New anime I created. Need help...

[android21]

Well at least tell me what you think of the story..

We can't really, cause your brief explanation leaves details out and seems random.

She goes to school and fights? *need more details* Her first guardian dies? *How and what purpose does that serve?* She falls in love and love and gets married? *How does that effect her school life, and how old is she between going to school and getting married?*

The characters seem to be making random choices since we don't know their traits and abilities.

By all means keep at it, but without a detailed description of the plot/setting/themes, no one can help you or offer suggestions. It wouldn't be wise to post them directly here either, make it into word/text file and link to it for those that are interested (provided you can get temporary hosting).

!st guardian dies from old age. She quit school when shre was 17 and she married when she was 19 after being taught by Chao for 2 years. they go to live where Chao can train Miachuasha with no disruptions. then when her third guardian appears after Chao is done teaching Miachuasha she loses intrest in Chao and falls in love with Her third guardiad Named Tapion (not DBZs) and where still worken on the rest but my friend already has a plan to write the story in book form first then anime she has already written 2 books under my supervision.

[Gusto1979]

Well hello again all, long time no post.

Well doughboy, I feel your plight and know your pain. I have a story I'ld like to get turned into a movie or series or whatever, but have given up on the idea for a while. I'm actually going to school to be able to get into the field hoping that maybe just maybe I will be able to meet some people that would be able to help me out or introduce me to people. I have been lucky enough to meet a group of friends when I was in florida that are working to become an CGI team, each of them specializing in something specific, I plan to keep in touch with them to try and produce a rough image of the movie.

As for your story line, I don't much care for it. Sounds too cliche. Now I can imagine that using the same premise but changing it up a bit adding different things like hidden meanings, different setting, and things of the like then it could work out well. But I'm sorry, too many shows out there about a student getting in fights and destroying the school and so on. You have a good idea, but it sounds like you need to work with it a bit more. I understand this is but a brief synopsis, but I mean, whats the big deal about her being from a different planet, whats the time frame, whats the point of the guardians, are they human? These are all things that would make the story much more interesting. Please PLEASE step away from the norm of having a student in a high school that gets in fights to learn a moral lesson at the end and save the world. Hmmmm...Tenchi much, or Ranma, or Real Bout Highschool, or.... So like I said, sounds like you have a good idea, but just need to as mentioned before, have something special, some special draw. Why would I want to see this, what makes it different and cool. Hope this helps you in some way. As I said I'm trying to work on something of my own and I've been toying with all sorts of different ways to make it have more appeal. Frankly I think you would be better off if rather than making it a series first, make a movie and then if it goes over well you can certainly expound upon it. Thats what I plan on doing. Good luck, your gonna need it!

[Gusto1979]

wow in the time it took me to write my post like three other people posted...bah

[android21]

No offense, but you've gotta start from square one. You can't just make up some random story and then all of a sudden it's aired on TV. Don't even think about going on TV unless you happen to be the CEO of an animation studio.

For the story, you've got to have more concrete things. Which you may already have, but haven't expressed them here yet. Just a random story won't do, you've gotta have depth to your characters. Whatever happened to the third gaurdian, anyway? So far the story seems like a possible premise, but it would need to have depth. Why do these characters do what they do? Who are these gaurdians, where did they come from, what created them, what are they doing? What is the girl's life like, does she have a family, does she love her family? Why does she blow up the school and fight things? What things does she fight? What's inside her soul? How does she feel? What does she look like? Why does she fall in love with the guardian of courage?

Her mom and dad were killed by a monster that she set free when she was 3 her sister she dosen't see until later. the guardians were a select three chosen to teach Miachuasha the three traits she never learned in early life which was full of torture. These guardiand were just ordanary beings until the one who chose them awakened there true persanalitis. She fights anyone who gets in her way od dosent give her what she wants. Her soul is split in two half demond half good. Her name means My Inner Angel Child Heritage Unique And Sometimes Hells Angel. My friend came up with it (i know it is kinda corny) What6 do you think?

[android21]

Well hello again all, long time no post.


are they human?

No Miachuasha is a star Chao is a star And Tapion is a sun.

Mayen is a sorceress. there is a lot of the same race these three are the main races.

[MAS PRODUCTIONS]

I think some anime fans get too caught up in trying to make their own "anime". Even in Japan the chances of a series being produced is very low. Creating a story is fine but I think you should do it because you want to have fun not to try and get it made. I can atleast give you some tips as to make a decent solid storyline:

1. Define your character - Don’ worry about what your character looks like until you decided the characters' traits. What personality does he or she have? What is his or her hobby? How was he/she raised? What kind of friends or family did they have? Next think about how that character should act as a result of this information. A good character has depth and life to them. If you only skim the surface, the audience will find the character boring.

