldemort is back" on the other. This film is pretty straightforwardly only the main story, since all the introductions and "a school of magic...how strange!" was taken care of previously. In fact, now that I think of it, this film implicitly assumes that you've seen the first one or read some of the books! No sidelong explanation of Quiddich for the first-timers, no elbow-in-the-side introduction of characters...nothing! A kid's film that doesn't stop to explain things to the audience like they were idiots! How encouraging! (By the way, I have a bunch of lab-mates who refused to see it on opening day because "the theater would be full of whining kids." I've heard this sentiment several times. It's all crap. The kids in the showing I went to, and in last year's film, were the ones all shushing the adults! I heard one peep from the kids in the whole film, and that was out of surprise ("It's Doby!" from the back row right at the very end). When children are taken to see a film that they actually want to watch, and it doesn't talk down to them and treat them like idiots, they're much better behaved than anyone gives them credit for. Everyone give them some credit, huh? They were a hell of a lot more polite than the idiot teenagers that came in halfway through talking up a storm...and whichever one of them flipped the lights on for a half second would have had me to deal with if I'd had any idea where the switch was.)

    There are two things to note, however. First off, this film is a lot darker than the first one. Scary even. The monster in the chamber is damn big and threatening, and chomps down on Harry in one scene. None of this "Giant Chessboard" 60's Batman-esqe danger here. Nope, there's violent chase scenes during the Quiddich where it's perfectly evident that a slip-up would have killed someone, the monster could give a kid nightmares, two of the main characters end up in the hospital (or rough equivalent), bones are broken, paralyzed bodies are found, lives hang in the balance, the monster gets its eyes gouged out (in silhouette) and the whole film is full of snakes and spiders. Heck, some would argue that the whole "Mudblood" thing is too much for kids. (Again with the no credit.)

    Second, much of the end plot feels like a deus-ex machina device, even though it's not. Most of the end events were foreshadowed through events or lines early in the film, but those said with so little note that they passed you by with no notice, likely not remembered at the end. Oh, OK, there's a little bit of deus-ex in there, but it is a kid's fantasy film. I cut it slack in that department. Although the literal deus-ex machina in the form of the Weasely's car did press that slack a bit far.

    The actors all do a good job. The kids, especially, are notably better in their roles this time around. (Harry himself improved the most, I think, although there's still some work to be done there.) Ron turned really damn whiny in this one, which I don't remember from the book, but it played well enough. Wimped him up from the first film, though. I hate to say it, but I really don't like Dumbledore. The whole film he sorta looked like he might collapse and die right there in front of you, when I always thought of him as a sprightly old man. I have a great Uncle the actor reminds me of, and we've been astonished year after year at how firmly he hangs on to life despite his failing health. Unfortunately, it seems this impression (in the film) is not unwarranted, as Richard Harris died this last October of Hodgkin's disease. It's ironic, considering when he was looking over the part he asked his agent if there was any way to get out of the contract after it had been signed.

    "Sure" he said. "You could die."

    Hmm. What else. Oh yeah, Moaning Myrtle. Her character is perhaps the weirdest thing in the film, so naturally, I love it. The ghost haunting the second floor girl's bathroom is, naturally, CG, but it's a superimposition of an actual actress. It's fairly obvious that Myrtle's lines were redubbed after being shoved tail-first through a sound editor. The speech came out not-so-subtley "off" which weirded it all the more. The actress does a good job in that she manages to weird it up and be totally different from the other characters. She was an OK character in the book, but she positively stands out in the film. (Not a great job...just a thoroughly weird one..weird weird weird...there. Got it outta my system.)

    John Cleese is wasted here. I think he got three lines total and most were at the concluding banquet. He plays a much bigger part in the third book, IIRC, so I'll look forward to that.

    And Doby. Well, he was a bit of a weak point, through no fault of his own. The house-elf was CG as well, but this was entirely a computer creation. The key for quality with CG live-action melds is always in the edges, where the characters interact with the world. This was accomplished nicely, with no real visible "seams" or points where things didn't mesh properly. Considering the amount of interaction (bouncing on the bed, opening drawers, etc.) this is quite an accomplishment. However, when interacting with Harry, Harry could have used some work. It's fairly plain that he's not looking at the character, but where he was told to look. Eyes don't really follow Doby's progress, hands sorta flail in the wrong areas, etc. Either Harry needs some work, of the CG guys didn't have the general dimensions of the character ready for the director before the scene. Eh. Minor point.

    I think that's everything. Gonna start packing for the Thanksgiving stuff with parents now. It'll be good to get out of this room, but I just know I'm gonna end up bored outta my head.
     
  • *Beep* …I am …Cloneborg…9. 2002-11-21 23:44:30 Back once again, from a session of horrible neglect. Entries here keep getting more and more irregular. I suppose I should mention that I tend to go in cycles with my hobbies, spending as much as a year on each individual one before cycling along to another. Could be that my urge to analyze movies is starting to wane... At the very least I'm starting to regard mount DVD as something of an annoyance, as it never seems to get any shorter, and my anime/TV needs are fulfilled by the weekly dose at Quu's and the few shows I still catch on TV.

    Let's see, I still catch Buffy (when Buffy and Angel started both heading downhill simultaneously, I didn't want to waste two hours a week on shows that might not be getting any better, so I picked just one and stuck with it. Everyone is telling me I picked the wrong one...) and the announcement that this will be the final season of BtVS has added a bit more flavor to the weekly offerings, although several episodes were rather predictable and forced (and I commented on the utter lameness of the "Dark Pheonix cop-out" from the end of fourth season). Major, utter spoiler to everyone who watches the show. Just skip to the next paragraph if you're spoiler sensitive. You see, I think I've figured out who the major baddie is this time around. There's really only three things it could be. The return of a villain from the end of a previous season, which would be dumb and lame (The Master...most plausible and a nice cyclic-end, but still cheap. Spike and Drusilla...romance angst...did that with Angel, repetitive. Angel...good guy now. Adam or Glory or the Mayor...really sucky dumb. Willow or the three geeks...kinda nixed at the beginning of the episode.). Next, it would be the Devil himself. Erg. Lame, silly, falling to the Japanese horror-fault of "for the final season, the stakes are the world!", and besides...he just appeared in Angel, and I don't think they're doing a crossover. Or the final option...Death. Potentially not as sucky dumb, since there's a lot of interpretations open. Think about it, all of the "mysterious origin" nasties that have shown up thus far this season are undead, ghosts, etc. And the villain, insofar as (s)he/it's been revealed, has appeared in the form of dead cast members. There is one thing that convinced me of this theory (until disproven), however. In her conversation with Willow, the faux-one-shot dead girl lets slip a line about "not caring about balancing the scales any more." A) That's a really nice reference to some of the traditional concepts of Death as a culler of the world. B) Something like that phrase was told to Willow near the end of the last season when Tara (poor, annoyingly-badly-written lesbian) died and Willow tried to get her back. The face of Death (manifest as Osiris, Egyptian god of death) made some mention of "the scales must be balanced" when Willow tried to force Tara back. C) In Egyptian mythology, the scales are used by Osiris to judge the worthiness of a dead spirit to pass into the afterlife. (FYI, there was no concept of "Hell" as such. The unworthy were given to crocodile-like "eater of the dead" to be consumed.) So, yeah. Someone makes a tiny little slip-up in a comedic fantasy pop-culture TV show, and I'm there to exploit it. :).

