JOURNAL: iserlohn

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  • winter sucks 2003-01-05 21:11:28 I'm exhausted. and depressed. and confused. All of the things I'm supposed to be over by this point in time. Maybe in the next life...

    It snowed today. Heavily. I was supposed to be having anime day at my place, but because of the weather, only one person showed for it who was planning to - 3 others confirmed that they were noshowing, and chris and andrew stopped by at around 7:30, after I'd already moved the computer back. While it was fun watching Soul Hunter, the event flopped. It's kinda sad, people here should be used to the idea of snow and driving in snow, so why do they all immediately panic the instant something white starts coming out of the sky? Bakabaka.

    I haven't had an opinion left on any of my videos in over two months now. I made the mistake of getting my hopes up, too, when I saw something blue on my member page - it was a broken download link for an indirect to the distro center. Are people really so fucking stupid to think that I don't know there's no downloads there? Are they so lazy that they don't want to read the directions which even a four year old should be able to follow?

    I'm becoming increasingly cynical past where I should be at my age. It hurts. There's another storm coming through, my head's writhing. It hurts. I'm probably going to have to get up for work in the morning, even though all the major school districts are closed. It doesn't hurt yet, but it will.

    I still don't have my GRE scores in. I'm just using them as an excuse to procrastinate graduate applications, partly because I'm scared. I don't like the idea of getting rejected, especially if I'm forking over $60 for the privilege. Damn I'm fucked up. Why can't I bring myself to work on something so important to my future and one of my life goals? What the fuck is wrong with me?

    What have I seen, where have I been? 
  • Tradeoffs 2003-01-02 20:27:49 I got work today. Dragged my ass out of 7:30AM after a horrid night's sleep (if you can call it that, weird dreams and all), got dressed, waited around until 8:30, got no call, went back to bed, and at 10:30AM got a call. $10.50/hr, 2 days guaranteed if I could get to the client's by noon.

    I was there at 11:30 despite getting lost thank ye very much. I have some semblance now of how to get there for tomorrow too. Anyhow, today was work 11:30-5, which suited me fine enough, all I did was data entry to make mailing labels, and then tomorrow I get to re-enter all of it into the database, which will take another 4-5 hours due to needing to cross-check all 220 entries against what already exists. I'll probably do other small tasks around the already small office as well. I swear, though, there's more conference room space than office space in that place. Then again, there's only 7 full timers, one of which being the administrative person and the signer of my timecards. She's nice, too. Let me leave at 4:20 and signed me through to 5.

    Oh, there's another perk of this place: free soda. They've got one of those mini dispenser machines, which means enough sprite to keep me happily sugar buzzed and take care of any hypo headaches and caloric complaints due to my poor planning and lack of lunch-suitable foods. Today was some Ritz crackers and a couple small pieces of chocolate...and a bagel for breakfast. Dinner was sizable, though, thanks to my abundance of pasta which is also starting to run out. Even if I *AM* getting paid Thursday (and it *should* be direct deposit), it does me no good if Anne's car is as dead as she fears it is - means I'm stuck living on whatever I can buy at CVS and WaWa and the cheapest that College Park has to offer until Eric gets back and regular Shuttle-UM starts up again. Or I could drop $8 and get Peapod to deliver it, but that means planning in way more detail than I want...and paying an extra $8 to get my groceries delivered, which is a service I really don't need. It may be cheaper for me to live on bagels for lunch and oatmeal for breakfast and China Cafe <$5 dinners or Chipotle for dinner. Just have to do the math...which in my head is coming up worse. Well, shit. Something will come out of this, hopefully something good.

    And I lied, there *is* one more good thing about work right now: I am free to keep the mp3 player going all day. This meant that while typing up address labels for 3 hours (and the following 30-40 min. to proofread, etc.) I was able to keep a BGM disc going and not repeat any song which only had one instance on my player. Then it was happy Anime Themes on the way home - and I'd been listening to stuff on the way down too - AND THE BATTERIES DIDN'T DIE! 3 cheers for Rayovac NiMH 1 hr rechargeables! Now if only I could find my earbuds. I'm serioulsy thinking that they're either hidden in some drawer in the dresser under the stuff that's not seasonal right now or lost somewhere to the closet of doom (which I really need to clean one of these days). Nobody complained about my mega-koss pair, though, and since I was responsive to people walking by, my guess is that they knew that I could hear through them, which is true - I had them down about 6-7 levels (of 40) from where I do when I'm walking or especially when I'm on metro.

    The tradeoff of all this, though, is that my Berserk DVD came in and I can't pick it up until Saturday. Oh well, it's a whole 2 days. I've waited this long, waiting a little longer's not going to kill me. Work is more important.

    Now where the fuck are my GRE scores? It looks like tomorrow night is going to be "rush and finish all the online stuff" night and then Saturday I'll go to the PO and express mail out all the hard documents (writing sample, personal statement, etc.) I should NOT have procrastinated this much, ugh. Bad self. Bad, bad self. Bad self who's wondering what he's going to eat for breakfast tomorrow. Damn my priorities. I should have done these instead of watching anime tonight...then again anime time is sanity time, and sanity time is a good thing....then again I didn't read any of Sherlock tonight either. Maybe I'll take it with me tomorrow and read that during lunch. Sounds like a good idea to me, especially since the weather's supposed to be misting again. At least I've got a good coat now.

