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ayumi hamasaki~forgiveness
2003-09-09 18:54:10
I know nothing after all.
The dream is fading
each hand that held me high is tiring
everyone is falling
everyone is pummeling into a dark abyss
am I locked inside?
maybe
is there a bridge to get to me?
yes but its closed
empy
full
happy
sad
cold
but warm
everything.. I feel
it makes no sense
what am I?
who am I?
no wishes no ambitions
someone live for me. -
^-^
2003-09-07 21:54:27
behold my story how it currently is before final edit!
The emergency light had finally turned off and Dr. Choi came out to approach Mrs. Chan to tell her the bad news:
Her husband was dead.
Wei and his brother Kei stood there, both silently coming into terms with their father's death. Mrs. Chan immediately burst into tears when the doctor told them Mr. Chan had passed away.
The both of them stood, having different perceptions of why their mother was crying. Kei, being the dense 24 year old he is, thought that his stepmother was crying simply because of her sorrow.
Wei, being the biological son of Mrs. Chan and also the one in on all her secrets, knows that his mother is crying in joy that now she'll get the money that she married Mr. Chan for.
Wei pounds the wall with his bare fist as he tries to hold back his tears. Not only was his father dead, he also missed his girlfriend Liu's first concert that would begin her tour across Asia. He thought to himself, “How could this get worse?” Soon, the doors opened and the body was carted off right in front of him. Wei let out his tears and his mother grabbed him by the hand and buried her face onto his shoulder. Kei tried his best to console Mrs. Chan and Wei began to think that maybe, just maybe, his mother was capable of emotion after all.
They left the hospital with heavy hearts in their Mercedes-Benz. It felt like a long drive for everyone.
When they left the car to the care of the chauffeur, Rin, Mrs. Chan's cellphone rang. It was the lawyer, who called Mrs. Chan to inform her about the changes in the will her husband left. He had left nothing for her. The first son to have children would receive EVERYTHING!
As Mrs. Chan hung up she felt tears coming to her eyes. Suddenly a second call came. Meanwhile, Wei walked away thinking that maybe his dad didn't leave enough for his mother and that was why she was changing into such a pale white. So he left to order the maids to get his mother’s bath and clothes ready. Since it would probably make her feel better.
The second call was from Wei's girlfriend Liu's mother. Liu's mother called to yell at Mrs. Chan for being an irresponsible parent leaving Wei and Liu alone in the mansion while Mrs. Chan went to a charity ball. Liu discovered she was pregnant when she went to see the doctor after her concert. Her tour across Asia was cancelled. Mrs. Chan hung up on Liu's mother after she heard the word pregnant. Mrs. Chan realized she still had face! ("Face" is used like the Chinese term meaning honor pride and popularity.) For if her biological son were to inherit all that her husband left she would be still be able to brag to her rich friends at how great she is!
Mrs. Chan didn't realize she was laughing maniacally while she was thinking such things and her son Kei began to think that his stepmother was in so much sorrow she didn't know what she was doing. So he decided to ask the butler to hire a psychologist for his dear mother. He also ordered a maid to get his mother a glass of water and secretly whispered to dissolve a sleeping pill in it. It was so his step mom could get some rest. Mrs. Chan drank the water and fell asleep shortly after.
The next day Wei went to school as Kei goes to check the will since the lawyer phoned saying there was something he should know. The lawyer knew in advance that Mrs. Chan would tell Kei nothing.
Wei sat in his last class a little uncomfortable from having to change into another uniform. The one that he specifically told the maids to throw out since the sleeves didn't look right. For some reason his right eye kept on twitching and usually it only twitches when something is wrong. It's got to be the uniform. I knew I should have gotten the other maid to do it! Aargh! I'm firing her when I get home! But inside he knew it wasn't the uniform. He knew it had to do with Liu. Liu had ignored him the entire day avoiding his eyes and always looking away when they met. She didn't even sit with him during lunch like she normally did.
This would be the last week Liu would be Hong Kong before leaving for Beijing. Wei still didn't know what was wrong with Liu and so he simply avoided everyone that tried to talk to him during the day. He even ate his lunch alone. He grew paranoid with every thought of what he might of done wrong in the past to deserve this. He began to check his palm pilot for older entries of his daily logs to see if he did anything wrong in the past couple of weeks when he suddenly receives a message from his mother.