    Then there's Adult Swim (just the sunday version) getting more and more irregular with each installment. Really not sure what to think at this point. (Holy Crap! Don Knotts was a voice on Ripping Friends?)

    Catch the Sopranos if I happen to trip over it. Whole show is going to hell presently. Uh, as in the story is being well told and acted, but all the characters are digging themselves deeper and more irreversibly dooming themselves.

    That's pretty much it. I don't even really have a reason to turn to the Sci Fi channel anymore since they cancelled Farscape. (Bastards killed The Invisible Man (OK, that one was running out of material), Farscape (inexcusable), and MST3K (inconcieveable). They've got exactly half a strike left, and that's only because they showed the utter weirdness of Lexx all the way out to the (non-premature) end.) The only thing worth watching on there anymore is the reruns of Brimstone at three in the morning (John Glover is the best interpretation of the Devil...EVAH), and the occasional crappy horror flick. Cartoon Network has become my new default channel for background noise when I'm gaming (precious little of that) or constantly distracting me when I'm writing these little missives.

    Hrm. Other stuff. I've restarted going to the weekly gaming sessions again. (Yeah, you latecomers might not know I'm a D&D geek.) One of the campaigns just went epic, and I've come to the sudden discovery that Epic level druids SUCK. Our DM is being generous and allowing some pretty non-standard manners of prerequisite acquisition so everyone doesn't have to work our way up twelve levels to start qualifying for the stuff that makes Epic neat (which is sorta missing the point, as Epic is supposed to support characters all the way on their way towards the unheard-of heights of three-digit levels) but the net effect on me & mine is to just screw me over further. It doesn't help that I alone among the group didn't own (or hadn't read) the Epic rulebook before last week, and thus had no idea what I should have been working towards with my paltry 5 skill points a level. Kinda tossed to the wolves on this one. That weekly group consists of the spitting image of BA from KODT (the GM of course), two rules-lawyers, a rank novice, a background-watcher, a guy who cheats so regularly that we've just given up bothering to ferret out his inconsistencies, and me. (I think the cheat’s up to twelve prestige classes in 22 levels. Geez.) It actually levels us all out pretty well as a group, other than the fact that some of us (rules lawyers and cheater) are plainly better power-gaming constructed characters than the rest, and are thus operating four or five levels above the rest of us through careful manipulation of the rules. Actually reminds me of my lack of skizzles in Warcraft, only in a friendlier manner. Eh, I don't mind. Only difficulty is that the character I'm running has somehow gone this long without taking a strong shape in my mind, personality and purpose-wise. Just sort of a tagalong for the group, taking his licks and blows for no better reason than that's where the action is. Kinda dull, really, but I can't think of a way to spice him up without getting cheesy, or doing something that'll take six levels to make any difference.

    So, I know what you all want to hear. You want to hear a movie review! And not just any review, but a review of a year-long anticipated film involving magic, sorcerers, and a chamber of secrets.

    So I'm going to review 8-mile. (Ha! Had ya going!)

    The primary reason is that I haven't seen HP:TCoS yet. Buncha stuff going on this last weekend kept me away from the theaters. Kinda ironic, too, 'cause I went to see 8-mile on Thursday night, which was HP's opening night, but I'd forgotten all about it. Basically, there was a tougher-than-normal run at the experiments on Wednesday such that they ran from 2:00 PM to 8:00 AM the following morning. Crashed at 9:00 AM, woke up at 5:30 PM. What the hell do you do when you wake up at 5:30, but have to be up at 7:00 the next morning? Well, you go catch a late movie and try to time your sleep schedule to correct itself.

    So why the hell did I see this movie? I suppose I should list off the caveats to this review before I start.

    I am in no way the target audience for this film. I don't know from rap. I’ve nothing against the medium, per say, although its practitioners do seem to contribute more than their fair share of the “homicide scandal” quota. (For all the supposed violence inherent in the punk scene of the 80’s, the only homicidal violence associated with the performers themselves (that I can recall) was the little “Sid and Nancy” incident.) I’ve enjoyed many of the rap AMVs out there in the past, and, if I try, I can generally get into the groove of the music itself, it’s just nothing I’ve ever spent my own money on. I own no rap albums of any stripe (hell, I don’t own that many albums to start with…) and don’t really plan to.

    Even with that said, I’m still outside the target audience. I’ve never lived in a solidly “city” environment…hell, I grew up in the backwoods of Indiana (our house was on three solid acres of forest…even had deer and wild turkeys in our backyard) which is about as far removed from the typical urban environ of most rap as can be imagined. Compared to the setting of this movie, where I grew up looked like 50’s suburbia paradise. Now I live in Atlanta, and yet I still know about as little about rap as one can know and still live in the Atl area. That is, I’ve heard quite a bit of it, found a few songs I like, spotted the rather overblown hyperbole of weekly concern over Eminem, etc. I know who Marshal Mathers is, Busta Rhymes, L.L.Cool J. (who lost all of my respect when I found out about his “can’t be the ‘black guy who dies’ in horror films” contractual clause. Dude, immunity in a horror flick ain’t cool. Everyone else’s head is on the chopping block here…what gives you such privilege?), Tupac, Beastie Boys, etc. etc. etc., but never got interested enough to really pursue songs on CD rather than just encounter them randomly on the radio.

    So why this film?