2. Environment - Now you must decide what kind of place do your characters exist in. Start off broad, like does the story take place on Earth or somewhere else(another planet or alternate universe). Now narrow it down to a country or region. What kind of culture exists there and how should inhabitant’s live? What kind of geography does it have? Then boil down to city or town, what does the city offer the characters? How can the characters interact with the city? After this you can boil down to homes and what not. At this point you should also decide what kind of government exists in this place. How do things work here? What kind of class system does it have?

3. Interaction - Now that you have your characters and environment, how do the two interact with each other? Where do characters live and whom do they live with or nearby? Who are friends and who are foes? The interacting of characters is what drives a story.

4. Emotions - Now that you have interaction what kind of emotions will spawn from these? The reaction of a character to another or a situation is key. Will the character be a coward or the typical shonen hero? Emotions are what connect the reader and the character. This gives the reader better understanding of the situation and keeps them entertained.

5. Plot - You now have the key ingredients to create a plot or storyline. You must create a delicate balance between all the previous items listed. If the plot isn’t balanced well it usually confuses the reader or makes them think it is boring. The sad truth is not every reader is going to connect with your story so now is a good time to decide as to the genre you wish to follow. Although combining genres keeps it interesting, too many can cause the reader to over-load. The plot itself should be first created shallow then made deeper as you go along. Don’t try to overwrite during the beginning phases. Come up with a general idea then play with it. Writing a good plot line is like sculpting, start off with a general shape then add the fine details. A good plot line will not only progress a character from one location to another but change them from one point of view to another. Meaning the character should have a different view on something by time the story ends. No one will want to read a story where the characters never change.

6. Character design – Now that you have all of this you can now decide as to what the characters should look like. Think about all the things you have now put into that character and decide what he or she should now look like. It’s best to imagine yourself as that character and think as to what you should appear. What kinds of clothes are worn by this person and why are they worn? Do they special meaning or is it just a style? This is where the class systems and environment come in handy. A lot of creators put themselves into characters, which is fine but you should consider all the factors before just self inserting.

These six factors are key for a good story, there many, many other things that I could add but I’ve learned myself from creating a webcomic that it’s best to discover some things on your own.

[android21]

I think some anime fans get too caught up in trying to make their own "anime". Even in Japan the chances of a series being produced is very low. Creating a story is fine but I think you should do it because you want to have fun not to try and get it made. I can atleast give you some tips as to make a decent solid storyline:

1. Define your character - Don’ worry about what your character looks like until you decided the characters' traits. What personality does he or she have? What is his or her hobby? How was he/she raised? What kind of friends or family did they have? Next think about how that character should act as a result of this information. A good character has depth and life to them. If you only skim the surface, the audience will find the character boring.

2. Environment - Now you must decide what kind of place do your characters exist in. Start off broad, like does the story take place on Earth or somewhere else(another planet or alternate universe). Now narrow it down to a country or region. What kind of culture exists there and how should inhabitant’s live? What kind of geography does it have? Then boil down to city or town, what does the city offer the characters? How can the characters interact with the city? After this you can boil down to homes and what not. At this point you should also decide what kind of government exists in this place. How do things work here? What kind of class system does it have?

3. Interaction - Now that you have your characters and environment, how do the two interact with each other? Where do characters live and whom do they live with or nearby? Who are friends and who are foes? The interacting of characters is what drives a story.

4. Emotions - Now that you have interaction what kind of emotions will spawn from these? The reaction of a character to another or a situation is key. Will the character be a coward or the typical shonen hero? Emotions are what connect the reader and the character. This gives the reader better understanding of the situation and keeps them entertained.

5. Plot - You now have the key ingredients to create a plot or storyline. You must create a delicate balance between all the previous items listed. If the plot isn’t balanced well it usually confuses the reader or makes them think it is boring. The sad truth is not every reader is going to connect with your story so now is a good time to decide as to the genre you wish to follow. Although combining genres keeps it interesting, too many can cause the reader to over-load. The plot itself should be first created shallow then made deeper as you go along. Don’t try to overwrite during the beginning phases. Come up with a general idea then play with it. Writing a good plot line is like sculpting, start off with a general shape then add the fine details. A good plot line will not only progress a character from one location to another but change them from one point of view to another. Meaning the character should have a different view on something by time the story ends. No one will want to read a story where the characters never change.

