- -sighs- 2003-10-09 15:58:20 One of Jikaru's friends really hate me...I have the feeling Hikaru hates me too. He's been lying to me and leaves whenever I talk to him. I'm worried. I hope he didn't take the I-can't-be-friends-with-u-I'm-sorry speechpersonally, even though he's the biggest reason I did it.
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I decided to not be a hermit
2003-10-08 14:54:16
yep you read right. Being a hermit just isn't working for me. So I decided to talk to everyone, but try not to have any friends. Friends always lead to pain. Hikaru's friends lead to more pain. Terr and warped lead to pain. Everything I try to be nice to leadas to pain. ;_; I wish I could die, but God hasn't killed me yet. ;_; I wish I had someone to talk to, but everyone says I'm only doing it for attention. Who else could I tell? None of my friends are on, I have no real friends, I hate my parents, and besides no one cares if you get hurt by internet people, unless you are one yourself. ;_; I hate being me. I wish I could die. Oops I already said that. >.>
I also decided I'm dropping out of school in High school. Sad yet true. To graduate in NY you NEED one foreighn language credit. I have half of one now, but german is so hard. So once I complete everything but that, I'm done. I probably won't meet Hikaru cause I bet college's that teach japanese don't take drop outs, even through I would have everything but a german credit. >.>
Besides why would I want to meet that guy. All he does is give me pain. I have no idea why I like him so much. - GAH!!!!!! 2003-09-28 06:53:50 Now even Hikaru's friends think I'm an attention whore!!!! DIE!!!!! Why does everything I do lead to more pain...I feel so depressed...Seishin should die....So should Carbon...Everyone who is Hikaru's friend should die....except maybe Aiko...she never hurt me yet...Yet...I think I'm going to try harder to be a hermit and not ask for advice...Bah I don't need advice....I just don't want to keep hurting...I need a brick wall but he hurts me too...
- nothingness 2003-09-27 15:54:47 got aim back...yay...does no use to me sense I have no friends...I'm thinking of even leaving satomi after she hurt me again...why does everything lead to pain...I want to die, but god won't kill meh...people are starting to think this 'leaving thing' is just a joke and saying I did it countless times.....fyi stupidos I only did it 3 times, and one time people thought I was dead so I came back...I feel depressed...I should really get a friend but I don't want to be hurt again...
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-sighs more again-
2003-09-16 16:31:01
My old brick wall basicly dumped me so I decided to get a new one. -.-
-ish very depressed- I want my brick wall back....I also want my aim back too. -.-
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