    Frankly, I was curious. I mistook it at first to be an autobiographical account, and that alone was interesting enough to get my attention, as Mathers has expressed more than a little hostility towards his mother in past songs…even going so far as to accuse her of Munchausen-by-proxy (Munchausen-ism is a disorder where the patient makes themselves sick over and over again to get medical attention. Munchausen-by-proxy is when a patient gets the attention by surreptitiously making someone ELSE sick (usually their child) and has resulted in some truly weird and truly tragic cases of child death. Remember “The Sixth Sense?” That was Munchausen-by-proxy.) I don’t know any of the actual facts of the matter, but that was, simply enough, an interesting enough subject to catch my attention. After I realized that it wasn’t autobiographical (at least not in content, although an argument can be made for theme) I was still rather interested in what, exactly, Eminem would DO with a feature film. It certainly didn’t look like the ludicrously hopped-up action flicks of backstreet drug deals and street deaths that typify most of the rapper-starring or inspired flicks. Once the actual reviews started rolling in, I was stunned to find them almost all positive. Rottentomatoes.com gave the flick a 74%! (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/8Mile-1116055/) Sit back a second and think what that means. 3/4 of all online reviewers out there LIKED a film starring a white rapper who has managed to offend nearly every offend-able group out there. This was just too much for my curiosity. So I went and saw the flick.

    This is a good film.

    Yeah. I’m as surprised as you are. (Moreso, probably) First off, the title. “8-mile” is apparently a road in Detroit that runs right between the more affluent areas of town from the more industrialized neighborhoods, which still has burnt-out areas left over from the race-riots of the 60’s. The movie focuses in these poorer neighborhoods around “Jimmy Smith Jr.” who prefers to go by his nickname “Rabbit” (with “Bunny Rabbit” as his stage-name). The nickname is appropriate, as I got the impression throughout the film that it was the one thing he wasn’t doing…”rabbiting.” He wasn’t running off and leaving his problems, although it was pretty clear he wanted to. Jimmy starts off the film trying to psych himself up for a “battle” at the local bargain-basement venu, “The Shelter,” little more than an open dirt-floor basement with a 3-foot high stage and a plywood bench for the audio gear. The “battle” is a weekly or bi-weekly rap competition run by Jimmy’s friend “Future” where two rappers square off against one another and each gets 45 seconds of music and verse to destroy their opponent through elaborate insults, jokes, and put-downs. (I would make some comment here about it being a rap version of “the dozens,” but, frankly, the term “the dozens” has always struck me as a name imposed on a carefree social interchange by some musty academics regarding cultural behavior with the same regard one might give insect mating habits. The game’s hardly a frickin’ institution with wrote standards. Stop trying to categorize everything.) The winner is determined by the audience, and they can be harsh as hell. After getting so nervous he throws up in the filthy restrooms, he gets his turn on stage. All of his friends are there to see him. The MC of the battle is plainly behind him and vouches for him to the crowd.

    And he chokes. He can’t think of a single thing to say.

    This, I think, is what surprised everyone in the audience and the reviewers. Not that he chokes in the beginning, we expected that as a start to the story arc. What’s surprising is that this film was not made to make Eminem look good. The character he plays is pathetic and pitiable for most of the film, without there being any real kind of “enemy” that made him this way. He doesn’t actually like rapping in front of people who aren’t his friends. Right after he chokes onstage, we find out that he’d just broken up with his girlfriend, and all his belongings are in a plastic garbage bag behind a dumpster at “The Shelter.” He tells his friends that “she said she was pregnant” (his friends roll their eyes) “So I left her the car.” That’s just fucking pathetic. And then…the ultimate indignity for a twenty-something kid in the city.

    He has to move back in with his mom.

    Man. AND when he shows up at his mom’s (Kim Basinger…looking pretty sozzed and out-of-it for most of the film) trailer, he walks in on her having sex….with one of his old classmates from high school. Damnnnn….

    Eminem plays the pale, wan figure with a surprising subtlety throughout the film. Now I should be really clear on this point. I think a great deal of the praise Mathers has gotten for his performance here comes from the utter shock of finding out that he DIDN’T SUCK. I’ve read reviews praising him up and down for being such a great actor, but I really think it’s due to the reviewer expecting that absolute crapfest we get from other crossovers, like Mariah Carey. He’s good, but I don’t think we should be expecting Mathers to take up Othello as his next project. This is not a terrifically challenging role. Throughout the film, Rabbit has about two gears: Angry; and that sort of wide-eyed, slack jawed regard for the world that’s hard to put an actual term to. (Think of a time when you were hanging out with friends and someone got of a zinger on you that actually stung. You know that moment when you stand there with your eyes wide open trying to decide between feeling insulted and returning with your own zinger…but you can’t think of anything? Sorta the “neutral until I actually decide how I feel about this” feeling? That’s sorta the expression that Eminem puts out for most of the film.) Surprisingly, though, Mathers makes the character entirely believable with only this limited range. He feels much more like an actual human being you might know than an actor. Hell, a couple of times he out-acts Basinger in their scenes because his delivery lacks the polish and measure we’ve grown to expect from film, and he ends up seeming more “legitimate” because of it. When he blows up at his mom it’s the sudden and unexpected explosion of someone who is just fed up and tired of being reasonable. Actually, this could be said of nearly everyone in the film…which says a lot for director Curtis Hanson (who also directed “LA Confidential”…and Greg the Bunny…weird.).

    The story itself has a sort of slow, everyday pace which, when combined with the acting, makes the film all the more believable. Most notable, to me anyway, was the distinct lack of clichés in the film. This isn’t a “racial strife” film with people lining up against Rabbit ‘cause he’s white in a predominantly black neighborhood. (Conversely, it’s not ignored, either, since his being white provides a lot of ammo for opponents in the “battles.”) It’s not a “mixed couple” film with Rabbit falling for a black girl and strife ensuing from the “people who just don’t understand.” It’s not a “man tryin’ to keep us down” film since the boss at Rabbit’s work turns out to be reasonable and even helpful by the end. It’s not a “police brutality” film as the only encounter with the police is a hilarious incident involving a paintball gun and a stalling car where we don’t even see the cops themselves. (I guess if I just said that “Spike Lee didn’t direct it” that woulda covered everything.) It’s not a “gangbanger” film, as the “gang” Rabbit belongs to is just a group of friends, and the only one who brought a gun to a fight they got in was a retarded man who snuck his mom’s gun out of the house. (The fight immediately stopped, and everyone told him to put it away.) It’s not a “philosophy of life” story, as the only philosophizing in the film gets an appropriate response. (“Rabbit…it’s 7 o’clock in the morning…”) It’s not even a “got out of the slums” story, ‘cause by the end, Rabbit is really only a little better off than when he started.