    There's one more tradeoff for this current job (job, ha, it's only 2 more days): I have to leave the house by 7:30 to get to the metro station on time to get to work by 8:30 (Metro's website ONLY recommends going down to L'Enfant and back up, which makes some sense, as transferring at Metro Center, while saving me 3 or 4 stops, can be a gamble depending on how long I have to wait for the hop). This means 12 stops each way, though. I think I'll follow this path down in the morning and then take the Red Line back at night via Fort Totten. The disadvantage to this is that the trains are packed, but the advantage is that it saves me a few stops and is a more scenic ride (between Union Station and Ft. Totten is above ground, green line is underground until ft. totten from l'enfant).

    Editing...meant to do some of that tonight, ah well, will do it Saturday. Sunday morning is possible but doubtful - I'm hosting anime showings on sundays for the rest of break, just to break up some of the monotony of the week and have some people over. Should prove to be fun.

    Anyhow, time to shower so that I can try to sleep tonight. Then again if I'm half-asleep I'll work slower, punch more time on the clock, and make more money. Hmmm....

    Oyeah, I have to drop off my timecard tomorrow. Must remember that.... 
  • I should put something here... 2003-01-01 19:04:23 and talk about hopes for the new year, reflect on last year, and all that good stuff. Truth is, I really don't feel like it. Things are too uncertain to plan, and this hasn't been the best year to reflect upon. Yes I did well in some of my classes, yes I got to go on an asskicking and unforgettable trip, and yes, I won an AMV award. However, I still don't have great grades, I still have no standing anywhere, and I still wait for emails that I should know will never come. I wonder sometimes why it's worth trying to deal with the past, which is ironic because my current livelihood depends on it. Then again, it would be better if it wasn't my past. Damn I'm fucked up.

    Still watching about 2.5-3 hrs of anime every day, and started cycling in AMVs so that I can burn some of them off. I rarely watch the AMVs on my HD anymore, but they're nice to stick in the playlist between episodes. Just something to break everything up...

    Haven't done any editing for a few days. Been waiting for a DVD to get in to do segment 5, and after that, well who knows after that. I still need some tapes, but the second supplier hasn't been able to get them in to me. I'm starting to think I'm cursed with these, or something. It's frustrating as hell, and I really don't have the $80 to drop on import DVDs right now. Still only ¥118 to the dollar, which is pretty bad in terms of exchange rates - last time I was buying imports it was around 125-130. I really want to finish this video, but if I can't get the footage I don't know if it's worth it to substitue. I've got an alternative project in the wings, but this one's been sitting here unfinished for 2 months now. Then again, this has been deemed this year's Otakon project, so perhaps it's better that I wait.

    *sigh* even hobbies are getting to be a lot of work to deal with. I did do some work today, though, in the form of cleaning and organizing the apartment. I scrubbed the stove top, organized the books that were cluttering up the common room, and threw out a lot of the trash taht's been on my bedroom floor. There's still a lot of crap there, but it's useful or relatively new crap (like the last round of amazon invoices). It's nice to be able to see more of my floor. The downisde to cleaning, though, is that I managed to lose a chapstick and a sharpie marker in the process. Well, damn. At least it's only a chapstick and a sharpie, both items are easily replaceable.

    Still sorting MP3s, too. Why is it that I'm willing to do this work, but not fill out my grad school applications, the earliest of which are now due in 5 days? *sigh* back to catching up on today's forum posts, etc. 
  • Fuck you, Livejournal 2002-12-30 22:04:47 StudioKZ had an interesting post on his LJ today, one that I deemed worthy of a proper reply. I spent upwards of 20 min. writing it, only to have LJ barf when I tried to preview, and not retaining the text when I tried to backtrack.

    I was supposed to get a call to work today, but it didn't come. I even called to check in and they said they'd get back to me. I'm not bothering to get ready tomorrow morning - the business district of DC and especially the government areas are absolutely dead on days before major holidays. I remember having to run to 5 different places trying to find Lunch last New Year's Eve, and even the downtown Barnes and Noble closed at 6, which was right after I was able to eat dinner. Of course, I was seeing Cabaret then...no such activity this year. This year, I will be starting the year alone.

    Still no GRE scores in the mail. I *really* don't want to finish applications before I get my writing score in the mail, because if it sucks I don't want to bother wasting the $300 or so in application checks just to get rejected across the board. At this rate, who knows what's going to happen to anyone. I don't think the government grants student deferments to people in grad school when it comes time for conscription...and yes, there ARE people in congress trying to get it reinstated. These are interesting times.

    Otherwise, I've been shopping a lot lately. Going back to work means having something to wear to work, and I needed a couple other things (like a coat heavier than my windbreaker) anyways. Of course, this is for naught if I don't get placed. Last time I look for a temp agency in the classifieds...

    Disillusionment is one of the hardest things to get used to in life. It's also figuring heavily in my current anime fascination, Boogiepop Phantom. Boogiepop is great artsy, mind-bending stuff. Now that I'm on the last arc it's coming together nicely, too. I'm sure there'll still be unanswered questions, but it's a fun ride. Speaking of anime, I hope my Berserk 3 DVD gets here soon, too.

    Anyhow, time to finish off the AIM conversations and get to bed. 
  • argh 2002-12-29 22:38:29 funky stuff's been happening since i deleted my cookies....like having trouble logging in and seeing member page properly. hopefully this will fix itself in a couple days as web patterns are relgained, etc. at least i haven't lost the LJ history...

    anyways, to bed now. hopefully there will be work for me in the morning. 
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