6. Character design – Now that you have all of this you can now decide as to what the characters should look like. Think about all the things you have now put into that character and decide what he or she should now look like. It’s best to imagine yourself as that character and think as to what you should appear. What kinds of clothes are worn by this person and why are they worn? Do they special meaning or is it just a style? This is where the class systems and environment come in handy. A lot of creators put themselves into characters, which is fine but you should consider all the factors before just self inserting.

These six factors are key for a good story, there many, many other things that I could add but I’ve learned myself from creating a webcomic that it’s best to discover some things on your own.

Okay I've Been doing that for a year and a half so far Now What?

[Tono_Fyr]

Reading your posts.... I hate the story. So boring, so cliche, so... pointless.

The characters are rather boring, and the whole ideas behind them just seems so.... blech. I mean, come on, three gaurdians, one of them dies of old age, she marries one, blech blech blech. I Hate it! God...

Not much in the way of originallity... and you know that stars and suns are the EXACT SAME THING, right? I realize that they're probably not intended to follow their names, but still, a star is a sun, and a sun is a star.

The story seems boring as hell, also extremely childish.

Give Up. Sorry, but I really do think you should give up. You'll never actually be able to make the anime. MAYBE a manga, but that won't do well, either.

I'm sorry if this seemed overly 'mean' as you will probably put it, but it's my view. The story is lame, the characters are lame, aim this at girls 5 years and younger because no one else is buying into this bullshit (cept for those fourty year olds in Sailor Moon drag....*vomits at the thought*)

[Shadowmage]

Reading your posts.... I hate the story. So boring, so cliche, so... pointless.

The characters are rather boring, and the whole ideas behind them just seems so.... blech. I mean, come on, three gaurdians, one of them dies of old age, she marries one, blech blech blech. I Hate it! God...

Not much in the way of originallity... and you know that stars and suns are the EXACT SAME THING, right? I realize that they're probably not intended to follow their names, but still, a star is a sun, and a sun is a star.

The story seems boring as hell, also extremely childish.

Give Up. Sorry, but I really do think you should give up. You'll never actually be able to make the anime. MAYBE a manga, but that won't do well, either.

I'm sorry if this seemed overly 'mean' as you will probably put it, but it's my view. The story is lame, the characters are lame, aim this at girls 5 years and younger because no one else is buying into this bullshit (cept for those fourty year olds in Sailor Moon drag....*vomits at the thought*)

............How about some more helpful criticism. Try to come up with ideas that are totally fresh and new. Like Tono said, the characters seem cliche ... and the plot seems to have little overall value. Creators of anime (or manga) often have a hard time coming up with a totally new product (however, oddly enough, they manage to in the end)
Its not very bad if you use an anime already in existance as a springing board for your creation as long as you make the work yours. Try to create more unique characters and/or with more detail, then come up with a story to follow the character (or vice versa) then repost.

[HeartbreakerByZep]

No offense, but you've gotta start from square one. You can't just make up some random story and then all of a sudden it's aired on TV. Don't even think about going on TV unless you happen to be the CEO of an animation studio.

For the story, you've got to have more concrete things. Which you may already have, but haven't expressed them here yet. Just a random story won't do, you've gotta have depth to your characters. Whatever happened to the third gaurdian, anyway? So far the story seems like a possible premise, but it would need to have depth. Why do these characters do what they do? Who are these gaurdians, where did they come from, what created them, what are they doing? What is the girl's life like, does she have a family, does she love her family? Why does she blow up the school and fight things? What things does she fight? What's inside her soul? How does she feel? What does she look like? Why does she fall in love with the guardian of courage?

Her mom and dad were killed by a monster that she set free when she was 3 her sister she dosen't see until later. the guardians were a select three chosen to teach Miachuasha the three traits she never learned in early life which was full of torture. These guardiand were just ordanary beings until the one who chose them awakened there true persanalitis. She fights anyone who gets in her way od dosent give her what she wants. Her soul is split in two half demond half good. Her name means My Inner Angel Child Heritage Unique And Sometimes Hells Angel. My friend came up with it (i know it is kinda corny) What6 do you think?

Who sent the Guardians, and why does this being care about the main character?

Having her fall in love with the 2nd guardian and then having the guardian leave when the job is over could be good, but she just loses interest and falls in love with the next guy? Why would she do that, and is she extremely shallow?