    So what the hell is left? What’s left is about a week of watching a guy try to get his life in order. At the start of the film Rabbit has practically nothing besides his pride and his self-respect, and precious little of that. Trying to keep ahold of his pride actually causes him the most strife in the film. When his mom gives him her old beat-up car, his pride and long-standing grudge with his mom won’t let him even offer a hollow “thank you.” When his friend Future keeps trying to nudge him back into another “battle” he actually gets pissed at his friends for trying to help him out. At work, he knows his job is shitty (he’s working an enormous molded-part press-cutter for car panels) and his pride keeps getting in the way of his making a good impression with his boss. He remains terminally embarrassed at having to live with his mom, and is mortified when his new girlfriend finds out.

    His mom is another matter altogether. She evidently had Rabbit when she was pretty young, and has another kid (Lilly, about six) whom she neglects fairly regularly. She’s a pretty solid drunk (getting wasted in response to her problems…I’d say she was alcoholic, but we really don’t see her for long enough) who thinks the only way out of her problems is to shack up with someone who’ll take care of everything. She goes to Bingo religiously in the hopes that it’ll sort out her problems for her. From Rabbit’s comments, we can be pretty sure she’s never bothered looking for work herself.

    Rabbit’s friends are where we can find a few stereotypes. They’re all aspiring rappers…but they’re aspiring in the same way that I’m an aspiring writer. They’re always talking about how they’re gonna get discovered and have all this money and “hoes,” but this group of mid-20-somethings all still live with their moms and work towards being professional artists even less than Rabbit’s half-hearted attempts. There’s the “fat guy,” the guy with dreads (Future), the “guy with an angle” (Wink), and the “Tupac inspired” pundit. (The last guy is constantly spouting political-ish lines to the annoyance of everyone else, and kept distracting one of the girls from Future’s advances.) Then there’s Chedder Bob. The guy appears mildly autistic (although that could just be my impression from my Mom’s work) or at least mentally retarded, and is sort of tolerated by the rest of the group as a tagalong, despite the fact he does little but get the group in trouble. The sad thing is that he evidently realizes this, and really can’t stand the pity and ridicule, but he has nothing else going for him. So he tags along and does his best to hang out and blend in…to rather pathetic effect.

    For real stereotypes, look to “the enemy.” Naturally, there’s another group of rappers who call themselves “Free World” who are basically everything Rabbit and his friends aren’t. They ride around in an enormous shiny black truck, dressed in expensive matching black leather outfits, challenging other people to battles, getting into fights, and generally acting like the stereotypical gangster-rappers you see in videos and other films. In all honesty, it comes off as ludicrous parody set against the very realistic backdrop already in place, and the other characters all regard it as such.

    Then, there’s the girl. Hokay, I’m going to have to say right here that Brittany Murphy’s character is HOT in this film, which may have blinded me a bit to any flaws in her acting. But still…..dayummm…

    Anyway, she comes strolling into the film as the love interest for Rabbit, and gets the attention of every guy in the room. So is Rabbit smooth with the ladies? Does he sweep her off her feet? Have you been listening? Yeah, she makes almost all the moves here, approaching him, inviting herself along, etc. There’s a particularly characteristic moment at a party where she’s dancing (rather provocatively) with another girl, and Rabbit….is sitting mutely on the couch with Future. Shy as hell. Or not about to believe his luck.

    Sheez, that’s a lot of main characters to introduce.

    The plot itself winds around, in, and among all of these characters. He and his friends hang out a lot. He hooks up with Alex. Wink is constantly assuring Rabbit that he knows someone who knows someone….who can get them free recording time and an audition with a big producer. They run afoul of “Free World” (reigning champs at “the battles”) a couple of times. Rabbit runs into his ex...in a scene that still has me puzzled. They burn down a derelict house (supposedly out of civil awareness…but really ‘cause they had nothing better to do). Rabbit’s mom gets an eviction notice and her BF gets in a fight with Rabbit. Wink turns traitor and gives the “hook up” to Free World. Alex….uh….”leaves” Rabbit. Rabbit finally gets some respect at work. Rabbit gets the shit kicked outta him. His mom wins at Bingo. Rabbit finally decides to participate in the “battle” Future set up for him at The Shelter.

    Most interesting, though, is the character development of Rabbit, and it’s rather brilliantly brought to a head during his final “battle.” You’re not going to believe the actual theme of this film.

    Acceptance of personal responsibility.

    No, really. There are a few things that point directly at it. Comments he makes to his friends about how they’re just living with their moms and never doing anything but talking about being rap stars. Stronger? How about how the film draws attention to the point when, at work, Rabbit stops saying “I’m sorry, it’s not my fault” to “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” Stronger? The final “battle.”

    Rabbit comes onto the scene in the first of three battles like a thunderstorm. For the first time in the film we see the Eminem we recognize. Cocky, snide, fast-talking, hyperactive, clever rhyming, and above all, insulting. He expertly fends off the “bunny” comments and parries the “Ward Cleaver” retort, eliminating the first two battles with laughable ease. As I said before, I don’t really know from rap, but this I enjoyed. The problem is, though, that “Free World” wasn’t about to loose the third battle….and they pretty much knew everything there was to know about Rabbit. Everything he was embarrassed or humiliated about. So in the final battle, Rabbit does the only thing he can do. He preempts the attack by accepting everything about his life that he hates. The first half (the final battle is twice as long) of his attack takes away all the targets. In rapid-fire succession, he says “yeah, I’m white trash. Yeah I live with my mom. Yeah, my friend’s a retard. Yeah my job sucks…and you guys got a shot at an album…and you fucked my girlfriend…and you and six friends beat the shit outta me last night…but you know what?” I’ll leave the details on the counterattack for those of you who actually want to see the film.

    Still not convinced about the theme? Rabbit just won back his self respect, beat Free World, and his friends are all gathered around. No, there’s no big prize…or any prize at all…for winning the battle, but it’s still an accomplishment. So what does he do?

    He goes back to work the late shift.

    A positive theme from Eminem. Who’d ‘a guessed?

