JOURNAL:
ithaqua
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Lovertits
2004-03-08 00:06:47
You know who's fun to go drinking with?
Lesbians.
They're as fun as fags, but you're less likely to get your ass kicked around them. And the one was carrying. Shibby.
Bad hangover.
So bad I couldn't go to work, so I called in sick. But hey, I'm quitting soon anyways, I have to be irresponsible while I can.
And the vodka was so worth it. Mmm, double paralyzers. Then some rye. And a shooter that was blue. And some beer. Then to single paralyzers.
I like to keep my drinks varied, which is why it usually hurts afterward.
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So Pure
2004-02-22 03:00:34
Well, fuck you too, buddy!
Today was kinda odd, in the shitty way. Work was, well, work. Tough. It pays, so I go.
When I got home, I got a call from a friend to go out and catch dinner with him and his fiance. So sure, seems like fun. And it was, I had a couple drinks with them, all good.
But then it all went to shit.
After the restaurant, we went to his friends house. To drop him off so he could hang out then go to the bar. Usually, this is where we would go to the bar together. But not anymore.
See, he's been hanging out with one of his childhood friends again recently. This friend hangs out with a guy, Paul, who is apparently homophobic.
So the person I thought was my friend decided to dump me.
Fuck him.
His fiance was more fun to hang out with anyways.
But hey, things like this help me remember who I am - the person who gets used and abandoned. And on the plus side it's not like I had any faith left in humanity anyways.
The guy I thought I was my friend, the guy I knew for almost a decade, the guy who was the first person I ever came out to. Left me. So he wouldn't make a friend of a friend uncomfortable.
2 more months before I leave town. Only 2 months 'til I'm in the city.
My nailpolish is torn to shit. Figures.
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Take Control
2004-01-16 17:29:38
I'm single again.
Hoo-ray. or meh, I'm feeling ambivalent about how I feel.
Of course, he had to go. Let's go through the laundry list:
obsessive-compulsive neat freak
annoying cologne (I fucking hated how he always smelled)
insiped conversationalist
bad taste (music, clothes, etc.)
my friends didn't like him <- big warning right there
I need someone who I actually enjoy spending time with. Someone who I can watch movies with and have fun and talk and just be around. Instead I'm looking forward to another period of celibacy. Which I'm oddly looking forward to.
On the plus side, I'm finally getting more involved with school.
I have the feeling I'll be getting very drunk sometime this weekend.
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Drifting Sideways/Brighter Side
2004-01-01 22:22:35
Everyone always talks about making New Year's resolutions. I didn't. I actually made changes.
It started on New Year's Eve. I finally went through with my plan to dye my hair. Pink. Right now it can look everywhere from orange to light red to pink depending on what light I'm under.
I took my nice new hair colour to the GALA dance (gay and lesbian gathering). After downing a few $3 vodka paralyzers (cheap hooch=yay), a very cute boy asked me to dance. After hanging out for a bit and talking, we ended up french kissing on the dance floor at midnight. Not too long after that we went back to his place.
Why his place and not mine? He had a hot tub.
(hot tub=yay)
Between talking, watching a movie together, we made our way to bed where....you can figure out on your own what happened.
(yay!)
Long story short, this was the best start to a year I've ever had. I didn't even leave his house until 5 in the afternoon the next day.
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Teardrop
2003-12-14 17:56:28
Well, another semester is over. I think I did well, I always do.
One more and I've got my degree.
In less than 24 hours I go in to get my wisdom teeth removed. It will require me to be totally sedated.
I've never been in for surgery before, and it's scaring me. I just don't know what to expect, or how much it will hurt, or how long it will hurt after.
Needless to say, I was not much fun to work with today. Hope my co-workers understand. My family isn't helping much either, they keep making little jokes, like how I'm gonna want more than just 20 T-3's, or that I'll be needing them even before "breakthrough" pain. (We have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humour.)
I've noticed something though. Whenever I'm truly scared or depressed, I don't listen to the music one would assume I'd turn to. I have a lot of scary and depressing music, but when I'm actually feeling down, Skinny Puppy is the last thing I want to listen to. I've been listening to a lot of Delerium recently, and I'm listening to Massive Attack right now.
Could be I'm just mellowing out with age, but my growing collection of soft and ambient music is far outstripping anyone else I know. Maybe I'm just mellowing, period. I seem to have lost my taste for Slipknot, and most other metal.
Maybe it's time to explore buddhism. Being atheist however, that will probably not work. I guess my growing calmness is just a manifestation of maturity. I hope it is. I can't actually remember the last time I lost my temper.
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