"Hi sweetie! Liu is pregnant! Whatever you do… KEEP THE BABY!!!!!!!
Love mommy!! ^_^ XOXO! ~"
Wei's heart suddenly became ice. He had ruined Liu's life. Her ambitions, dreams, everything… He didn't know what to do, other than try to get Liu to get an abortion. He loved her too much to ask her to keep the baby. He ruined her career he destroyed her dreams and if the media found out what he did to her. She would never have a chance to get back into the circle.
Eventually, the fact that he was rich hit his mind and he began to see that maybe, just maybe he could be with her. But then he began to think how stupid he was for thinking such a thing. Also if his mother is telling him to keep the baby maybe, just maybe he should.
Wei's mind and heart were confusing him at what he should do. Time was going by too quickly he grabbed the handouts that were given to him and stuffed them into his bag. He continued to look at Liu, and how beautiful she was, in his eyes.
The bell rang everyone got up from his or her seats and Wei was about to go up to Liu, his cellphone rang. It was his brother
"Wei! Liu's pregnant and if she has the baby all of what dad left goes to you" before Wei could respond Kei continued,
"You love her right?"
Without having to think about the answer, Wei screamed out
" I TOLD YOU I WOULD MARRY NO OTHER!"
Kei's reply to it was simply this
" THEN GET HER YOU DOLT AND KEEP HER FROM GETTING AN ABORTION!"
Wei hung up on Kei. He ran outside and got past all the crowds of people to get to Liu. He grabbed her arm and hugged her tightly and started telling her they'd get married. He assured her that everything would be all right as she tried to break free from him.
"I love you Liu, I'm rich! We're rich! You can be a singer or not be a singer or whatever you want to be."
"I know you're rich Wei, but wait what do you mean I don't-"
"Let's get married, I can't believe this is happening but…all of dad's money… EVERYTHING it's been left to me! Liu so will you…" Wei got on his knee.
"Will you marry me?"
She took a minute to try to persuade him to get up but she agreed. It would be a year later when they were the legal age to get married in Hong Kong, which is 16. The baby was born and her grand mother took after her as Wei went on to continue his education and Liu continued her career as a singer. Also sometimes, just sometimes you'd find Mrs. Chan laughing maniacally for having the greatest face out of all her friends.
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BAHHHh
2003-09-07 21:03:33
I need to do all hw!! I need to.. I need to work.. I need to.. do all these things.. I need to stay away.. I need to do chapter summaries.. I need to get high grades.. I need to.. I have to..
but but.. I'm lazing off to write in journal.. someone kill me! I'm unworthy of existence!! I should dissapear!! I don't try in everything.. someone destroy meee!! blarghhh!!
*gets hit by random flying text book...
omg math?! AHHHHHHHH~!!! -
SaVE MEe
2003-09-07 21:01:57
I need support just anything.. keep me awake damn you! I'm so .. screwed! Blargh relatives visited.. and now.. I have to do all hw in most humid room in house.. I'm getting hotter and sweatier and eew smellier..
gawd dammit someone come and keep me awake by screaming at me just anything.. such silence driving me nuts.. and this disco ey music in the background isn't helping.. blargh!!!!!!!!!! -
*hops around*
2003-09-07 13:50:29
Damn u Dr CHoi!! My tests were wrong!! BUAHAHHAHAhhahah~~!!!!! So.. I don't have such high sugar levels as you thought I did... buahahhaha PHOr I was drinking teh sprite right before getting the blood test! so I am technically fine ish~!! But still kinda unhealthy.. *sighs* damnn..
eh well!! me will be fine..
I hope.. Ro isn't worrying about me. He has to be carefree... I can't get in the way of his studies.. and grades and stuff.. me must dissappears ish!!
moo...me got a new keyboard today.. ish very blue.. me likes it alot *glomples.* :3! *wanders off to do english hw and other hw.. so much work... damm.. I'm not.. perfect.. bOoo*
JOURNAL: chutsupsei (ayu mai)
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