Anime Pick-Up Lines/Dirty Talk

megaman917 · Post by **megaman917** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:30 pm

A lot of the posts in this thread are starting to become rather mundane.

I asked this in the Funny Anime Questions: Screencaps Edition thread:

megaman917 wrote:Q: She said, He said, She said.

What did Rei say?
What did Shinji say?
What did Asuka say?
How did Shinji wind up like this?

olwrench replied:

oldwrench wrote:Rei: is that a hair on your chest?

Shinji: Asuka! That's not the bar of soap!

Asuka: It isn't? Mmmmm

How did Shinji end up like this? He'd like to know that too.

The AXE effect.
AXE, HOW DIRTY BOYS GET CLEAN.

megaman917 · Post by **megaman917** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:40 pm

yuppa wrote:I can see rei and asuka washing each others hair at the same time... orgasming as they rinse it out

Just wait until they try the body wash!

yuppa · Post by **yuppa** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:22 pm

yessshh!!!!!

Just as long as dr ruth i sreplaced by dr Akagi!

Kaji: hey asuka. come her ei wann show you my big hard throbbing gun!

greenrider85 · Post by **greenrider85** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:23 pm

misato: hey shinji want to see my battle scars from the second impact?

legatodeathangel · Post by **legatodeathangel** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 4:00 am

hey why dont i give this thing a shot

wolfwood: you wanna see something bigger then my cross

catapy_girl05 · Post by **catapy_girl05** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 4:17 pm

Trunks: Wanna see my sword?

greenrider85 · Post by **greenrider85** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 4:56 pm

sousuke: hey chidori want to see something bigger than an AS?

megaman917 · Post by **megaman917** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:08 am

Asuka: Alright third child! All I ever is how you syncronized with your Eva on the first try with no training, and how you do this with your Eva, and how you can do that with your Eva! Just what makes you so special!? Huh!?
Shinji: Asuka, what are you talk..............
Asuka: You have no backbone, you're useless, and an idiot to boot! It's clear that I'm the most superior of the three of us.............
Shinji: But...............
Asuka: You know what? I'm gonna find out what makes you so special, what makes you tic.
*Asuka proceeds to attack Shinji relentlessly. Shinji blocks and dodges, trying to get away from Asuka. She accidentaly swings, misses, loses her balance, and falls on top of him*
Asuka: Ouch! *She then feels something poking her and gets up*
Asuka: Huh?

Oh my! This must be it!

Shinji: What are you talking about?

Asuka: Your clothes. Lose them. Now!
Shinji: Say what!?
Asuka: I said get undressed!
Shinji: What for?
Asuka: Fine! I'll undress you myself. *struggles with him to get his clothes off. Asuka then sees it*
Asuka:

Oh my! *gulp* Th-th-this doesn't make you so special! *heart racing*
Shinji:

Asuka, you're kinda dripping on the floor.
Asuka: Who am I kidding? This has to be it. But there's only one way to find out.

*approaches him*
Shinji: *starts to back away* W-W-What are you doing?
Asuka: One, I need to see if what you have there makes you so great. Two, I want to make a man out of you. And finally, I want see who's superior; me or you. And there's only one way to do this.

Shinji: But.......
Asuka: Let me just.................. *jumps Shinji*
Shinji: AH!

......................and three hours later........................

Asuka: Shinji, how did this happen?
Shinji: You wanted to find out something.
Asuka: Oh yeah. *falls asleep*

(Sorry, but I had to post this here.)

megaman917 · Post by **megaman917** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:29 pm

Today's lesson: Thermal Expansion
*re-creation of a scene from Evangelion. the dialogue may be a little off*
*Shinji, Asuka, Rei are at the local swimming pool because they weren't allowed to go on class field trip. (They on permanent standby) Shinji is at pool side, doing homework, Rei and Asuka are swimming*

Shinji: If you know all this stuff, then why are you failing class?
Asuka: It's because I can't read Japanese. What are you working on there?
Shinji: Physics. We're doing Thermal Expansion.
Asuka: Oh! That kids' stuff. Things expand when they hot, and shrink when they get cold. For example, if I rub my hands together and place them on my breasts, will they get bigger or smaller?
Shinji: Asuka, your hands are still wet. How about you unzip your top and let me use my hands, then we'll find out.

Asuka:

You pervert! You want a full demonstration, don't you!?
Shinji: Hmmm. Yep!
Asuka: Alright. Bring those ice cubes you have there. First you're gonna use the ice to cool me down some more, then you have use your body to warm me up, and warm me up good.

Shinji: This should be very interesting.

And that was today's lesson on: Thermal Expansion
So class, what have we learn today?

Rurounikeitaro · Post by **Rurounikeitaro** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:21 am

catapy_girl05 wrote:Trunks: Wanna see my sword?

I've used that one before, the sucky part is that I don't have a real sword to finish the pun with. I'll just keep a knife in my pocket or something.