    So, in conclusion, a surprisingly good film starring a white rapper. Subtle drama from a genre area normally known for overblown action and ruthless gunbattles. Not the best film of the year. Maybe not in the top ten. But easily in the top twenty, and a breath of fresh air from repetitive PC clichés.

    Now, the outside issues. I mentioned before that this film wasn’t made to make Eminem look good…but there’s a caveat to that. Rabbit is shown as being good with his little sister, Lilly, who is pretty much stuck in the middle of her mother’s whirlwind.

    And, on the job, Rabbit does a sort of improve-battle in which he, in part, defends a gay co-worker and a female co-worker. The female starts it off by suddenly breaking into a rap at the lunch-stand complaining about this and that while a small crowd gathers. Another guy steps in at a lull and begins “taking down” the woman fairly thoroughly. Striking out at random in the crowd, he nails a few people, and then starts ridiculing one of the workers for being gay. Rabbit steps in at another lull, and publicly eviscerates the sap. (Actual rapping from Rabbit is limited to about four times in the film…this is not a musical.) The incident and some of the lines are just forced enough that it’s evident we’re supposed to take specific notice of the defense. “Look! Eminem is defending a gay guy! We must have been wrong about the homophobic thing!”

    Hokay, this is the part where I get myself in trouble. Once more, I do not know from rap. OK? But, from the songs I’ve heard, and from the reports I’ve encountered, the racist/misogynistic/homosexual-bigoted (homophobia, I think, is something of a misnomer) accusations directed towards Marshall Mathers are misplaced.

    Wait.

    From my understanding, what Eminem did when he created the persona of “Slim Shady” was take all the sort of directionless rage everyone feels in the course of the day and just tear the lid off of it. No-holds-barred, no-self-censoring, vitriolic spite directed impotently at the world (KNOWING that it was all unjustified) in a rapid-fire stream of insults, parallels, and unabashed anger. If you get fired from your job, even if it’s your fault, you’ve got all this (wrongly) self-righteous anger directed impotently at your boss. Your brain perceives the situation properly, but there’s the little daemon in the back of your head that refuses to listen. If you actually opened your mouth and spoke for the daemon, I think we all know the sort of astonishingly foul, bigoted things that would start streaming out. (Short perusal of an online “flame-war” should show a couple of instances.) God help the poor woman firing a man (or vice versa…which seems to get pity from no-one) or the gay man firing a straight man. Frankly, it’s just a sign of your strength of personality and tendency towards self-importance. Eminem just made it rhyme and set it to music. Why? Because nothing else he was doing was selling very well. This little musical stunt struck a chord with the world, not because of the homophobic, misogynistic, bigoted people out there, but because it was a frank look at that sort of directionless rage people feel towards things in the world when it isn’t going their way, never intending to actually act on them. Hell, lots of kids hate their parents at times. At their worst moments kids might mutter in the back of their heads about killing their brother or sister, but NEVER EVER actually consider doing it. That little flash of indignant rage from being told for the third time to put down the videogame and do your homework. That’s human nature. Eminem sings about killing his mom, and A) the kids can understand it in that context…stupid rage that cycles out of the system almost as quickly as it’s perceived, B) the kids are relieved to find out that they’re not the only ones who feel like this sometimes, and C) the kids are reassured that what THEY’RE thinking is only half as bad as what Eminem is SAYING… so there are people with a lot worse little daemons in the back of their head.

    Now, how do you explain all this to a parent who finds an Eminem album in their kid’s room with the song about killing his mom? “Little Billy probably feels like that sometimes?” Oh yeah, that’ll work.

    Now, on the homophobic/misogynistic/racist front. Here I go again.

    Like it or not, the language of homosexual/racial bigotry is part of the contemporary vernacular. “Fag” “ Nigger” “Fairy” (“Honkey” “Cracker” and, in rare cases “Breeder” on the opposite side... “Nazi” and “Bigot” gets a little recursive in this context, since you are, based on some other factor, like skin color, accusing someone…of assuming something about you…based on your skin color…but you get the idea. There’s also nationalities for the advanced class….”Frog” “Limey” “Kraut”…uh…”American” appears to be a good enough slur recently…) We all know these words, and what they mean. There’s no disguising the disgust or hostility behind them. Yet, they are part of our language, and they stay in our minds. For the vast majority of people, they stay locked away under the category of “absolutely worst profanity” never intending to be used. Yet, in the context of what Slim Shady does, opening up those locked doors in order to properly portray the “torn open rage”…it’s only natural that these terms, and everything that they imply, would come spilling out in the vitriolic, hate-filled rant INTENDED to show the very worst of our impotent, directionless rage. So, in effect, when homophobia or racist or misogynistic comments come out in Mather’s songs, all he’s doing is being brutally honest.

    I actually think this is a good thing, (Wait….keep reading at least a little more.) for two reasons. A) Catharsis. Burning all this pent-up crap outta your system. No, you never intend to act on this horrible sexist comment/opinion/feeling you’ve got stuck in the back of your head. That doesn’t change the fact that it’s there. Hearing someone else scream it out loud will get it outta your head safely, without getting you in trouble and without just letting it ferment there for years. Much like a violent action film will vent the pent-up frustrations from work. B) Setting it out in the public eye. When something like this shows up in the public eye, it forces the public in general to take account of it. Everyone has gotten so hypersensitive to the feelings of others in recent years that honest, frank discussion about bias, predilections, concerns, preconceived notions, public portrayal, taught bigotry, religious teachings and the like hasn’t occurred in years, for fear that it might upset someone. Even attempting to start a discussion as to whether homosexuality is a learned or inherent trait is likely to degenerate into sidelong accusations of homophobia (the misnomer itself has, IMHO, led to YEARS of unproductive meandering in social texts). For example, in this context, someone really has to point out that there is a major difference between someone calling his best friend a “fag” after being beaten thirty times in a row at Street Fighter II, and someone who, during a late night drunk, will admit to his friends that “you know, I really hate gays.” Yet, I’ve heard the two equated frequently in modern opinions. Whoop. Getting off track here.

