JOURNAL: chutsupsei (ayu mai)

previous page next page
  • ^-^ 2003-09-28 12:16:13 what I live for.

    I live to know whats out there I live to find the one I love.. I live to have him find me someday.. (moo gets here soon! or I'll be there somehow...)

    I live to know the truthes within the lies of everyone elses words!
    I live to know myself and to show myself.. that this world is something more than many think of it..

    I live for many things.. the more materialistic things are of course KH2 which will come out around sept 2004 and ffx2 dec 2003 and fvii: advent children... heehee I'll continue to add these things to my list of things I want.. I want them because these games teach something more.. its not that its because they're really fun.. its because they hold morals and things in the story.... besides.. I like whacking away at things dancing away with my keyblade! (teh roxxor!)

    I live to bring a smile to everyones lives.. that is around me.. because even tho I may be down or depressed.. doesn't mean I need them to cheer me up I need to cheer myself up and then use my moronicness or use other things to cheer others up as well.. moo something like that.. does that even make sense? miao..?

    I live to enjoy the little things.. music.. games... sounds of silence.. nature.. bunnies running by... :3 good food.. and scaring ppl with my love of cactuars and slimes.. >=D

    being silly and crazies!

    collecting ayumi cd's

    eating all the sweet things in the house..

    moo loving those that deserve loving..

    I love you errol ^-^

    so many things to live for.. 
  • 2003-09-28 12:06:35 ppl bitch about random crap everywhere I go I find em bitchin everyone around age 13 that I know are always bitchin how cruddy thier lives are thier parents don't love them.. omg I jes want to slap em sometimes! Thier life compared to so many others is like heaven!! Don't they know? That bitchin bout everything in thier life will lead to wasting time. If you want to fucken die go grab a pistol and fucken shoot yourself already! If you can't do that then try to see that the reason why you haven't killed yourself isn't that you don't have the materials or that you don't have the right time to do it. It's because somewhere inside you do want to exist. Otherwise the moment you decide to die you'd have done it. Regardless of whose there to watch u do it. :3 A true suicidal person would just go off and do it without having to fucken plan out what to use or what time to do it. The people that plan out everything are not suicidal! Blargh u dolts! Such attention whores! -_-! I was one of them! I realize that it is pointless to bitch to your friends bout being all suicidal they'll only encourage you because you keep talking bout it but u don't do it. So some people have the damned mindset that "omg no one loves me c'mon u at least love me right?" they go around doing that until someone tells them they do love them or at least care in some way.. living on that kind of lie they go onto realizing something. That they're making themselves weak. Everyone gets stronger later on. We are a generation that is best off out of those previous to us...that fought in wars and battles on a field and trenches... we too fight battles.. but they are with ourselves.. our war and battles are fought on an emotional level. We fight to win ourselves .... we fight to know ourselves.. we fight to be something.. in someone's eyes...

    When no one sees this.. we give up hope.. we give up faith.. we die for just a moment within.. thinking that the part of us physical.. must die also..in order to achieve a greater thing.. if we were to die we would be happier right? is what we think.. but no.. that is a lie.. do u not know the truthes within the lies? The truth is we all die someday, we do not necessarily die happy. If we die there is uncertainty after so leaving this world would prolly take us to the next.. if one were to commit suicide who knows where u will end? Maybe we are all within a dream and when we die we wake up in a world where we are slaves for now we have this joy of living a life with luxuries that may not exist elsewhere.. within death maybe lies the truth within the lies.. maybe we are created not born.. maybe we age differently in a real physical that exists beyond death.

    Everyone has a different perspective of where death leads them.. But.. no one knows the truth because no one that's died has ever returned to tell us of the truthes of the beyond.

    We must cherish what we hold dear to our souls, we must cherish who that we hold dear to us. We must see that this life is but a brief fragment in an everflowing cycle of life and death upon this earth.. We may be small but.. we exist and that is for certain.. We may not want to exist for ourselves.. instead wanting someone to lean on to make this life easier.. however.. we must be able to fight and stand for ourselves before we can actually be allowed to lean on someone else.. we are all something.. something more than we think we are.. we are people.. we are seperate entities each one with a different uncertain future and path.. maybe if we continue walking the life instead of ending we will end up somewhere.. somewhere more.. that lies beyond the uncertainties..

    I have a reason to live! I have many reasons to live! and that will be included in next entry!~ 
  • 2003-09-28 11:49:15 moo messed up in this sentence: "only one tanned and blond haird chink in my japanese class *sighs* must not let ro know.. but then again he very thin.. not cute.. BOO! "

    I meant that guy is thin.. tall but really thin.. O.o me wonders if he in gr 12.. MOO.. me so drooly.. KH2 sora very very hot.. :3 yaaaays! hmm maybe he is perhaps 16 in the next KH :) because it came out last year and he is the same age as me so it'll come out in around sept 2004.. so I'm thinking he will be around 16/17 in the game.. :)
     
  • T^T 2003-09-28 11:43:50 can hear song but can't save.... cannot find in temp files..

    moo *searches more* I finds! yaaay!!

    yesterday mom told me that she had my fortune told when I was really young they said that my chinese name HAS to have wood in it somewhere and wood is a part of the word thats in my chinese name that sounds like "Q" unfortunatly I hate that part of my name as to I hate the May part. I'd much rather have no name.. ^-^

    anyway.. my fortune also said that I would be perfect for a lawyer... something like that.. blargh..

    hmm but I know my path.. it is set and certain.... I WILL OWNS FFX2 KH2 FVII: ADVENT CHILDREN buahahahahahahha~!!!

    I'm a happie neko .. yesh I am.. *purr* 
  • 2003-09-27 23:49:14 teh hot!

    http://www2u.biglobe.ne.jp/~nanko/images/6787.jpg 
previous page next page
Current server time: Jan 09, 2025 03:30:32