    At any rate, when the “concerned public” looks at Eminem’s work, and sees all these naughty words circulating around, they come to the conclusion that he is encouraging these ideas instead of letting them vent. There seems to be a peculiar guiding principle in most of PC verbiage that believes hatred is caused by the use of these words. If we strike all the words from modern acceptable language, then all of the hatred and nasty ideas will go away as well. From what you’ve seen above, I think you can assume that I think differently. Creation of vicious terms like these was a result of worries, fears, and hatred. Getting rid of the terms without actually, frankly addressing the cause for their use does not make the problem “go away.” Instead, it either does nothing or gets shoved down deeper to ferment into something worse. [Parenthetical rant using a direct example: http://news.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2002/11/20/npage20.xml HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING? This is seriously the most shocking breach of free speech I’ve seen in Europe since I’ve started watching. The concept of “hate speech” laws being used to such an end is so thoroughly repugnant to me, I’ve barely the words for them. Someone please tell me that this isn’t as bad as it looks.] The “take away the words to take away the problem” attitude has reached such ludicrous levels that not even Bugs Bunny is safe. Admittedly, this is a truly hyperactive offense gene at work, but it is indicative of the sort of “remove it if it offends” attitude of the day.

    Back to Mather. So he says all this stuff in his “Slim Shady” persona. Then a bunch of activists get after him for promoting racial/homosexual/misogynistic hatred. In my opinion, they profoundly missed the point (the whole “venting” thing), and he has to answer them. So he says “I’m not homophobic, I don’t hate gays.” “So why did you say that stuff?” “Well, because everyone has this bit of hatred that we need to vent/address. I vent it as part of my act. It’s really better that way.” “So you ARE homophobic? Do you think that it’s right you say these things to kids?” “Well, I think it’s a good thing to get it out in the open. Everyone’s like this a little, we should admit it. It’s better and more honest that way.” “You think it’s good that you’re ‘getting it out in the open’ by telling kids to kill their girlfriends? What kind of a monster are you?” “Wait, I didn’t tell them to do that! That was just me venting! That doesn’t mean I want people to actually kill anyone!” (Then he does the video with Dido as a direct address to this problem. It’s about an obsessed fan who kills his girlfriend in a fit of rage over Eminem’s not responding to his fanmail.) “But you’re exposing people to all of this bigoted rhetoric! Don’t you realize that it’s making them bigots?” (Insert the problem with the “magical” nature of racist words here.) “Wait. No. See, Slim is a bad guy, really the worst guy, and he’s saying bad-guy things…so actually it’s positive. Kids don’t really want to be Slim Shady, they just need to vent it, and they’ll see the bigoted stuff as connected to Slim…who’s a bad guy.”

    See? He’s screwed. If he avoids the topic, it looks like it confirms that he’s a terrible bigot. If he tries to address the topic, as he’s done multiple times, he gets torn to pieces by people already convinced that he’s the bad guy. Pretty much anything he says now in the Slim Shady persona (or even out of it) needs to come with a passel of footnotes and parentheticals saying “I really don’t mean this…it’s just an expression.” (Go ANYWHERE online where he is discussed and you’ll find people who refuse even to consider this. I ran into eight online just in hunting down the info about this flick.) It’s really remarkable. Feminism, Race relations, motherhood, sexual preference. He’s managed to pick every subject that’ll get a person flayed alive if they’re brought up in public in anything but a positive light. So the only way he can address the issues is with these kind of sidelong gestures. He defends a gay guy in his film. (He talks with the guy later where it’s perfectly plain that he is gay and it wasn’t just a throwaway insult.) He hugs Elton John. What can he do? Hell, at this point he couldn’t even pull a “Hammer,” find Jesus and repent everything he’s ever said, ‘cause that would undermine everything he said before now, and make it look like he was a bigot in denial.

    In the end, I think the whole “venting” aspect is supported by a quick hunt through any online message board for a troll. With the anonymity granted by the internet, you’ll find a large number of crude little bastards venting their spleen in chatrooms. Better there than for them to actually act on it.


    Well, I think I’ve dug myself deep enough for one night…
     
  • Me? A mistake? 2002-11-13 10:54:10 Lord Rae: D'oh! Yeah, I'd completely forgotten that D: Bloodlust was originally in English. Ah well, can't remember everything... 
  • Welcome to Groovenia! 2002-11-12 21:25:42 WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

    Hokay...adult swim is really a mixed bag lately. Premiering this week...Groovenia (or something like that). Really crappy CG animation about a couple of hippy-love alien kids who get away from their oppressive, badly concieved parents to go room with weird one-eyed french sterotypes on a planet where your taxes are paid to the king of the normals. And for some reason they feel they have to sing. VERY VERY BADLY. This is officially the low point of Adult Swim. Badly animated, badly concieved, badly written, and voiced by Ru Paul. (I think I caught the VA for the king of the normals in the intro credits....but I can't believe he would have sunk this low, so I'm not gonna say unless I find some confirmation.) If it ever gets worse than this, I'll quit watching. And if you look closely...you'll noticed CN actually made this crap itself. Really, really crap. On the other hand, one of the better new Home Movies (though I still miss "squigglevision"...just seemed to work for this show) hilarious episode of ATHF, good Sealab. Then there was Brak. Guest starring Weird Al in his usual desperate bid to find some venue where his annoying personality doesn't come off as a frantic bid for attention. It didn't work. (Yeah, his songs are pretty funny, but the guy himself is just annoying.) Oh, and since when has Judy Dench been voicing Brak's mom? (Oh yeah, and Spumco continues in it's never ending quest to disgust audiences everywhere.)

    Lord Rae: Yeah, I gotta agree. Livejournal is just ugly. The format's cluttered and ugly. It must have a lot of helpful little utilities for everyone to still use it.

    So, been quite a while since my last full-length entry. Plenty of stuff has happened, most of it not at all interesting. Finally got around to seeing the US version of "The Ring"...but I ain't gonna review it. Why? Because I would have enjoyed the movie a lot more if it wasn't for the fact that one of the students in our lab told me the WHOLE FRICKIN' PLOT. Being a charitable sort, I refuse to condemnn you all similarly, so I'll just make a few smartass comments and review the audience instead.

    Smartass Comment: Seeing the tape in the film made me wonder "what if Salvadore Dali had made a horror film?" (If you haven't seen it, "An Andalusian Dog" has pretty much defined "weird-ass student art flick" for the past thirty years.) The audience was one of the worst I've ever encountered. I missed the 7:20 showing on the first try and had to hang around in the mall until 10:00 for the last show, so I was already in a bad mood. When I went in, there were only six people there. So I pick a seat in the "sweet spot" (2/3 of the way back, center seat.) Two minutes before it starts, two guys come in and sit right in front of me. So I move. Five minutes in, a couple comes in, and the guy loudly fills his date in on what they've missed. Fifteen minutes in, three teens (two guys and a girl) come in and do the same. This I don't mind. I can understand it. But the girl won't SHUT UP. She spent the next twenty minutes GIGGLING (If you've seen the film, this should puzzle you as much as me.) Until I finally go tell them to shut the hell up. (Well...not in so many words...) Thirty minutes in, ANOTHER group of four or so come in. They are no problem....until at fifteen and six minutes from the end....when their cell phones go off.

    All joking aside, this is probably the scariest movie to gain a popular audience since the first Blair Witch Project (yes I like it, no I don't want to hear your reasons for hating it, yes you are a looser for not liking it...so nyahhhh.) so go out and see it. Even the craptastic crowd that I saw it with came out all quiet-like and commenting on how scary it had been. Friends of mine described having an actual cold sweat or shaking when they came out of the theater. Hell, PENNY ARCADE did a strip on the film, (http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2002-10-21&res=l) and devoted about two columns to the reprecussions on their sleep schedule that resulted from it. (Despite the fact that I live in a 10-foot cube with two monitors, I didn't have this problem...but then I'm something of an old hand at this....and my labmate ruined it all for me anyway.) Not often you'll have an opportunity like this, so take advantage of it.

    I do need to see the Japanese version, though, as I wonder at the differences when percolated through the cultural filter. There is a distinct seam running through the US version. On one side is a very distinctly Japanese horror film (can't go into detail without ruining the film) and on the other are the various trappings added to place it distinctly in America. The remarkable thing is that both sides are done quite well. The horse-farm was a beautifully crafted touch of ancestral New England that was a horror in its own right, but, if you've got a feel for it, the "monster" feels...transplanted from another culture. Sort of adds to the alien-ness of the situation, so it helps, but there still seems to be something of a schism down the middle of the film.

    So, I suppose you all want to know what the big horror-movie fan did for Halloween? Surprise, surprise, it didn't suck. Normally my Halloweens really suck because I'm not really outgoing enough to go out in costume, and few of my friends are the type to throw really good Halloween parties. (And I haven't the space to throw my own.) Pretty much anything I do outside of that I would be doing anyway, so it all ends up kinda pathetic and I end up drinking myself into a self-pitying stupor.

    This year, though, I have a friend to thank for my Halloween not sucking. The night before, I was up to my elbows in human blood...again...at one in the morning. (No, really, this happens every week. Stupid job.) I was well into the advance-wallow of self pity and set for the long haul until 7:00 AM, when Tim Tolentino from the other end of the lab shows up. See, there's going to be a "door decoration" contest for all the labs in the building on Halloween day, and he's decided, at one in the morning, that we're going to win it. He has a bag of cheap Halloween decorations, a couple of stuffed animals on loan from his daughter, and a lab full of medical supplies. I took a couple of hour-long breaks in the middle of messing around with the blood and helped him assemble and hang the stuff, as well as a lot of creative improvisation. We actually got the place looking passable before I left, with a couple of floating ghouls down our hallway and the door decorated like an operating table. I went home to crash at 7:00 AM and came back around 3:00 to find everyone else's contributions, including the clever addition of taping biohazard bags over all the windows and lights to give the place an eerie red glow.

    AND......we lost. Awwww. Truth be told, Tim won the award for best pumpkin carving (had done an illuminated DNA molecule on his pumpkin...aren't we just the nerds) and I think we didn't win 'cause they didn't want to give both awards to one wing. Fair enough.

    After that, I actually went to the showing of "Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust" at the student center. The place was PACKED. 'Course, I think there was one female individual in the whole mass of 60 or so students...so I think you can guess which demographic had chosen to spend Halloween night watching anime. Ah well. As a member, I'm hardly one to cast stones. (Yes, she was with someone.)

    So that's what I'm going to review...Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust. I'd intended to do an impromptu review of FLCL....but I'd need a couple of drinks first to do it properly, as that one's going to be rather personal and I have to be oblivious to reprecussions before I actually commit it to paper (or electrons..whatever.) (Oh, the FLCL review is positive, just personal.) This's gonna be a short review, 'cause I didn't take any notes, and I'm certian that I've forgotten some of the smartass remarks I'd thought up.

    First off....Damn this movie's pretty. Pretty, pretty, pretty. Remember how you'd haul out Akira to watch that beautiful opening biker fight seqence anytime someone complained about low frame-rate in one of your fav TV anime series? Yeah, it's that level of pretty, only turned up another notch to eleven. (Now I'm HARDCORE!) Dark and gothic (somehow managing both the original and modern meanings of the word.) with excessively high detail on all aspects. We're treated first to a sequence that you've already seen SIX DOZEN TIMES as it's a particular favorite of AMVers wherein the approach of some great evil bends and distorts the heavily-crucifixed town and abducts a "young" girl from her bed, obviously chosen for the fact that she has the most detailed hair of anyone in the film.

    The next day, our old friend, the VAMPIRE WITH NO NAME shows up to get info on a bounty.

    This was a minor quibble on my part. D actually haggles with the Mayor (of course, it was his daughter) on the price. I had no idea D was ever concerned about the money. He certianly didn't go through the first film in search of gold. What exactly does a Dampiel need money for? A new wide-brimmed hat? (I've always wondered if "Dampiel" was supposed to have been "Vampiel" from the very start, but the faked Romanian accent so thoroughly warped it that it became "Dampiel" forever more. Eh.) I always thought it was a matter of "the enemy of my enemy" for D. He is on a mission to exterminate all Vampires...right?

    Anyway, the Vampire abductor is named "Meier Link" who rides across the country (whatever country it is...more on that later) in a great black carriage-hearse. There's a catch, though. D has competition in the form of a group of bounty hunters named "The Markus brothers", fearless Vampire hunters in their own right. The name, of course, is a misnomer, since they are the source of the requesite "disillusioned tough-as-nails but needs to be rescued at least once" girl in the film. The group is predictably divided up into specializations for killing Vampires. (Really, I can't think of any anime other than GITS TV where everyone was well balanced in multiple weapons...specialization without options is a negative evolutionary choice, no matter how good you are at your specialty.) There's the sprightly little silver-knife weilder Kyle (yes, those can kill Vampires too) who throws them like 4-prong boomerangs, there's Nolt, whose method of "killing by stake" looks a whole lot like "killing by smashing with the blunt end of a tree" (someone tell the Japanese that death by stake is not supposed to be a weightlifting contest), our girl Lyla who kills them with the most LUDICROUSLY overbuilt six-shooter ever (the thing must be a two-gauge and weigh twenty pounds), and their boss Borgoff, master of the Giant Robo school of bowmanship and member of the Ripping Friends. (No, really, listen to his voice in the english version.) Then there's Grove. The heroine junkie. This one is really cool. See, he seems to be an invalid, staying in bed in their mobile battle-tank the entire time. When the need is great enough, he shoots himself up (I'm sorry, I don't care what you say the drug is, it's obviously an opiate) and his SPIRIT, as a being of PURE LIGHT dressed as the fourth doctor, tears off through the field in a blissed-out state, frying and singeing Vampires left and right. Problem is, he's starting to look a little too strung-out for his own good.

    In appropriate video-game response, Link picks up a handful of followers himself. Here's my other quibble. To pick them up, he essentially hires them mercenary-style from a city/group called "The Barbarois." Now, this is shooting in the dark somewhat, but my ears pricked up at this mention. The only thing that really matches up with this would be Barbary or the Barbary coast. The problem is, that this lies in the general area of the rock of Gibralter ("Barbary Apes" live on the rock...I believe the only non-human primates still native to Europe, and the "Barbary Coast" was infamous for the pirates which ambushed merchant vessles in the area.) Which is the jut off the bottom of Spain that guards the entrance to the Mediterranean. Now, Link was pretty obviously making a beeline for Carmilla's castle. So how could he have passed through Barbary without A) hitting water somewhere around there or B) making a sharp left turn either into Portugaul or along the southern coast of Spain? Especially when we're obviously supposed to think of this place as far eastern Europe?

    Ah well, admittedly, a bit of a quibble. A bit more mundane of an explanation is that it's just a derivation of "Barbarian" from the greek term for uncivilized people. Or that it's entirely made up and I'm reading too much into it.

    Anyway, the three he picks up are a shadow-magician who manages to kill one of the Markus brothers fairly easily, and, even more heniously, he kills D's HORSE! Damn it, I liked that horse! Annoying little creepy fellow who reminds me of the twit in arcades who kills everyone with the same cheap-ass combo. Second in line is a woman wearing entirely too much green who appears to be some kind of evil dryad. Standard evil, sorta-shapeshifting temptress with plant phase and plantform abilities. Wooden spears, superfast fighting, kick-ass fight scenes, the usual. Beheading isn't quite enough to put this little wooden dolly down, but she eventually goes down nonetheless. The last one is my favorite. A fairly imposing and impressive take on lycanthropy, including an enormous set of jaws in the werewolf's midrift. We see very little of the battle, though, which is a bit of a disappointment.

    So there's a steady flight-and-fight across country as the villains and the Markus brothers pick one another off. Riding shotgun, parallel to the chase, but always working independently, is D, and his own companion...his "right hand man." I don't know how it was in the Japanese dub, but the hand was the hit of the English translation, the sole repository of humor in the series.

    Along the way, the female Markus "brother" Lyla splits off from the main force, intrigued by the silent stranger in the really big hat, and drifts more and more towards D and away from her own team. There are a number of beautifully animated encounters along the way as the teams get whittled down, but, in a quiet moment, we also learn that the gorgeously animated young countess was not taken by Links against her will. Despite his undead nature, it becomes apparent that the two are in love, and are fleeing the bounty hunters together. But where to?

    The castle is that of the vampiress Carmilla. Through an aside commentary by "the hand", we find that Carmilla was originally embraced by D's father (we all know who that is, right?) but that her insanity and vainness eventually bored him, and he finished her off, though her all too real spirit still accepts the vistitors. Links brings his betrothed here for sanctuary, but, far from scaring everyone off by entering a castle straight out of a more colorful Gieger's mind, it just gives everyone a big ol' target to aim for. All the remaining parties manage to sneak in and continue their search for Links and his underage (compared to HIM) bride. The violition of the sanctuary means little to Links, as he and his betrothed intend to leave...get this...on a ROCKET designed as one of the towers in the castle...in a fairly melodramatic "get away from all the people who want to keep us apart" move that will supposedly take them to a place where they can be together. (This isn't elaborated upon very much.) Unfortunately, Carmilla's protection cuts both ways, as phantom shapes move through the castle, tempting the remaining hunters to their death, and luring the expectant bride to a midnight meeting with a ghostly Links. The blood from these encounters flows throughout the castle, until it finds its way to Carmilla's tomb, where she is rejuvenated into something like a blood-golem. The transformation is barely complete before D's hand devours her spirit, bringing the phantoms and Carmilla's rule to an end. A short battle with an enraged and mourning Links follows, but both call it off in the end, with Magus carrying the body of his love to the Rocket and taking off. Throughout all of this, the only other survivor is Lyla, whose disillusionment and disgust at the continuous loss of life eventually convinces D to let Magus go to his final repose in his own way. The very ending of the film is an especial treat, and a nice look at the scope and range within which D lives.

    Yeah, I told the whole story. So what? I'm running low on creativity right now, so this is what you get. The story stands up well next to the original film, IMHO. Excelling above its predecessor greatly in artwork, although the plot is a bit more simplistic and straightforward this time around. I don't really hold that against it, though. The focus this time was on a much simpler concept, and the mood of hopelessly star-crossed lovers comes through nicely, with a meloncholy ending dramatically superior to the fairly "deus ex" of the first one. Elaboration and development of some of the characters was a little lacking in cases, and a few you could predict the manner of their death within their first few scenes. Thus, an excellently crafted anime that I wouldn't hesitate to set alongside the original. (I like the original more, but for purely personal reasons...always respect the original.) 
  • I am a sad cheese. 2002-11-08 19:30:27 I have no beer.

    I have no idea how long this one is going to run. I'm bored out of my head and unable to come up with anything better to do. (Oh yes, I value my audience...can't you tell?) Besides, my ranking in Warcraft has sunk to an abysmal 4 in ffa out of something like 150 battles. Jeez. No way to ever drag that back up.

    Haven't really been keeping up with journals as of late. It's too damn depressing with everyone jumping ship for livejournal and the lot. I might have to wander over there myself just to avoid all the echoing in here. Out of the 25-30 people on my friends list, only about three or four ever write anymore.

    Ya know what? This is too depressing. I'm out of beer and all I've got in the house is some leftover halloween candy. Screw this, I'll write when I'm in a better mood. 
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